My parents are scaring me.
Discussion
I'm lucky enough that my parents are still together and in good health and I have a pretty good relationship with both of them. As such the thought of losing either of them (they're only 60) scares the hell out of me, which I'm sure is pretty natural, but I'm not sure how I'll cope when it happens.
Last night my dad ploughed into the back of a stationary car at 70mph on the motorway and would have been dead if it hadn't been for the airbag. My sister was the doctor who was initially called to him in A&E as well, until she saw who it was, as she isn't allowed to treat relatives. I think she was pretty shocked by it.
Earlier this year my mum wrote off her car at about 50mph due to someone pulling out in front of her. Again, she was okay due to the airbag deploying.
I'm not really trying to say anything other than how aware I have now become of my parents mortality, whereas before I had always tended to think they would always be there. And it doesn't compare to what a lot of people go through on a daily basis.
However, fortunately I'm moving back to Edinburgh next week and I fully intend to spend as much time as possible enjoying their company whilst I still can.
I just feel a bit weird, and needed to get something down in writing.
Last night my dad ploughed into the back of a stationary car at 70mph on the motorway and would have been dead if it hadn't been for the airbag. My sister was the doctor who was initially called to him in A&E as well, until she saw who it was, as she isn't allowed to treat relatives. I think she was pretty shocked by it.
Earlier this year my mum wrote off her car at about 50mph due to someone pulling out in front of her. Again, she was okay due to the airbag deploying.
I'm not really trying to say anything other than how aware I have now become of my parents mortality, whereas before I had always tended to think they would always be there. And it doesn't compare to what a lot of people go through on a daily basis.
However, fortunately I'm moving back to Edinburgh next week and I fully intend to spend as much time as possible enjoying their company whilst I still can.
I just feel a bit weird, and needed to get something down in writing.
nice post.My father has had 6 heart (more) attacks this last year, which really brought it home to me, Mum is fine, no illnesses at all, but I fear that due to this, she will be first to go and it will be out of the blue.
Like you Nevin, I'm scared of what life would be like without either of them.
Like you Nevin, I'm scared of what life would be like without either of them.
My old dads 82,i always worry about him but still he goes out without my mum for a drive,you would know if youve ever been stuck behind him he drives everywhere at 20mph. 
I sometimes expect a call concerning him,but the old fella will probably outlive me,anyway you often hear about people not being able to say good bye to the ones that are close and then they are unfortunately taken.
So one day i made a special point of ringing him and telling him how much i care about him,i consider that something really worth doing if you get the chance.
Anyway the weekends here
I sometimes expect a call concerning him,but the old fella will probably outlive me,anyway you often hear about people not being able to say good bye to the ones that are close and then they are unfortunately taken.
So one day i made a special point of ringing him and telling him how much i care about him,i consider that something really worth doing if you get the chance.
Anyway the weekends here
Yep, as a child your parents are immortal, infallable and constant. As you get older it's scary to see the signs of old age and fallability, and realise that they're not going to be around forever.
Somehow having your own children changes things. I've realised how much my parents have done for me and that's strengthened our bond. Luckily my parents have also been able to bond with their grandchild - I think that seeing the cycle repeat is comforting.
Somehow having your own children changes things. I've realised how much my parents have done for me and that's strengthened our bond. Luckily my parents have also been able to bond with their grandchild - I think that seeing the cycle repeat is comforting.
Harry Flashman said:
You've learned to appreciate them while they're still around. Lots of people don't. All too often we moan about the 1% people do wrong and never notice the 99% they do right.
This is a great sentiment.
Yeah whatever. Have you shagged your flatmate yet?
stovey said:
You've learned to appreciate them while they're still around. Lots of people don't. All too often we moan about the 1% people do wrong and never notice the 99% they do right.
This is a great sentiment.
Yeah whatever. Have you shagged your flatmate yet?
Shut up. She hasn't moved in yet.
I'm going out to Brussels to visit her next weekend. I'm a nice landlord, see?
You have learnt the first lesson:
Appreciate them,enjoy them and look after them, Tell them how much you love them and appreciate what they have done for you.Ask them all the questions you need answering and spend precious time with them.
When that sad day comes at least you will be fullfilled knowing that you really took time to tell them how you felt.
The death of ones parents is the next step up in the learning curve of life it makes one accept ones own morality and life changes so dramamtically.The day you lose you last parent you truly become a grown up and believe me it is a very scarey and also enlightning experience. You begin to realise who you truly are .
Chill mate and enjoy them. If you have children encourage them to spend more time with there grandparents. They will appreciate it all one day.
Appreciate them,enjoy them and look after them, Tell them how much you love them and appreciate what they have done for you.Ask them all the questions you need answering and spend precious time with them.
When that sad day comes at least you will be fullfilled knowing that you really took time to tell them how you felt.
The death of ones parents is the next step up in the learning curve of life it makes one accept ones own morality and life changes so dramamtically.The day you lose you last parent you truly become a grown up and believe me it is a very scarey and also enlightning experience. You begin to realise who you truly are .
Chill mate and enjoy them. If you have children encourage them to spend more time with there grandparents. They will appreciate it all one day.
my parents are both elderly and just recently i have had them move in with me so that i can keep an eye on them. its great to spend time with them but its hard to see them slowly lose their marbles in front of you.
they love a real fire but have a habit of sticking in large logs which hang out over the carpet and then falling asleep.
we have always been too busy to spend time together but its great now to see them pottering about in the garden. i take them to keep fit and other classes they have signed up for.
all i can say is spend time with them while you can, and if like my mum they try to polish the dining table with air freshner just have a laugh with them.
they love a real fire but have a habit of sticking in large logs which hang out over the carpet and then falling asleep.
we have always been too busy to spend time together but its great now to see them pottering about in the garden. i take them to keep fit and other classes they have signed up for.
all i can say is spend time with them while you can, and if like my mum they try to polish the dining table with air freshner just have a laugh with them.
I lost my Mother last year my Father passed away when i was 14 , i think the worst thing is seeing them kind of fade away .
As a child they are the ones you look up to and respect and to see them start to struggle with getting about as my Mother did is so sad as she was always so active , well with 4 sons i guess she had to be .
Make the most of them Mate
As a child they are the ones you look up to and respect and to see them start to struggle with getting about as my Mother did is so sad as she was always so active , well with 4 sons i guess she had to be .
Make the most of them Mate
los angeles said:
Last night my dad ploughed into the back of a stationary car at 70mph on the motorway...Earlier this year my mum wrote off her car at about 50mph. 
It creeps up on you slowly causing you to misjudge distance; your peripheral vision goes, you trip on steps, bump head on kitchen doors, snag the wing mirror entering the garage a task you've done hundreds of times, don't see the book your searching for on the desk in front of you, and type errols all over the place.
>> Edited by los angeles on Friday 10th February 19:11
I'm that bad now!
A close call late last year brought it home to me. we were heading from separate directions to a family wedding in Maidenhead.
my parents, who are 65 and 73 were travelling down in their newly acquired 12 month old Fiesta.
At J9 of the M6 travelling at about 60mph they were hit on the left rear corner by a left hand drive artic truck, spun round, hit again, spun again and came to a rest.
Somehow, for a busy saturday afternoon, no-one else hit them.
The car was a write off, but my parents only suffered a little whiplash and still made it to the wedding. One seriously stressful day but the relief they were unharmed is immeasureable.
my parents, who are 65 and 73 were travelling down in their newly acquired 12 month old Fiesta.
At J9 of the M6 travelling at about 60mph they were hit on the left rear corner by a left hand drive artic truck, spun round, hit again, spun again and came to a rest.
Somehow, for a busy saturday afternoon, no-one else hit them.
The car was a write off, but my parents only suffered a little whiplash and still made it to the wedding. One seriously stressful day but the relief they were unharmed is immeasureable.
I lost my mum about 4 years ago and it came at a bad time for us, as there were one or two issues between us, that weren't major, but were always there in the back of my mind.
It sounds fatalistic, but nothing will prepare you for it, nothing will replace them, so just try and enjoy everything they bring to your life, which will be more then you can ever realise.
I always feel like a bit of a love struck teenager when I quote song lyrics or refer to them, but in this case I can't put this any better, so I'm going to let The Flaming Lips express what I'm trying to:
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
It sounds fatalistic, but nothing will prepare you for it, nothing will replace them, so just try and enjoy everything they bring to your life, which will be more then you can ever realise.
I always feel like a bit of a love struck teenager when I quote song lyrics or refer to them, but in this case I can't put this any better, so I'm going to let The Flaming Lips express what I'm trying to:
Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize - we're floating in space -
Do You Realize - that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do You Realize
Do You Realize - that everyone you know
Someday will die -
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
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