Why is it the ones you least expect?
Discussion
cheers folks
she should get better - but i mean what a nutcase shes only 18, shes not going to be allowed out drinking again while shes under this roof i would have thought.
and as it is often said - it is a selfish thing to do. especially since my mum lost both her parents last year!
she should get better - but i mean what a nutcase shes only 18, shes not going to be allowed out drinking again while shes under this roof i would have thought.
and as it is often said - it is a selfish thing to do. especially since my mum lost both her parents last year!
Do you remember your teenage years,
I do, and for some of us, it was an horrendous time.
I can see it from both sides of
the coin now, what with a teenager (still barely) around the house,
all that kevin-esque angst, and shouting, total confusion regarding being a kid, and
alternately a young adult, with all the peer pressure going on at same time.
I'ts perhaps understandable some of them think of ending it all
as a way out
I do, and for some of us, it was an horrendous time.
I can see it from both sides of
the coin now, what with a teenager (still barely) around the house,
all that kevin-esque angst, and shouting, total confusion regarding being a kid, and
alternately a young adult, with all the peer pressure going on at same time.
I'ts perhaps understandable some of them think of ending it all
as a way out
tomtvr said:
cheers folks
she should get better - but i mean what a nutcase shes only 18, shes not going to be allowed out drinking again while shes under this roof i would have thought.
and as it is often said - it is a selfish thing to do. especially since my mum lost both her parents last year!
Please don't make her feel guilty about it - its not going to make it any better. Sometimes people do these things as a way of asking for help. Treat her with a bit of sympathy and make sure she knows you are there for her if she needs help.
Tom - sorry to hear about your sister. As someone who has attempted suicide twice,I can tell you she is not being selfish. I firmly believe that the phrase 'not in their right mind' is correct. On both occasions, I honestly believed it was the right thing to do. You really think that it's the best thing for all around you. What your sister needs is love, support, and an attempt at understanding. Please don't condemn her.......
(trying not to sound bossy
)
(trying not to sound bossy
)Hope she gets better Tom, but she needs help - she is obviously feeling that she has no-one that she can talk to about something that is worrying her, could be anything.
Have you spoken to any of her mates?
I don't have any suggestions as to how to get her to open up, some people won't - I know I don't, and I've been treated for depression as a result of it.
Quite often, an attempt is a cry for help.
From experience of people that have done this, they know what they are doing, they have it planned and planned for it not to go wrong.
A cowards way out? A selfish thing to do? I'm not sure on either of those comments - suicide can be done to spare people further pain, the person truly believes that this is the best thing for all concerned.
Have you spoken to any of her mates?
I don't have any suggestions as to how to get her to open up, some people won't - I know I don't, and I've been treated for depression as a result of it.
Quite often, an attempt is a cry for help.
From experience of people that have done this, they know what they are doing, they have it planned and planned for it not to go wrong.
A cowards way out? A selfish thing to do? I'm not sure on either of those comments - suicide can be done to spare people further pain, the person truly believes that this is the best thing for all concerned.
vixpy1 said:
Sometimes the happiest people on the outside, are the saddest people on the inside
i know someone else who committed suicide last year and it was a massive shock...he also was outgoing and cheerful like Ian.....I don't know what sort of problems Ian had, but this other guy had a very successful career, was hugely popular and had a young family......people just couldn't get their heads around this either.....
Tom....good luck with your sis and be thankful she was found in time and can hopefully be helped.....
Why is it the ones you least expect? Tough question mate. I didn't really look at things like this much whilst I studied psychology but I'll have a go.
A lot of nice people can sometimes feel underappreciated especially when they know they're going out of their way to be freindly. Not intrinsically because of selvish reasons for acceptance and so on but just because it's in their nature. When they observe other 'less nice' people around them gaining more sociality than themselves it can be demoralising to say the least.
I could be way off here though and I certainly have no expertise on the subject whatsover.
All I'll say is, just try and involve that person in a bit more group stuff and try and appreciate them more. We all need to feel appreciated.
A lot of nice people can sometimes feel underappreciated especially when they know they're going out of their way to be freindly. Not intrinsically because of selvish reasons for acceptance and so on but just because it's in their nature. When they observe other 'less nice' people around them gaining more sociality than themselves it can be demoralising to say the least.
I could be way off here though and I certainly have no expertise on the subject whatsover.
All I'll say is, just try and involve that person in a bit more group stuff and try and appreciate them more. We all need to feel appreciated.
Thanks again guys. - your advice is helpful.
Shes staying in overnighta and should be home tomorrow.
She has in the last 18 months completely changed her life, quit school half way through A levels, changed all of her mates and has become sort of a goth. Gigs every week and frequently comes home off her face. But then again i come home off my face all the time and im happy as pie. Really is unexpected, nobody can think of any reason.
The return of my mum from the hospital should hopefully yeild some answers.
Shes staying in overnighta and should be home tomorrow.
She has in the last 18 months completely changed her life, quit school half way through A levels, changed all of her mates and has become sort of a goth. Gigs every week and frequently comes home off her face. But then again i come home off my face all the time and im happy as pie. Really is unexpected, nobody can think of any reason.
The return of my mum from the hospital should hopefully yeild some answers.
We are closer to despair than we might think...
Those moments when you feel like 'walking away' or 'driving off into the distance', well its the same kind of escapist fantasy that can develop into something darker under different circumstances.
An interesting thought:
There are a great many people alive who have tried to kill themselves and really meant it - but failed...
There are a great many people dead who have tried to kill themselves but only really wanted to attract help - but they were successful...
Be thankful, she has reached her lowest point and yet she is still here. She is in need of help, love and support and you can still offer her this.
And most of all...
She is still your sister, and not a "nutcase"...
Those moments when you feel like 'walking away' or 'driving off into the distance', well its the same kind of escapist fantasy that can develop into something darker under different circumstances.
An interesting thought:
There are a great many people alive who have tried to kill themselves and really meant it - but failed...
There are a great many people dead who have tried to kill themselves but only really wanted to attract help - but they were successful...
Be thankful, she has reached her lowest point and yet she is still here. She is in need of help, love and support and you can still offer her this.
And most of all...
She is still your sister, and not a "nutcase"...
vixpy1 said:
Sometimes the happiest people on the outside, are the saddest people on the inside
Two of the Kindest,Most Loveing People that I knew as friends,and grew up with ended there lives.They were always laughing and seemed totally Happy.I knew their wives and children and they had what seemed the Perfect Marraige and they were well off with money.I've always wondered Why?But as has been mentioned.What makes you think that your ever going to understand,whats going on in the mind of another man.So Sad
I can say that you just can´t know about these things. Are there signs or are there not? It makes you feel quilty not noticing that something is wrong doesn´t it? It also makes you feel helpless. All perfectly understandable states of mind. Be there for her and try to open up a communcation line. Professional help is always there for you to take as well. Dont be afraid of that. Strength to you.
>> Edited by Jonna_Rex on Saturday 11th February 21:18
>> Edited by Jonna_Rex on Saturday 11th February 21:18
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