Red-faced bolt-on boy
Discussion
I had to nip down to B&Q this morning in an emergency break from decorating the kitchen. When I came out, there was a glorious 
Citroen AX parked next to me, maxed up - I'm sure it looked fantastic when fully illuminated.
Anyway, the bonnet was up, and the boy owner was standing looking puzzled, with a litre bottle of oil in his hand. Could I resist? Of course not - I leaned over, pointed to the oil cap and said 'It's this one love'.
Citroen AX parked next to me, maxed up - I'm sure it looked fantastic when fully illuminated. Anyway, the bonnet was up, and the boy owner was standing looking puzzled, with a litre bottle of oil in his hand. Could I resist? Of course not - I leaned over, pointed to the oil cap and said 'It's this one love'.
-face!
I had to nip down to B&Q this morning in an emergency break from decorating the kitchen. When I came out, there was a glorious
Anyway, the bonnet was up, and the boy owner was standing looking puzzled, with a litre bottle of oil in his hand. Could I resist? Of course not - I leaned over, pointed to the oil cap and said 'It's this one love'.
you are a Rude girl
nice to see you helping out a fellow "motorist" though, no matter how cheeky it seemed 
did he appreciate it ?!
Just shows that some of these young so-called 'enthusiasts' really haven't got a clue, though considering the shit reading materials they're brought up on it's hardly surprising.
This story reminds me of one I heard a few years back about young lad who'd just bought his first motorbike. Within weeks it was back at the dealers with a seized engine, a strip down revealing the obvious cause to be lack of oil.
'Didn't you ever check the oil level?' the dealers asked.
'Yes' replied lad. 'I followed the instructions in the handbook exactly. It says there should be oil on the dipstick up to the full mark, and if there isn't you should add oil until there is. So whenever the oil on the dipstick wasn't up the the full mark I put more oil on it till it was...'
This story reminds me of one I heard a few years back about young lad who'd just bought his first motorbike. Within weeks it was back at the dealers with a seized engine, a strip down revealing the obvious cause to be lack of oil.
'Didn't you ever check the oil level?' the dealers asked.
'Yes' replied lad. 'I followed the instructions in the handbook exactly. It says there should be oil on the dipstick up to the full mark, and if there isn't you should add oil until there is. So whenever the oil on the dipstick wasn't up the the full mark I put more oil on it till it was...'
Red and loud too....cor looka that zorst!!!!
I visited Demon Tweeks in Wrexham a while back to have some tracking work done, and im in the back reception area.
In comes these 3 muppets with their baggy ass trousers on, all rips and tears and bad dude haircuts looking like fashion victims.
Leader of the 3 stooges goes up to the exhaust stand, and sticks his face right down a 5" tailpipe to gasps of "ooh" and "wow" from his disciples.
Me, im having fits of hysterics at these numptys.
Anyway, king numpty puts the "monsta" box back and picks up a 3" slip on tailpipe, goes to the counter and asks one of the guys "these make a lota power dont they?" in a half statement half question fashion.
"Yeah" says the guy behind the counter obviously amused by these kids, "lot louder than a standard exhaust too".
"Ok ill have it says numpty".
15 squids later hes off out the door with his newest "go farster" accessory, nearly falling flat on his face cos his wigger style hat is pulled down to his chin.
Muppets, i give up on em.
I visited Demon Tweeks in Wrexham a while back to have some tracking work done, and im in the back reception area.
In comes these 3 muppets with their baggy ass trousers on, all rips and tears and bad dude haircuts looking like fashion victims.
Leader of the 3 stooges goes up to the exhaust stand, and sticks his face right down a 5" tailpipe to gasps of "ooh" and "wow" from his disciples.
Me, im having fits of hysterics at these numptys.
Anyway, king numpty puts the "monsta" box back and picks up a 3" slip on tailpipe, goes to the counter and asks one of the guys "these make a lota power dont they?" in a half statement half question fashion.
"Yeah" says the guy behind the counter obviously amused by these kids, "lot louder than a standard exhaust too".
"Ok ill have it says numpty".
15 squids later hes off out the door with his newest "go farster" accessory, nearly falling flat on his face cos his wigger style hat is pulled down to his chin.
Muppets, i give up on em.
We all have to start somewhere and there is a lot to learn.
in 1965 my car had five auxillary lamps on the front, a screen mounted spotlamp (Helephos) and a spotlamp on the back. if I could have afforded a roof mounted rally lamp it would have had one too. A straight through exhaust and a 3 inch dia tailpipe allowed you to dream even in an Austin A30.
I am gradually growing out of the boy racer stage but my better half says I still have someway to go.
Give tomorrow's enthusiasts a chance, remember your own early days.
in 1965 my car had five auxillary lamps on the front, a screen mounted spotlamp (Helephos) and a spotlamp on the back. if I could have afforded a roof mounted rally lamp it would have had one too. A straight through exhaust and a 3 inch dia tailpipe allowed you to dream even in an Austin A30.
I am gradually growing out of the boy racer stage but my better half says I still have someway to go.
Give tomorrow's enthusiasts a chance, remember your own early days.
rich 36 said: And thats the other thing Deltaf, why is it always a trio posse one to (drive), one in charge of ICE, another one for er? Backup, yeah thats it..
I suppose you need one to do somthing that barely passes at driving, the 2nd to help aim the car at Halfords car window, and the third to pick up the wonderful bounty of cheap accessories and shite once their Nova has (barely) penetrated the shop window.
Yeah i know we all have to learn somewhere, but have a think back at what we used to read at their ages?
Nowadays its all bollox, "slammed to the deck"..."full of ice"..."loud zorst"....
Im very much afraid that the Max power muppets are only interested in how many dBs their stereos can make, rather than how may kw, (oops) ahem, BHPs their engines can make.
All show and no go is what springs to mind.
Its all blue leds on the washer jets (whats all that about?) and front splitters that er split when they hit a speed bump.
Im a qualifried mechanic, and i had the uneviable task of trying to teach these "young uns" about the workings of the infernal combustion injun.
Most of them just cant seem to get their heads around why a 1.0litre nova engine cant make as much power as a Griff, just by putting a "monsta" tailpipe on it.....
Anybody remember Fast Car mag? from way back?
It used to be informative, now its fulla shite. Birds hanging their tits oot, and spotty yoofs hanging their drooling tongues out, and generally pulling stupid faces, you dont read it,rather you wipe your ass on it, and hope the ink dont come off.
Am i going on a bit? yes i am......laters.
Nowadays its all bollox, "slammed to the deck"..."full of ice"..."loud zorst"....
Im very much afraid that the Max power muppets are only interested in how many dBs their stereos can make, rather than how may kw, (oops) ahem, BHPs their engines can make.
All show and no go is what springs to mind.
Its all blue leds on the washer jets (whats all that about?) and front splitters that er split when they hit a speed bump.
Im a qualifried mechanic, and i had the uneviable task of trying to teach these "young uns" about the workings of the infernal combustion injun.
Most of them just cant seem to get their heads around why a 1.0litre nova engine cant make as much power as a Griff, just by putting a "monsta" tailpipe on it.....
Anybody remember Fast Car mag? from way back?
It used to be informative, now its fulla shite. Birds hanging their tits oot, and spotty yoofs hanging their drooling tongues out, and generally pulling stupid faces, you dont read it,rather you wipe your ass on it, and hope the ink dont come off.
Am i going on a bit? yes i am......laters.
When I think 9 or 10, I could strip out a go-kart engine, and reassemble it to start.
what with the meccano and god knows what else we played with then, we had an inkling about how things
stuck together, that sort of thing does'nt seem relevant today, which i think is not only sad, but symbolic of (not only) this country looking at the objects on my desk here only one or two of them were made in the UK,
what with the meccano and god knows what else we played with then, we had an inkling about how things
stuck together, that sort of thing does'nt seem relevant today, which i think is not only sad, but symbolic of (not only) this country looking at the objects on my desk here only one or two of them were made in the UK,
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