Missus being harangued by Sapphic boss - what to do ?
Discussion
My Mrs has the same problem except its a bloke harrasing her in almost the same way, she's had a word with him and that hasnt worked, still gets inappropriate texts from him, even when he's on Holiday, problem is once you make a complaint be prepared to leave as it can get pretty nasty once you do...
Tonker, why don't you answer her phone when it rings at 11 at night? And then just ask if it's an emergency, or if Mrs T can deal with it in work hours?
I used to get drunken calls like that from a colleague, and just didn't answer my phone if Paul wasn't there. It only took a couple of weeks for it to stop.
I used to get drunken calls like that from a colleague, and just didn't answer my phone if Paul wasn't there. It only took a couple of weeks for it to stop.
Tunnelmeister said:
My Mrs has the same problem except its a bloke harrasing her in almost the same way, she's had a word with him and that hasnt worked, still gets inappropriate texts from him, even when he's on Holiday, problem is once you make a complaint be prepared to leave as it can get pretty nasty once you do...
If I were you I'd either call him for a quick and harsh chat or pay him a personal visit if the former didn't work.
Rude-girls suggestion is a good one for out of hours phone calls.
Not sure how to play it at work. Perhaps your wife could invite you to her work place and make a point of meeting this witch as you go around the office?
Just dont have any suggestions other than going down a 'formal complaint' (and all that that might entail) at the mo'.
Not sure how to play it at work. Perhaps your wife could invite you to her work place and make a point of meeting this witch as you go around the office?
Just dont have any suggestions other than going down a 'formal complaint' (and all that that might entail) at the mo'.
I wouldn't do formal complaint unless it became more intrusive or physical.
I'm pretty independent too, but I'd just suggest that you answer the phone on the premise that she's asleep, or otherwise not available. And play it completely innocently.
Most things like this fade away if they are not fed by attention I think.
I'm pretty independent too, but I'd just suggest that you answer the phone on the premise that she's asleep, or otherwise not available. And play it completely innocently.
Most things like this fade away if they are not fed by attention I think.
If she is just a contractor and NOT an employer, would it make a difference if she told the woman she wasn't interested, or to STOP calling her during out of work hours? (but, as has been said she could just stop answering her phone)
Is the attention (at work) really bothering her?
Play along, and have a laugh at the womans expense
Is the attention (at work) really bothering her?
Play along, and have a laugh at the womans expense
Darth Dave said:
If I were you I'd either call him for a quick and harsh chat or pay him a personal visit if the former didn't work.
Thats the next step, but you know what these career women are like, she's confronted him recently and said that i've seen the texts and thats shut him up, problem he's the FD and can make it very difficult for her to do her role in the company if he wants to make it difficult for her...
Darth Dave said:
My Mrs has the same problem except its a bloke harrasing her in almost the same way, she's had a word with him and that hasnt worked, still gets inappropriate texts from him, even when he's on Holiday, problem is once you make a complaint be prepared to leave as it can get pretty nasty once you do...
If I were you I'd either call him for a quick and harsh chat or pay him a personal visit if the former didn't work.
this one is easy to sort out: talk to him or if that fails knock the shit out of him
tonkers problem is more complex however..
Right then, time to give the 'aggressor' some clear messages then, if your missus doesn't want to deal with it more directly.
I'm assuming that the company don't have HR emergencies at night, so she doesn't actually need to answer work calls out of work hours (like an engineering contractor might). So either switch the phoneoff /put it on silent at 8, or get another phone and use the existing one for work, and the new one for friends. (that's what I do).
Get a nice photo frame at the weekend and she can put a pic of you and her on her desk. Send her flowers at work, and she can make a point of looking loved-up when she gets them. If she's got an eternity ring she doesn't normally wear at work, put it on. If she gets asked what she's doing at the weekend, then "romantic weekend away", or "the kids are staying with xxx, we're having some time to ourselves" would be a good answer.
If she's asked to stay late or go out in the evening, just answer with a plain "I'm afraid that's not possible, I have a commitment" and don't be drawn on what the nature of the commitment is. Never say 'I have to get home for the kids', but use something more active, like "I like to spend my evenings with my husband and children".
Drop enough cues and it should wear off. If not, then I would be more direct and say 'as a contractor, I find the friendship of someone at your level a little uncomfortable; I'd prefer a more professional relationship", or "you seem to spend a lot of time at my desk, are you unhappy with my work?".
>> Edited by rude girl on Thursday 26th January 09:35
I'm assuming that the company don't have HR emergencies at night, so she doesn't actually need to answer work calls out of work hours (like an engineering contractor might). So either switch the phoneoff /put it on silent at 8, or get another phone and use the existing one for work, and the new one for friends. (that's what I do).
Get a nice photo frame at the weekend and she can put a pic of you and her on her desk. Send her flowers at work, and she can make a point of looking loved-up when she gets them. If she's got an eternity ring she doesn't normally wear at work, put it on. If she gets asked what she's doing at the weekend, then "romantic weekend away", or "the kids are staying with xxx, we're having some time to ourselves" would be a good answer.
If she's asked to stay late or go out in the evening, just answer with a plain "I'm afraid that's not possible, I have a commitment" and don't be drawn on what the nature of the commitment is. Never say 'I have to get home for the kids', but use something more active, like "I like to spend my evenings with my husband and children".
Drop enough cues and it should wear off. If not, then I would be more direct and say 'as a contractor, I find the friendship of someone at your level a little uncomfortable; I'd prefer a more professional relationship", or "you seem to spend a lot of time at my desk, are you unhappy with my work?".
>> Edited by rude girl on Thursday 26th January 09:35
i can't say i've ever been in this sort of position (with a lesbian wanting to get off with me....dam,buggar,sod it)....but i can understand that it making your missus uncomfortable......how long does the contract run for? It may be worth trying to weather the storm and try some of the above mentioned things, then for your missus to leave without any fuss?
Mrs Fish said:
Play along, and have a laugh at the womans expense
Nooo waaay. Sounds like she doesn't need the encouragement. And when push comes to shove? The rejection will be even worse. Hell hath no fury etc etc etc. I'd just weather this. Give her no encouragement whatsoever. Don't answer the phone outside of work hours. During work be utterly professional. Ignore all attempts at chat up. Either she'll go too far and get physical or she'll get bored. If she gets physical that's sexual harassment. I think your Missus should consider carrying a pocket voice recorder.
A little bit of evidence can either be used to formally get rid of this woman. Or more amusingly for some serious blackmail. I'd suggest the latter - but only for the purpose of ensuring fair treatment whilst working at the place.
rude girl said:
Right then, time to give the 'aggressor' some clear messages then, if your missus doesn't want to deal with it more directly.
I'm assuming that the company don't have HR emergencies at night, so she doesn't actually need to answer work calls out of work hours (like an engineering contractor might). So either switch the phoneoff /put it on silent at 8, or get another phone and use the existing one for work, and the new one for friends. (that's what I do).
Get a nice photo frame at the weekend and she can put a pic of you and her on her desk. Send her flowers at work, and she can make a point of looking loved-up when she gets them. If she's got an eternity ring she doesn't normally wear at work, put it on. If she gets asked what she's doing at the weekend, then "romantic weekend away", or "the kids are staying with xxx, we're having some time to ourselves" would be a good answer.
If she's asked to stay late or go out in the evening, just answer with a plain "I'm afraid that's not possible, I have a commitment" and don't be drawn on what the nature of the commitment is. Never say 'I have to get home for the kids', but use something more active, like "I like to spend my evenings with my husband and children".
Drop enough cues and it should wear off. If not, then I would be more direct and say 'as a contractor, I find the friendship of someone at your level a little uncomfortable; I'd prefer a more professional relationship", or "you seem to spend a lot of time at my desk, are you unhappy with my work?".
>> Edited by rude girl on Thursday 26th January 09:35
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