Tailgating moron!!
Tailgating moron!!
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br d

Original Poster:

9,072 posts

256 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
This has just happened and I'm a bit hopped up so forgive the slightly breathless prose.
I'm coming home along the dual carraigeway, it's raining, dark and stop start traffic. The car behind, a Cherokee Jeep I later discover, is so close to me it's indecent. Now I know we have to get used to idiots doing this but this really was dangerous, it looked like his headlights were inside the bloody car! After a while I switched into the other lane to be rid of him but he accelerates across and sits right back on my arse. Another half a mile and I change lanes again, so does he, still 6 inches behind me. One touch of the brakes unexpectedly and there's going to be a collision.
I'm getting effed off with this now. I go around the roundabout and head up towards where I live and he comes along too. It's single lane now and he's just inches off my rear. I just thought "enough of this bullshit!" so going up the hill I just let the car naturally slow down until I stop. I put on the handbrake, turn off the engine and get out. You could barely put a fag packet between us. I go up to his window. He's about my age (early forties), crop, tattoo's, a bit pitbull looking with a woman in the passenger seat. His window is open and he instantly starts slagging me off:
"WHAT'S YOUR F**KING PROBLEM W***ER!! CAN'T YOU F**KING DRIVE YOUR F**KING CAR!!!"
Now I need to point out that I'm pretty slight and not at all aggressive but I've just had enough of this tw*t! I notice straight away that even though he's got all the mouth he's actually leaning away from the window, he thinks I'm going to bang him, and to my complete surprise he's right! I'm thinking "Come on d*ckhead just a couple of inches this way!". Anyway, I realise that would be a pretty stupid thing to do then I have a sudden thought, his engine is still running and he's probably in gear so he could still shunt me, so I lean in (he backs away even more!!!) and turn of the ignition and pull out his bunch of keys!!! Then I turn around and throw them as hard as I can into the churchyard opposite!!" It's pitch dark and p*ssing down and I just walk back to my car and drive off! Him and his missus are both screaming at me and I'm grinning like an idiot!
Mate that was a real buzz!
If only life could be like this everyday!!!

br d

cayman-black

13,265 posts

246 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
very brave, and very well done! what an ar..hole.

br d

Original Poster:

9,072 posts

256 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
You know cayman I don't think it was bravery, I'd had a crappy day and things on my mind, sometimes things just get too much don't they?
Stupidity probably, the car could have been full of nutters, but I got away with it and I'm still grinning!!!

br d

lynchygt3

122 posts

242 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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i get this (not the following bit i just put my foot down) but round town etc and i just put my indicator on and slowly pull to a stop at the side of the road and wait till he overtakes then pull straight back out he then no's he's a tit and every one else does works a treat and never comes to blow's shoot or even word's argue as yet anyway

nearly forgot when he goes past give him the what the hell's wrong with your life boy sort it out look, you no the one bandit

Edited by lynchygt3 on Thursday 5th October 20:57

guyvert1

2,161 posts

272 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
hahahaha, funny as F^&k, I had similar with builders van, but when I got out, so did 2 big lumps out the back, embarrasingly but wisely I legged it and took another way home driving

sundiver

780 posts

267 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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I do exactly the same. Too close, indicate, stop, let them past and straight out again - they then know they've been annoying - I've also twice had people apologise on those coincidental occasions when they've ended up having the exact same destination as me.

Nevertheless, must have been satisfying!

roygarth

2,674 posts

278 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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LOL. Absolutely brilliant, well done.

lynchygt3

122 posts

242 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
guyvert1 said:
hahahaha, funny as F^&k, I had similar with builders van, but when I got out, so did 2 big lumps out the back, embarrasingly but wisely I legged it and took another way home driving



ha ha did the van's suspension rise about 2 feet when they jumped out i'd have been away to

magic torch

5,781 posts

252 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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Had some censoreding tailgater dent nearly every panel on my Integrale once when we stopped at traffic lights. The Porker seems to attract more of them.

Now I just pull over and let 'em past. Just not worth it, only need one nutter with a knife, or worse...



Nice story though. hehe

vr6-er

2,248 posts

270 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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quality

graeme73s

7,227 posts

247 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
quotequote all
br d you are a top man

burriana

16,556 posts

284 months

Thursday 5th October 2006
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Lucky I'd call it!

but ultimately very satisfying yes

911fan

438 posts

290 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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Someone did that to me all the way from Milton Keynes on the M1 to Luton and I was in my VW Golf!! After trying to get out of the driver's way in every lane many times, I did a stupid thing by just crawling to a complete standstill in the first lane...she crapped it and sped off. ( yes it was a she)

When sufficiently angered and threatened, it's amazing what we can be provoked to do. Something that we would never even ordinarily contemplate doing, we end up doing in an instant.

The person in the right can often come out worse off.

After imagining the consequences of what could have happened from my stupid reaction, I promised myself that I would keep anger and driving seperate. Still trying in the 997. Hard.

Zanderman

1,109 posts

242 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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Superb mate!!! Lucky it didnt end in a fight but superb non the less!!

I have recently joined Porsche ownership and am also getting this kind of treatment and starting to get really pissed off with it. Cant see it being too long before some one gets the beating they deserve!!

Don

28,378 posts

314 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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Lucky there wasn't a nutter in the Jeep.

The best place for a tailgater is a mile in front or a mile behind. Pick whichever one is quickest and safest to achieve. Usually this means getting them past you as quickly as possible.

kleonard

767 posts

254 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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i get that a bit with my gt2.... sometimes you get people following you to see were the car lives... thankfully i live up the mountains.. so i just put the foot down nand drop them... you should just brake tested them and pulled away...and watch their faces as he jams on..

Don

28,378 posts

314 months

Friday 6th October 2006
quotequote all
kleonard said:
you should just brake tested them and pulled away...


And have the guy run into the back of your P&J? NEVER "brake test"...so what if its their fault...don't you want to keep your car in one piece?

Marki

15,763 posts

300 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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911fan said:

( yes it was a she)



Over here it seems like the women are the worst offenders for tailgating

verysideways

10,271 posts

302 months

Friday 6th October 2006
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You see i always find the best "brake test" is the one where you just hit the brake pedal enough (with your left foot) for the brake lights to come on, having already changed down and held your speed with the right foot.

That way, because they are SO close, as soon as they see the brake lights they don't have time to wait for the retardation they simply have to slam anchors - at the same time you are actually accelerating away from them (but still with your brake lights on).

Have to agree, while i'd love to have done what you did the potential for serious problems is great so i think the best way to dispatch these idiots is to let them past or to put your foot down and disappear. It's so rare that this kind of driver is in anything that could keep up with a 911 (or similar) anyway...

magic torch

5,781 posts

252 months

Friday 6th October 2006
quotequote all
verysideways said:
You see i always find the best "brake test" is the one where you just hit the brake pedal enough (with your left foot) for the brake lights to come on, having already changed down and held your speed with the right foot.


Yep, providing there's nothing tailgating them, I brush the brake pedal with my left foot, just enough for the brake light to come on.

The ones that just don't get it, or if I've got my kids in the back, I pull over to let them past.