Discussion
CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
THE END
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in
Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from
Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company
[funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened
with compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it
on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural
diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operations and
terrorize the community.
THE END
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.
THE END
THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the
summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in
Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With Starving
Babies Party, the Single Lesbian One Eyed Mothers Party and the
Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house.
The BBC, interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival special from
Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall
Overcome."
Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to
hire grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company
[funded by the EU] (although within weeks, his business is threatened
with compulsory purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant).
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of
the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the
government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old
house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.
The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it
on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of
despair arising from social inequity.
The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders,
praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural
diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operations and
terrorize the community.
THE END
That would be funny if it wasn't true 
The lovely government are currently trying to fine me for the following.
Parking for 2 minutes outside Jan's house in Fleet on a Saturday morning - £150
My accountant not filing my company directors form in time - £150
My accountant not filing my company tax return in time - £1140
My accountant not filing my personal tax return in 2000 on time - £1000+ on £1.96 of interest.
Basically I am refusing to pay all of the above so will probably soon be in jail
The lovely government are currently trying to fine me for the following.
Parking for 2 minutes outside Jan's house in Fleet on a Saturday morning - £150
My accountant not filing my company directors form in time - £150
My accountant not filing my company tax return in time - £1140
My accountant not filing my personal tax return in 2000 on time - £1000+ on £1.96 of interest.
Basically I am refusing to pay all of the above so will probably soon be in jail
c5ragtop said:
Sounds to me like your "Accountant" should be in there with you. Shame you can't stick two fingers up to him (well not for the time being..... )
I can do an excellent one fingered salute though...... The galling thing is the accountant is the company secretary and therefore an officer of the company but it's my neck in the noose as I am the director.
What is even more galling is I know the accountant f@cked up on the filing the accounts on time but the returning of the tax returns etc. I know he did!
Unfortunately this government has brought in this "we will fine you" policy for every bureacratic hoop you fail to jump through. Also to burden of proof is always on you never them as they have this "we are always right" attitude and no matter the fact you have prrof of posting your tax return on the 30th of January, if they have not logged the tax return into their system by the 1st of Feb then you get fined!
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