The 3rd way a look back at daft ideas 2002
Discussion
So, we are approaching the time of year when we start to wind down and take it easy, looking forward to the celebration of an ancient pagan festival. What we now call Christmas was no doubt dreamed up by an ancient Mancunian community leader who figured the only way of overcoming the gloom and misery of 6 months of constant rain and darkness, (preceded by 6 months constant rain and daylight) not to mention the cold, was to get everyone to eat too much and get completely shitfaced for a week or so, half way through.
Down the millennia, things have got a little muddled though! Starting with the notion that Christ was a white man
We have got progressively worse. The Spanish inquisition, abolition of slavery, repeal of the corn laws, votes for women, Timmy Mallet and finally Tony Blair.
It is not all doom and gloom though. Despite the fact that our ancestors had carte blanche to race around the countryside madly raping an pillaging, nicking anything they fancied look at what they had to put up with. No electricity, no health service, no education and no transport infrastructure. In addition the life expectancy and level of personal hygiene meant the window of opportunity for reproducing was so much shorter and required huge amounts of alcohol and several paper bags before consummation was possible.
Now we have superscars so fast they need electronics just to keep them on the road, playstation 2, Kylie, er.... Kylie, mobile phones, the internet, virtual reality, mood enhancing drugs, Tatinger blanc de blanc, easyjet and cheap hotels in the winter sun. We are no longer covered in shit or wode as they used to call it. We have Viagra, even in presidential strength. The average woman looks quite passable well into her forties and even fifties, whereas years ago they hit 25 and needed ironing.
All in all life is pretty damn good really. Just one problem. 2002 produced this lot.
‘Speed kills’
‘Street louts to be taken to cash machines and fined on the spot’
‘Speed kills’
‘Headteachers to fine parents of truants’
‘Speed kills’
‘Safety Cameras cut accidents by 30%’
‘Speed kills’
‘Electronic number plate tags’
‘Speed kills’
‘Truvelos become widespread’
‘Speed kills’
‘Congestion Charging gets go ahead’
‘Speed kills’
‘Lottery funds T2000’
‘Speed kills’
‘Customs stop and search given all clear’
‘Speed kills’
Down the millennia, things have got a little muddled though! Starting with the notion that Christ was a white man
We have got progressively worse. The Spanish inquisition, abolition of slavery, repeal of the corn laws, votes for women, Timmy Mallet and finally Tony Blair. It is not all doom and gloom though. Despite the fact that our ancestors had carte blanche to race around the countryside madly raping an pillaging, nicking anything they fancied look at what they had to put up with. No electricity, no health service, no education and no transport infrastructure. In addition the life expectancy and level of personal hygiene meant the window of opportunity for reproducing was so much shorter and required huge amounts of alcohol and several paper bags before consummation was possible.
Now we have superscars so fast they need electronics just to keep them on the road, playstation 2, Kylie, er.... Kylie, mobile phones, the internet, virtual reality, mood enhancing drugs, Tatinger blanc de blanc, easyjet and cheap hotels in the winter sun. We are no longer covered in shit or wode as they used to call it. We have Viagra, even in presidential strength. The average woman looks quite passable well into her forties and even fifties, whereas years ago they hit 25 and needed ironing.
All in all life is pretty damn good really. Just one problem. 2002 produced this lot.
‘Speed kills’
‘Street louts to be taken to cash machines and fined on the spot’
‘Speed kills’
‘Headteachers to fine parents of truants’
‘Speed kills’
‘Safety Cameras cut accidents by 30%’
‘Speed kills’
‘Electronic number plate tags’
‘Speed kills’
‘Truvelos become widespread’
‘Speed kills’
‘Congestion Charging gets go ahead’
‘Speed kills’
‘Lottery funds T2000’
‘Speed kills’
‘Customs stop and search given all clear’
‘Speed kills’
you are a very brave man
How did you get those two in the same sentence?
"....Timmy Mallet and finally Tony Blair"
One's a stupid w*****g clown-costume-wearing-t*****t with silly props to support him who thinks he's funny getting his ugly fizzog on the telly all the time.....
.....and the other one? Wasn't he the utterly brilliant Timmy Mallet? www.brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/
"....Timmy Mallet and finally Tony Blair"
One's a stupid w*****g clown-costume-wearing-t*****t with silly props to support him who thinks he's funny getting his ugly fizzog on the telly all the time.....
.....and the other one? Wasn't he the utterly brilliant Timmy Mallet? www.brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/
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