Wayhay! Shafted a brace O' muggers today.
Discussion
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.
On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two
blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.
In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
F
IT, I feel quite pleased with meself!
On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two
blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road. Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.
In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
F
IT, I feel quite pleased with meself!tuttle said:
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.
On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Twoblokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.
In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
FIT, I feel quite pleased with meself!
Great story

Pat H said:
gingerpaul said:Nah, he's just used reasonable force to defend himself and his property against two men who were committing an attempted robbery.
Echo the comments about removing the story though. Although unlikely, stranger things have happened than prosecution based on forum posts.
I agree, perfectly legit, if he had stuck around and layed the boot in a few times while they were on the ground then it would be another story.
tuttle said:
.
On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Twoblokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.
And that M'Lud concludes the case for the defense

Rob_F said:
I'd take it off the internet sharpish mate, i know it's unlikely that you'll be charged for assault but much stranger things have happened....
Welling Done Though
Surely, unless either creep #1 or #2 actually lodge some kind of formal complaint, this is all technically just hearsay & could be argued that it was 'just for entertainment'. Or at least something like that, you know the kind of thing thats written on the packaging of replica guns or laser jammers etc.
Cheers all for the kind words.
btw I'm not even remotely tough.
tuttle said:
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.
On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Twoblokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.
In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
FIT, I feel quite pleased with meself!
Glad to see someone prepared to fight back. I admire you.
The fact that the brake lever caught him in the face as you were trying to retrieve the bike from his pulling, clutching hands is a shame. People might think that you, heaven forbid, had actually wanted to hurt the poor deprived individual.
But just remember to tell the cops that if they ask why you hurt him!
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff






wish I'd thought of that! 
ing Done Though
) 
ing Done Though