Houx Camping Feng Shui Classes

[venom500]

This will be held on Fri morning at approx 6 am on the Houx camp site. I am offering advice about tent position to allow better "Ch`i" into your tent. Also to help improve hangovers you may find my "YIN&YANG" class helpful as this will give some insite into the corect positioning of beer mountains. The meeting will start off with the art of TONG WON, this will involve feeling at one with yourself,nature and understanding where to position dirty washing,underpants and the like,which can affect the positive ch`i flowing out of your tent and the oddour caused could cause very negative ch,i to the campers next to you. It will be an honour to share my many many years of Feng Shui with you all. I shall signal the start of the class by blowing of a male goat horn at 5.50am. If it proves as popular as I hope, I shall lay on a class for the Houx Annex campsite at a similar time on Sat morning, just listen for the goat horn at around 6am.

I look forward to your comments on this forum, this will help me get an idea of numbers.

[magic torch]

Unfortunately I'll still be on the Ferry at that time.

Will there be some kind of webcam live link-up?

[venom500]

magic torch said:

Unfortunately I'll still be on the Ferry at that time. Will there be some kind of webcam live link-up?

Sorry, but No, the radio waves would upset most of the positive Ch,i and upset my "Tong Won", and you can guess how that feels. I also need to make a point that ALL phones MUST be switched OFF and please no photo,s. But please feel free to photograph your new tent positions and interior after the class. Thank you . (The class will only last about 3 hours)

[magic torch]

That's a shame can you organise something for 17:00 on Saturday afternoon?

[venom500]

magic torch said:

That's a shame can you organise something for 17:00 on Saturday afternoon?

Well, if there seems to be a demand for it at this time I could lay on a special class. Thank you for your comments.

[DucatiGary]

venom500 said:

I shall signal the start of the class by blowing of a male goat

is that legal in france?

[magic torch]

DucatiGary said:

venom500 said: I shall signal the start of the class by blowing of a male goat is that legal in france?

Only in France, but you have to eat the female too.

>> Edited by magic torch on Tuesday 16th May 21:29

[DucatiGary]

sheesh, and I thought frogs legs and snails where things you really shouldnt eat.. .. .. .. .. ..


I got some learnin to do here.

[tucker20]

DucatiGary said:

venom500 said: I shall signal the start of the class by blowing of a male goat is that legal in france?

Yes but only the use of female goats is permited for said purpose, male goats may be used to end class but only on week days. Magic Torch - you should know that mate.

[venom500]

Please gentlemen, can we keep this thread in hand. I,m still looking for some interest in this and all people can do is go on about blowing goats ( you edited it!...it,s a male goat horn!) and frogs legs. I am offering a service to improve camp harmony and all you lot seem to be doing is taking the pi##.

Can i some constructive feed back please!

[Alex@POD]

I don't have a tent, can you do a class on how to park a car "properly" and release good vibes to calm down all the people i'm in the way of?

[worty]

Put me down for some of that.
Also fried rice and crispy won ton.

Do you deliver ?

[Viper]

is this class before or after you and the mrs jump on the handle of the wind-up world war2 air raid siren ???
either way I wouldnt want to be in the tent next door






>> Edited by Viper on Tuesday 16th May 22:13

[venom500]

Viper said:

is this class before or after you and the mrs jump on the handle of the wind-up world war2 air raid siren ??? either way I wouldnt want to be in the tent next door I have no idea what your talking about young man! >> Edited by Viper on Tuesday 16th May 22:13

[puffpuff]

I heard there was to be flower arranging classes too. Where do I sign up for these? I think the first one is at 5pm on the Saturday.

[ntel]

[quote=venom500]Please gentlemen, can we keep this thread in hand.

[quote]

You didn't say you were demonstating the ancient art of WHAN KING too.

[//j17]

Apart from "Don't site your paddling pool with the drain facing YOUR car/tent" and "Under a tree is NOT a good place to plant the fireworks before lighting them" what is there?

[corozin]

What's the feng-shui position regarding :
a) Beer bottle architecture?
b) Donut-ing SL55's in Houx Annex?
c) Vomiting in your swimming pool?

[nervous]

must we all expose our shakras at such an ungodly hour? for myself, it takes long enough to force them into this unitard such that getting them back out is more than a little irksome. and, therefore somewhat ironically, would up my chi.

is there any way in which i cant just get someone to deliver good energy to my tent? with perhaps a few little pastries and a handful of paracetamol.

[venom500]

I have spent weeks planning the classes for this years Le-Mans and your comments are and outrage! Please could the site moderator sin-bin anyone who isn,t going to give a constructive comment on this thread. In all my time on Pistonheads I have never been subjected to such rudness!
Now you,ve all had a laugh...please... serious enquires only, Thank You.














#ASTARDS