A bit of a Flashman (LP)
Discussion
Discussion has been somewhat serious here as of late, so to lighten your moods here is the opportunity to have a laugh at my expense.......
It's not unusual (well for me anyway) to wake up the morning after a night in the pub with some nebulous but nagging feeling that something, somehow had gone wrong the night before. This morning was one of those occasions. It was with some degree of concern that I pondered what I had done to be embarrassed about this time, but couldn't quite put my finger on it.
As the morning wears on, as is the way with alcohol, my brain is gradually drip feeding me snippets of detail regarding where I was, what (apart from drinking) I was doing and whom I was drinking with. Now, the vast majority of this information is thoroughly mundane and for precisely this reason had been archived to secondary storage in some backwater of my brain and as with all good archival companies the fine detail was taking time to arrive on the van as it were.
The puzzling thing was that despite now having copious amounts of information about the Olympics coverage on the pub TV and some strange but nonetheless entertaining bike courier that I had chatted to about motorcycle accidents for an hour or so, I still couldn't work out why I should be feeling so uncomfortable.
Now for a bit of background. I work in London, and am such a profoundly lazy person that I insist that if I am to work in the City, then I live in the City. It is much the same with anywhere I get a contract really, live close and adopt a pub equidistant from the office and home as a local. My latest contract seems to have dragged on for some time and due to my fondness for a drink and aversion to sitting at home watching the drivel on TV, I've spent rather alot of time in my local. So much so that I know all the staff by first name, get priority service at the bar, get invited to partake of the landlords' delivery food after time and get credit without any visible means of repayment. "Not bad", you may think, but this still doesn't solve my problem, just what had I done to warrant such unease regarding the said drinking establishment?
The easy thing was crossing off things that couldn't possibly have happened, rather like a BBC news story about what an unreleased report wouldn't be telling us. So I set about this task...
Had I got into a fight? Nah, I don't fight.
Had I pulled a woman? Nah, (a) fat chance & (b) My bed was empty this morning.
Had I pulled a man?
Nah, see (b) above.
I'm running out of ideas here, What was it? FFS! Still, physical incidents accounted for, I must have said something to someone so what was it and to whom?
Right then! Get the tapes for 10:30PM to 12:00PM last night and make it snappy.
Oh bugger, someone forgot to rewind them, I'd better watch it on fast rewind to get to the pertinent point.
Hits button...
Hmmmm, this bit's blank, must have been asleep.
Oh no, not another McDonalds for tea, must really stop doing that, I'll get fat.
Okay, outside now, right, Liverpool Street, a bit further back....
Right here we are, the pub.
Oh! I was talking to the barmaid, she looks a bit perplexed, better switch to play so I can get the sound....
Here we are,
Not much of the pint left, time to go soon.
Looks outside, yuck! it's raining and cold.
Me: Don't like the look of it out there.
BM: It's okay for you, you only live around the corner. It takes me 45 minutes to get home.
Me: What? 45 minutes, good grief!
BM: Yeah, and I've got to be back first thing in the morning.
Me: It's hardly worth the effort of going home.
BM: I know.
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
WTF! Did I just say that? Please god! tell me I didn't.
STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
Aaargh! No wonder she's looking at me like I've just grown two heads! FFS she's 20 years younger than me, must think I'm a right pervert. I can't bear to watch this anymore.
- CLICK! -
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod
Dare I ever go for a drink after work again?
Oh the shame of it!
It's not unusual (well for me anyway) to wake up the morning after a night in the pub with some nebulous but nagging feeling that something, somehow had gone wrong the night before. This morning was one of those occasions. It was with some degree of concern that I pondered what I had done to be embarrassed about this time, but couldn't quite put my finger on it.
As the morning wears on, as is the way with alcohol, my brain is gradually drip feeding me snippets of detail regarding where I was, what (apart from drinking) I was doing and whom I was drinking with. Now, the vast majority of this information is thoroughly mundane and for precisely this reason had been archived to secondary storage in some backwater of my brain and as with all good archival companies the fine detail was taking time to arrive on the van as it were.
The puzzling thing was that despite now having copious amounts of information about the Olympics coverage on the pub TV and some strange but nonetheless entertaining bike courier that I had chatted to about motorcycle accidents for an hour or so, I still couldn't work out why I should be feeling so uncomfortable.
Now for a bit of background. I work in London, and am such a profoundly lazy person that I insist that if I am to work in the City, then I live in the City. It is much the same with anywhere I get a contract really, live close and adopt a pub equidistant from the office and home as a local. My latest contract seems to have dragged on for some time and due to my fondness for a drink and aversion to sitting at home watching the drivel on TV, I've spent rather alot of time in my local. So much so that I know all the staff by first name, get priority service at the bar, get invited to partake of the landlords' delivery food after time and get credit without any visible means of repayment. "Not bad", you may think, but this still doesn't solve my problem, just what had I done to warrant such unease regarding the said drinking establishment?
The easy thing was crossing off things that couldn't possibly have happened, rather like a BBC news story about what an unreleased report wouldn't be telling us. So I set about this task...
Had I got into a fight? Nah, I don't fight.
Had I pulled a woman? Nah, (a) fat chance & (b) My bed was empty this morning.
Had I pulled a man?
Nah, see (b) above. I'm running out of ideas here, What was it? FFS! Still, physical incidents accounted for, I must have said something to someone so what was it and to whom?
Right then! Get the tapes for 10:30PM to 12:00PM last night and make it snappy.
Oh bugger, someone forgot to rewind them, I'd better watch it on fast rewind to get to the pertinent point.
Hits button...
Hmmmm, this bit's blank, must have been asleep.
Oh no, not another McDonalds for tea, must really stop doing that, I'll get fat.
Okay, outside now, right, Liverpool Street, a bit further back....
Right here we are, the pub.
Oh! I was talking to the barmaid, she looks a bit perplexed, better switch to play so I can get the sound....
Here we are,
Not much of the pint left, time to go soon.
Looks outside, yuck! it's raining and cold.
Me: Don't like the look of it out there.
BM: It's okay for you, you only live around the corner. It takes me 45 minutes to get home.
Me: What? 45 minutes, good grief!
BM: Yeah, and I've got to be back first thing in the morning.
Me: It's hardly worth the effort of going home.
BM: I know.
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
WTF! Did I just say that? Please god! tell me I didn't. STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
Aaargh! No wonder she's looking at me like I've just grown two heads! FFS she's 20 years younger than me, must think I'm a right pervert. I can't bear to watch this anymore.
- CLICK! -
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod
Dare I ever go for a drink after work again?
Oh the shame of it!
BliarOut said:
What did she say????
Erm, well, I don't think it was, "Yes", but my cringe filter cut in just after that fatal statement and I'm having trouble retrieving the rest of the data. The only thing I can say without fear of being wrong is that I didn't get a slap, well I don't think so anyway, not that I deserved one because it was a totally innocent offer. It was meant in much the same way as any offer of putting up for the night that I'd make to a work colleague after a night on the beer. It...just...didn't sound like...that. I guess I'm going to have to tough it out after work and see how much offence it caused.
I think the main problem here is how to deal with the matter. Let's face it, I can't undo what I said and have no idea of (a) What she thinks I meant, or (b) what she thinks about what she thinks I meant, or (c) What she'd think about what I actually meant if she didn't think that I meant that actually. 
Any suggestions?
Do I just act dumb? shouldn't be too hard!
Any suggestions?
Do I just act dumb? shouldn't be too hard!
If you ignore her she will be offended.
If you go in and say "boy, was I lashed last night - I could have said anything stupid to anyone" she will be offended.
If you say "sorry about last night and all that, didn't mean it" she will be offended.
If you say "actually I really like you - it just took a drink for me to be able to say so" she will be offended and think you are a pervert.
Looks like fatboy takeaways and tinnys for a while now
(ps, have you sniffed the old chap today just in case you actually did a Flashman as it is now called?)
If you go in and say "boy, was I lashed last night - I could have said anything stupid to anyone" she will be offended.
If you say "sorry about last night and all that, didn't mean it" she will be offended.
If you say "actually I really like you - it just took a drink for me to be able to say so" she will be offended and think you are a pervert.
Looks like fatboy takeaways and tinnys for a while now
(ps, have you sniffed the old chap today just in case you actually did a Flashman as it is now called?)
TeamD said:
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
STOP...REWIND...PLAY
Me: You could stay at my place if you like.
Aaargh! No wonder she's looking at me like I've just grown two heads! FFS she's 20 years younger than me, must think I'm a right pervert. I can't bear to watch this anymore.
- CLICK! -
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod
Dare I ever go for a drink after work again?
Oh the shame of it!
I'd have sealed the deal.
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