Majority rule returns

[simpo two]

Making my way home from a meeting today along some nice country roads, I was flashed by an oncoming vehicle. Lights on? No. Ah, I wonder if... next vehicle, another headlight flash. And another. Yep, there's defo somehting up ahead they're trying to warn me about. Flooded road? Nah. Accident? Maybe. But I wonder if... hmm.. I take my eyes off the road and start scanning for tin signs. A 30 limit looms. I slow to 28mph and hit the Cruise button; no fecker's going to get me for speeding now. Again: Speed: check. Tax disc: check. Mobile: Not being used. Anything else they can nail me for? Can't think of anything. Proceed through village with wariness that would befit a patrol in Afghanistan. Eyes scan left - right - left - Aha! A flash of yellow - a Plod with a hairdryer, stage left. Hands on wheel, look straight ahead, try to look intelligent. He doesn't look very happy; he's not even pointing his money-hoover at me; his arms are folded across his chest in resignation. His expression says 'The bastards are warning each other'.

I stifle a fake yawn as I trundle past. Made it - this time. Well done chaps, another mission completed safely.

However I'm more alert than usual. Here's the stretch of dual carriageway that used to be 70 and is now 50 - because some idiots can't manage to drive along it without crashing, so we all have to suffer. Entry speed camera - spotted. Proceed to exit speed camera - spotted. Normally, an dunderstandably as one os now faced with a perfectly healthy stretch of the Queen's Highway, one would put the toe down a bit. Whoa - what's that on the left? Small van with stripes on? Water board? AA? I'm not taking the chance. Back to 50. And there we are - a prime example of a scamera van at work. I catch the word 'partnership' scribbled on the side in a deceptively fluffy way. W***ker. I give him a burst of horn and wish they were twin Brownings.

Made it again. A charmed life. And all this stress and grief is paid for by me. Hurrah, not. If I refuse to pay they put me in prison. But at least the be-jackbooted public are helping each other again; a pleasant trait I thought was out of fashion. They can't take us all.

Final score: Simpo 2; Plod 0. Onto the next round. 'Them and us'? Damn right matey. Put the hairdryers away, go catch some criminals and let us honest folk get on with our lives.

[Nic Jones]

Try the 'open your boot' trick in front of the scamera van it pisses them off a treat.

[Boosted LS1]

And as we all know it's not an offence to flash oncoming motorists about a scam taxation site so long as you believe they weren't/aren't speeding and the partnership chaps can't see them speeding!

Flash away

Boosted.

[simpo two]

Nic Jones said:

Try the 'open your boot' trick in front of the scamera van it pisses them off a treat.

You mean with a big reflective sign inside that says 'GET A JOB'? The possibilities are endless

Actually, how much are you allowed to bait them before they note your number, send the boys round and make you write out 200 times 'I must not be rude to Plod'?

[gilberninvader]

Flashers of the world unite, p1ss the s-c-p's off good and right!

[gilberninvader]

simpo two said:

Nic Jones said:

Try the 'open your boot' trick in front of the scamera van it pisses them off a treat.

You mean with a big reflective sign inside that says 'GET A JOB'? The possibilities are endless

Actually, how much are you allowed to bait them before they note your number, send the boys round and make you write out 200 times 'I must not be rude to Plod'?

Except they're not usually plod but a profit making organisation!!
You are dead right in suggesting we all have every right to park in a layby, even more right than the scp's have.
Dont they need to get planning permission or something to operate a mobile business in our layby's?

[7db]

Is it my imagination, or are there more and more reports of policemen hiding with hairdryers these days.

[Boosted LS1]

simpo two said:

Nic Jones said:

Try the 'open your boot' trick in front of the scamera van it pisses them off a treat.

You mean with a big reflective sign inside that says 'GET A JOB'? The possibilities are endless

Actually, how much are you allowed to bait them before they note your number, send the boys round and make you write out 200 times 'I must not be rude to Plod'?

Think you'd be covered if you phoned the AA about a mysterious electrical or overheating problem that resolved itself How long would you want to sit there though?

Boosted.

[fid]

Had this on the way to work last week A kindly chap in a van flashed his lights at me, I trundle through the 30 at 20-25, plod and his merry old men all look at each other and shrug their shoulders.

They should be happy that we're not speeding past them...I'll be expecting a saulte next time.

[matchless]

I always take both hands off the wheel as after all I have been conditioned by American Movies and Wrongfull Anti Terrorist Raids etc to know better, I feel I have been "Conditioned" to respond in such a way!, and while both hands are off the wheel strangely the knees steer towards the "Gunmen" , mind you it is a valid excuse in Court to lose control due to sneezing isn't it?

[Nic Jones]

Having tried the 'open car boot game' could they do anything if I just went and stood in front of the window for a bit?

Now I'm back from Uni and havent bothered to sort my job out yet I'm feeling a bit mischeivious.

I fancy making a big sign and putting it up in front of them warning the motorists, good god the possibilities are endless......:rubshandswithglee:

[julianhj]

Nic Jones said:

Having tried the 'open car boot game' could they do anything if I just went and stood in front of the window for a bit?

Now I'm back from Uni and havent bothered to sort my job out yet I'm feeling a bit mischeivious.

I fancy making a big sign and putting it up in front of them warning the motorists, good god the possibilities are endless......:rubshandswithglee:

Careful with that. Sadly this sort of baiting can get you arrested for attempting to pervert the course of justice, or some such IIRC. It's just not cricket.

Edited by julianhj on Wednesday 28th June 07:56

[bluepolarbear]

gilberninvader said:

simpo two said:

[quote=Nic Jones]Try the 'open your boot' trick in front of the scamera van it pisses them off a treat.

They are plod - don't fall for the spin.

The police *ARE* the SCP and the van is likely to have a plod taking the money inside it thinking about how he is warm, dry, can read a paper all day, is not bothered with technicalities like formaing a prior opinion as he can just put the laser on auto and comparing it with what it used to be like when he did a meaningful job and had to walk the beat in all weathers.

[10 Pence Short]

Certainly in Cumbria the people operating the mobile units are trained civilians.

I would imagine purposely standing in the way of the camera would come under obsructing the Police or some such legislation.

[Yugguy]

I have to agree. When those kids on bikes are out terrorising the learners near us where are the police? They're all hiding behind a hedge on the A45.

[Prof Beard]

bluepolarbear said:

comparing it with what it used to be like when he did a meaningful job and had to walk the beat in all weathers.

Surely any plod that old will be retired by now?

[bryan35]

what i've found interesting is that Mr Hairdryer actually looks ANNOYED because you aren't speeding!. What's that about then?

[esselte]

10 Pence Short said:

Certainly in Cumbria the people operating the mobile units are trained civilians.

I would imagine purposely standing in the way of the camera would come under obsructing the Police or some such legislation.

Your two statements contradict each other,if the people in the van are civvies how can you be obstructing the police?

[FossilFuelled]

Boosted LS1 said:

And as we all know it's not an offence to flash oncoming motorists about a scam taxation site so long as you believe they weren't/aren't speeding and the partnership chaps can't see them speeding!

Flash away

Boosted.

Always flash your lights ! This should be compulsory, it's a way of warning other people of a hazardous area, isn't it ? (Correct me if I'm wrong scamera = danger)

[10 Pence Short]

esselte said:

10 Pence Short said:

Certainly in Cumbria the people operating the mobile units are trained civilians.

I would imagine purposely standing in the way of the camera would come under obsructing the Police or some such legislation.

Your two statements contradict each other,if the people in the van are civvies how can you be obstructing the police?

I would imagine because the civilians are acting on behalf of the Police? I was aware of the supposed contradiction in my sentence, but don't know whether obstructing the police is relevant with civvies.