Beetlejoy - praise Das Fernmeister!!!
Discussion
Dare I? Should I begin to believe that the oddysey's chapters are all but done?
On Tuesday, Al from Weltmeister dropped the car off and until the last hour, time for the requisite anvil flattening simply hadn't presented itself.
Tonight, work finally done with, the roads for the first time in several days seem dry; the atmosphere a most emphatically turbo friendly temperature...
The great man, Andy 'My Lord & Master' Fearns had just about reached that point with Projekt Beetle where, despite yielding quite the most fabulous power yields (in theory and practice), my overbearing requests for what probably didn't exist viz a vis a broadly road bourne, quasi racer-cum-GT time smelter with hint of M5 refinement, had him almost reaching for the towel and a recommendation altogether starting with a 9 but finishing in a 6...
However, something kept his spirit of optimism true and, burning several vats of midnight oil and undergoing hypnotic regression in an attempt to recall theories past learnt, now buried deep in the subconscious, Andy implored me to keep faith with ol' beetle pants and let him try something.
Out, would go the horrible, single mass flywheel, replaced by Lexus's very own dual jobbie, as first designed for the car launched all those years ago...
...and also, apparently, as used by one or two of the finer connoisuers occupying the Holy 993GT2 cognoscenti's firmament. We would retain the GT2 plate itself and Andy would perform various other hybridisations best left to people familiar with Swarfega and walls adorned by artistic impressions of plentiful, female mammilla.
Simultaneously, Andy was to reinstall the rear parcel shelf, seats, carpets and various swathes of (admittedly mild but quite essential) sound deadening material.
Because what Andy was doing was quite unique: he had tuned into my idiosyncratic desires for the damn thing. He knew instinctively, almost before me, myself, what was needed for this slightly softer edged style of motorised marauding.
And the results have just been sampled.
ABSOLUTELY F@CKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The steering cack which has been blighting the whole experience for over 3 years has entirely gone: ok, it's hardly M5/RS Audi inert but during fleeting sufferance of urban speed limit obedience, it's just so damn smooth: the clutch and lever action just oh-so slick, so immediate, so precise, so vibration free!
For the first time in years, a chavular Nova crew were allowed to scream off from some traffic lights, my newfound buttered clutch set-up utterly soporific to my pysche: I let him go and then, in a fashion befitting my Lord Russe, applied only moderate throttle, hoovering up the ground to the target, alongside at the minibout and swoosh, a 3rd gear waltzer whirl through, round, out & away...oh boy, this is The Quickening and no mistake!
Firing up the double dual carriageway past Big Sam's office, it was time to hit my desk, all three lanes of it...God, this feels good...
Nothing quite prepares you for this thing: I spend all week tooling around in a near 1800 kilo performance barge which sure, feels sublimely weighted and really quite fast enough.
But it just isn't: the last time a vehicle deceived me of such easy schnellerkraut quite so ridiculously, I think the view outside was colonial and about 35,000 ft below.
By Thetis's crushed grape, this was motoring: between flashes of Tony Iommi's sharper axewerk (the rear speakers now blisfully reconnected) and my uncontrollable jibbery whoopsqueal, I felt nothing short of sheer bemusement at the figures being dialled up, commensurate with the vocal approval of darts' afficianados when in truth, I was not even fully attacking. All the while, the helm bereft of harshness, indeed, the steering dialling up copious feel and tactility just so right for the job at hand.
If anything, the pressing need for more downforce afore was crystallised and splitters, even if they do only add 10kgs of airbourne lard are now firmly on the agenda.
Duly enchanted, the beetle was pulled over and rang the magician responsible: we had arrived and frankly, I was euphoric - Andy had built me the car I'd always wanted...truly, deeply, incredible.
There are still a couple of minor tweaks needed: the 4wd system clearluy can cope with the monster torque but we'd better get the Carillo rods in quicksticks: running at circa 550bhp is just about the limit and sooner or later Kansas will go bye-bye: however, this fairly minor adaption and a little more spit and polish should get the black 'un up to a faintly ludicrous 570bhp and cope with sustained slugs of what 1.3-1.4 bar boost?
But for now, the eagle has finally landed. I can go to bed knowing that I finally have my perfect car, driveable and grotesquely warpy.
To Mr Fearns,
, 
& the first 
's on me!
Fantastic stuff!
Thanks Der for the write up, your comedic talents must not go unrewarded.
As for the car...well it sounds a fantastic machine and I'm delighted that it's giving you the experience you seemingly have yearned for for some time.
Looking forward to seeing the both of you on Sunday.
Steve
Thanks Der for the write up, your comedic talents must not go unrewarded.
As for the car...well it sounds a fantastic machine and I'm delighted that it's giving you the experience you seemingly have yearned for for some time.
Looking forward to seeing the both of you on Sunday.
Steve
derestrictor said:
The great man, Andy 'My Lord & Master' Fearns had just about reached that point with Projekt Beetle...
good. he might have time to nail the baron back together now!
derestrictor said:
However, something kept his spirit of optimism true
i think you'll find that was probably all the glue used on the sound deadening
have fun
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