Inside the mind of a numpty.....
Discussion
For the last couple of weeks, the company I work for has been doing some alterations to an office of a local Solicitors office in the town I live in.
So, I spent 8 hours a day for a fortnight in this office. The office is a local, 'out-post' type office which is manned from 10-5 by a secretary, and occasionally the odd solicitor will come in for appointments etc.
Last wednesday I was sitting at lunch time eating my Chicken Mayonaise Roll and reading the papers (I usually buy the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun to see just how much shit they can come up with in 24hrs
) and I was stunned when I read a "Scottish Sun Exclusive" about a new born baby who has a 5 inch slash across her forehead because the surgeon cut her with his scalpel whilst performing an 'out the sun roof' birth (
sorry, I can't spell it's real name). And I got talking to the secretary about it, and she started droning on about her recent trip to aberdeen. This is where it gets interesting, she was talking about her journey back at night, and I'll try a recount what she said.
The road she is talking about being windy is the A737, which isn't exactly windy, is a normal cross country a road!
She was also talking about remembering where things are in her car, by it's colour. Her family has two cars, a red one and a blue one, and she remembers which side of the wheel the indicator stalk is on by the colour of car.
When she gets it wrong she just stops!
Knowing that I was going to be in the office for the next week or so I has to resist the urge of shouting 'Numpty' at her repeatedly (which took a lot of doing I can tell you)
It scares me that people like that are allowed on the road!
So, I spent 8 hours a day for a fortnight in this office. The office is a local, 'out-post' type office which is manned from 10-5 by a secretary, and occasionally the odd solicitor will come in for appointments etc.
Last wednesday I was sitting at lunch time eating my Chicken Mayonaise Roll and reading the papers (I usually buy the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun to see just how much shit they can come up with in 24hrs
) and I was stunned when I read a "Scottish Sun Exclusive" about a new born baby who has a 5 inch slash across her forehead because the surgeon cut her with his scalpel whilst performing an 'out the sun roof' birth ( sorry, I can't spell it's real name). And I got talking to the secretary about it, and she started droning on about her recent trip to aberdeen. This is where it gets interesting, she was talking about her journey back at night, and I'll try a recount what she said.
I don't mind the fast bits on the motorway, but I hate coming off that onto the windy bits, you've got your high beam on, your trying to see the white line and follow it, everytime a car comes round a corner you have to try and find the high beam thing to switch it off. All the cars behind have got it easy because they are just following me, I have to try and find the road
The road she is talking about being windy is the A737, which isn't exactly windy, is a normal cross country a road!
She was also talking about remembering where things are in her car, by it's colour. Her family has two cars, a red one and a blue one, and she remembers which side of the wheel the indicator stalk is on by the colour of car.
When she gets it wrong she just stops!
Knowing that I was going to be in the office for the next week or so I has to resist the urge of shouting 'Numpty' at her repeatedly (which took a lot of doing I can tell you)
It scares me that people like that are allowed on the road!
That's right, children... only the natural blondes. 
Seeing as there is a suggestion of none PC discussion going on here I thought I'd add this :
I've done more than my usual amount of motorway driving for the past few weeks and without a radio so I started watching others road behaviour more carefully. On one strech of the M1 there were 6 cars all in the middle lane, the inside lane was empty. I bet myself that they were all women (based on previous experience). Every single on of those 6 (far too close to each other) was a lady driver. The inside lane was clear as far as the eye could see and the fast lane was quite busy.
I then started to look at every one in the middle lane when the inside lane was empty for the next 80 miles - the majority were women.
I was sticking to about 80-90 and you tend to find a similar bunch of cars doing the same speed. It was interesting watching them all - mostly the drivers at that speed observed lane disipline. When a car came behind that was faster the group of 5 we all moved over one way or another without problems. Then a BMW330Ci came hurtling down and was 2ft away from this Audi A4's bumper - I was in the middle lane so I could see all this happening. The A4 driver had been very courteous and generally aware but the 330Ci was incredibley agressive, broke hard because she (!) expected the A4 to vanish somehow. So then there was much heavy braking behind, the usual scenario. We'd been travelling for 50 miles in this bunch making fast'ish, safe progress until that point. We'd all gone over 100mph at certain times - ie when it was safe.
There were lots of smaller incidents along the same line and I'm sorry to say, women were the cause of the majority.
These are facts, not some "all women drivers are crap" rant.
Dan "waiting for some tirade about me being sexist"
I've done more than my usual amount of motorway driving for the past few weeks and without a radio so I started watching others road behaviour more carefully. On one strech of the M1 there were 6 cars all in the middle lane, the inside lane was empty. I bet myself that they were all women (based on previous experience). Every single on of those 6 (far too close to each other) was a lady driver. The inside lane was clear as far as the eye could see and the fast lane was quite busy.
I then started to look at every one in the middle lane when the inside lane was empty for the next 80 miles - the majority were women.
I was sticking to about 80-90 and you tend to find a similar bunch of cars doing the same speed. It was interesting watching them all - mostly the drivers at that speed observed lane disipline. When a car came behind that was faster the group of 5 we all moved over one way or another without problems. Then a BMW330Ci came hurtling down and was 2ft away from this Audi A4's bumper - I was in the middle lane so I could see all this happening. The A4 driver had been very courteous and generally aware but the 330Ci was incredibley agressive, broke hard because she (!) expected the A4 to vanish somehow. So then there was much heavy braking behind, the usual scenario. We'd been travelling for 50 miles in this bunch making fast'ish, safe progress until that point. We'd all gone over 100mph at certain times - ie when it was safe.
There were lots of smaller incidents along the same line and I'm sorry to say, women were the cause of the majority.
These are facts, not some "all women drivers are crap" rant.
Dan "waiting for some tirade about me being sexist"
danhf said: These are facts, not some "all women drivers are crap" rant.
Dan "waiting for some tirade about me being sexist"
OK then Dan, here it comes!!
I hate to disappoint!! I'd agree with you about the motorway behaviour to an extent - it seems to me that a lot of people who hang around in the middle lane (and outside lane of the A1M, Ms Golf driver!!!
) are female. But by no means all. What about the men who'd be driving brown Allegros if they still existed? Or the repmobiles, almost all driven by men, which never move over to let anyone pass "because they'll only have to move back in a minute"? Or the men who leap out to overtake trucks they can see half a mile away and force you to brake because they can't judge your speed and don't realise you could pass them safely and still allow them time to pull out to overtake? And as for aggressive outside-lane behaviour, I have yet to encounter major aggression from a woman... Your experience there was typical of people who encounter rep BMWs, not women drivers. (Sorry to generalise, BMW drivers, but it's true! I know PHers wouldn't behave like this, but there are loads of reps who would...)
The point I'm trying to make is that numptyism comes in all shapes and sizes, from men and women alike. Tvradict's mail was alarming because it demonstrates that there are people on the roads who genuinely can't be trusted to control their cars safely. (I always wondered why it took some people so long to dip their beams...)
But it's not an almost-exclusively female problem. The overall problem is caused by a lack of compulsory retesting (random or otherwise) and a lack of basic car awareness among people who drive to get from A to B, not because they love it like we do. They don't much enjoy driving, so they don't bother with all the niceties such as working out where the main beam stalk is before they get into a car and drive. Dangerous? Yes. Stupid? Definitely. But a women-only problem? Absolutely not.
Edited for grammar now I'm awake.
>> Edited by SGirl on Sunday 19th January 10:05
Mmmmm -must admit this middle lane thing is really getting me down.....think some UK drivers need to spend some time in Germany and France to learn about lane discipline..........not just a woman thing either....they ALL do it.
I usually do most of my driving in the week, and rarely at weekends -but there is definitely a weekend 'numpty' stle of driving -aaaaaaargh! Thanx 4 oppurtunity to rant!!
I usually do most of my driving in the week, and rarely at weekends -but there is definitely a weekend 'numpty' stle of driving -aaaaaaargh! Thanx 4 oppurtunity to rant!!
I can only say whatI saw. This survey was taken over 4 journeys,each one about 250 miles each way.
Of course there are poor male drivers but the main culcripts (on Saturdays) were women.
Also - I agree with the Golf driving lady. There's a girl at work who drives it like she stole it whilst putting on make-up, changing shoes, finding gum in bag, etc, etc. I usually arrange to meet her there than go in her car.....
Of course there are poor male drivers but the main culcripts (on Saturdays) were women.
Also - I agree with the Golf driving lady. There's a girl at work who drives it like she stole it whilst putting on make-up, changing shoes, finding gum in bag, etc, etc. I usually arrange to meet her there than go in her car.....
danhf said: Of course there are poor male drivers but the main culcripts (on Saturdays) were women.
I think you may have a point there. Driving standards on weekends, particularly on motorways, are definitely lower - I've noticed that, too. Can't honestly say I've found it to be mainly women responsible for it, though - women, pensioners and young drivers (in the main, not in general!) all seem to have their part to play. As I said above - all people who drive because they have to go somewhere, not because they enjoy driving.
Hmmm.
>> Edited by SGirl on Sunday 19th January 10:10
MoJocvh said: Sorry to disagree SGirl, but the main problem is the complete unpredictability of the female (sic) driver.
On what basis do you found your views? Why are women drivers more unpredictable than, say, reps or pensioners? I'm not looking to start an argument, I'm genuinely interested in why you say women drivers are unpredictable. I thought what Dan was saying above about them hanging in middle lanes was demonstrating the opposite?
>> Edited by SGirl on Sunday 19th January 11:53
MoJocvh said: "I'm not looking to start an argument"
Neither am I, just presenting an opinion formed over the years.MoJo.
Fair enough. Any examples?
I agree with you on unpredictable drivers though (of either sex!). Nothing worse than some maniac doing something totally unexpected on the roads. My instructor once told me never to expect anything from other drivers, and while it's easy to fall into the complacency trap I have to admit he was right. You do always have to be prepared for the unexpected.
Generally speaking, on a 3 lane motorway the traffic segregates into the lorries/slowcoaches left, the 70-80 mph brigade middle, the faster lot right. There are also the "specials" - true numpties - who stay in the middle lane ALL the time, and never dare overtake.
As for me - the older I get, the more radical my driving. My residual life expectancy is just too short to be patient any more. I am by no means proud of it, but I undertake more and more because it's better than my EXPLODING in fury or getting a heart attack. Yesterday on a 2 lane motorway there was a row of lorries doing around 60, being overtaken by a bus doing 63. 200 yds between each lorry, but the bus refused to pull over. Rather than biting so many chunks out of the steering wheel that I wouldn't have been able to steer, I undertook.
I'm not proud of it - perhaps I'm the numpty?
Rgds, WalterU
>> Edited by WalterU on Sunday 19th January 12:55
As for me - the older I get, the more radical my driving. My residual life expectancy is just too short to be patient any more. I am by no means proud of it, but I undertake more and more because it's better than my EXPLODING in fury or getting a heart attack. Yesterday on a 2 lane motorway there was a row of lorries doing around 60, being overtaken by a bus doing 63. 200 yds between each lorry, but the bus refused to pull over. Rather than biting so many chunks out of the steering wheel that I wouldn't have been able to steer, I undertook.
I'm not proud of it - perhaps I'm the numpty?
Rgds, WalterU
>> Edited by WalterU on Sunday 19th January 12:55
I can't really say anything bad about woman drivers. Normally, a woman is more sensible than I am ond won't take the - calculated - risks that I, for instance, would take.
I find that driving capabilities are down to the level of experience/mileage - and her 'indoors doesn't have or get enough. My wife, for instance, will always let me drive because she prefers not to, especially at night. But in close to 25 years of marriage, I'm the one who has dented the wings, not my wife.
So please, no generalisations. If you guys got to drive as few miles as many women, you wouldn't be any better.
Rgds, WalterU
I find that driving capabilities are down to the level of experience/mileage - and her 'indoors doesn't have or get enough. My wife, for instance, will always let me drive because she prefers not to, especially at night. But in close to 25 years of marriage, I'm the one who has dented the wings, not my wife.
So please, no generalisations. If you guys got to drive as few miles as many women, you wouldn't be any better.
Rgds, WalterU
Gassing Station | General Gassing [Archive] | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff