New Driving Terminology
Author
Discussion

regmolehusband

Original Poster:

4,108 posts

285 months

Wednesday 19th February 2003
quotequote all
Times have changed. Councils and police are now enforcing speed limits that were set by a 60 year old woman thiry years ago. So........I though some new words might need to be added to our vocabulary to help us communicate our feelings and responses to speed limit enforcement. eg Numpty and talivan are two new words now widely used in here.

Please feel free to make alternative suggestions or come up with some new words yourself. Here's three for starters, I've hyphenated a couple to make them easier to pronounce

Lethardoze
The state of mind that a driver lapses into when forced to drive at a speed limit that is lower than the speed that he would otherwise be at ease with given his competence, type of car, the road characteristics and time of day.

Hyper-opt-neglectia
Despite driving at a safe and appropriate speed, the induced habit of maintaining a long-distance focus with eyes darting to left and right, to corners of bridges, behind signposts and way down the road trying to spot the camera or white van to the detriment of hazard perception.

Van-scrote-nervosa
Despite driving at a safe and appropriate speed upon spotting a distant white van parked adjacent to the road, the momentary induced panic to check your speed, to verify that you are actually in the speed limit that you thought you were, to assess the impact on any vehicles behind you of any braking that might be required, combined with the realisation that it’s probably too late anyway!


Does anybody have any new words that might describe the following?

The compelling desire to check and recheck the speedometer on the approach to a speed camera or talivan to the detriment of observation, anticipation and planning.

The compelling desire to look in the rear and side view mirror for a double flash as you pass the speed camera to the detriment of forward observation


I'm sure somebody will be inclined to argue why the above shouldn't be necessary but I believe I'm describing every day real life situations.

victormeldrew

8,293 posts

305 months

Wednesday 19th February 2003
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I think you'll find these are examples of an anxiety disorder. Best take a large dose of mogadon, then drive everywhere at exactly the speed limit with a fixed gaze and glazed expression.

bob the planner

4,695 posts

297 months

Wednesday 19th February 2003
quotequote all

victormeldrew said: I think you'll find these are examples of an anxiety disorder. Best take a large dose of mogadon, then drive everywhere at exactly the speed limit with a fixed gaze and glazed expression.


unfortunately I do not drive a 4x4

kevinday

13,770 posts

308 months

Thursday 20th February 2003
quotequote all


The compelling desire to check and recheck the speedometer on the approach to a speed camera or talivan to the detriment of observation, anticipation and planning.


speedo-optimetria deficiency syndrome



The compelling desire to look in the rear and side view mirror for a double flash as you pass the speed camera to the detriment of forward observation



rearviewflash hysteria

JMGS4

8,908 posts

298 months

Thursday 20th February 2003
quotequote all

kevinday said:


The compelling desire to look in the rear and side view mirror for a double flash as you pass the speed camera to the detriment of forward observation



rearviewflash hysteria




Naah, blitzophobia........