A letter to cats and dogs
Discussion
Apolgies if a repost...
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a queen-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also think that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom alone for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door.
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1 They live here. You don't
2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3 I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4 To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a queen-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also think that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom alone for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door.
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1 They live here. You don't
2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3 I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4 To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
That's brilliant!
On the subject of cats - has anyone ever seen anything as bizarre and (IMO), cruel as this?!
www.bonsaikitten.com
On the subject of cats - has anyone ever seen anything as bizarre and (IMO), cruel as this?!
www.bonsaikitten.com
paulie-mafia said:
That's brilliant!
On the subject of cats - has anyone ever seen anything as bizarre and (IMO), cruel as this?!
www.bonsaikitten.com
that did the rounds a couple of years back and caused serious outrage
Nick P said:
That's brilliant!
On the subject of cats - has anyone ever seen anything as bizarre and (IMO), cruel as this?!
www.bonsaikitten.com
that did the rounds a couple of years back and caused serious outrage
As far as I am aware it's just a website designed to cause a reaction. Nothing real about it at all, although there probably were some blithering idots who tried it.
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