Cerbera vs Honda Jazz
Discussion
Forgive what I fear is going to be a long rambling post....I have the day off work, I'm bored, Cerbless, and confused!! Also I'm not happy! Up until 24 hours ago I was a commited Cerb fan - and I know in my heart I still am, but recent events appear to have upset my normally happy and irrational mind, and I need help from you fellow Cerb owners to put me back on Track and cure my insanity.
My father visited me at the weekend, and on Monday instead of me taking him out in the Cerb to show him what it would do, I had to take it to 'hospital' to have a new clutch Slave Cylinder fitted. The Cerb hospital is 80 miles away so my old man drove up in his Jazz so he could bring me back. Now just to give some background to this story, my Dad was wth me this weekend because my Mum has just spent £650 on week awy to Hong Kong for a quick break - the relevance of this will come clear later.
I set off just before my Dad, and we agreed not to keep together, as he didnt fancy trying to keep up witha Cerb, and I didnt want to be dragged down to his speed.
I arrived at Euphoria Racing first after a reasonably quick blast of a drive, apart from the roadworks and 2 Safety Camera vans (Bless them, they really do try and look after us dont they). So I settled down to have a coffee and a chat and wait for the old boy to catch up, Well F**k me he arrived 5 minutes later before I had time to make a coffee!!
My old mans 75 now, and an 85 mile journey in one day is enough for him, so I reluctantly agreed to drive the boring Jazz noddy car home, I mean it's a 1.4 auto, and it's only about 8 foot long, and I'm 6, and hate being crapld up when driving. Well blow me down, once I was inside it, it magically turned into a 20 foot long limo, with more space and legrom than the Cerb, and a cracking little car to drive. Sat happily on the Motorway at 85, went along the bendy A roads with no fuss or drama, and I thorougly enjoyed it. When it came to overtaking, if I as in the Cerb, I would have looked ahead, found a clear stretch and floored it, and gone past 5 cars and thought "Wow, what a car, this is what its all about" In the Jazz, I floored it and can only get past one car, but it's still a sense of achievement, just a different magnitude. The point I am making (in my current state of insanity) is that on the Race track the Jazz would obviously be the most boring car in the world to drive, the Cerb would be a hoot. But on the public roads we have here, wwith traffic jams, road works, speed cameras etc etc, it's hard to get the enjoyment from the Cerb. The similarity between the 2 cars is also interesting. The Cerb doesnt have to prove anything, most other other drivers know theres no point trying to race it, you can drive it at 70 and it still looks good and earns respect. If you drive something like a Golf GTi, you still have to prove something, it's sort of in the middle of the performance league, not blisterngly quick, but neither is it slow, but you still have to drive it fast just to show the slower cars, and then be prepared to be embarrassed by the faster cars. With the Jazz, just like the Cerb, you dont have to probe anything, no one expects it to be quick, so no one tries to race you, and you dont have to drive it hard to try and prove something,
So back to the Cerb, whilst I'm having the Slave cylinder done, I've also asked them to set the engine up and do the tappets, and the wiper motor which packed up in the torrential rain on the M40, (Why do Cerb Wiper motors only work when it isnt raining?) so I'll probably end up with a bill getting on for a grand, £350 more than a week away in Hong Kong. The little Jazz also did 48mpg on the way back - yes it even has a friggin trip computer that does all sorts of things - "Oh, you mean your Cerb doesnt have one Son?" - Grrrr, and as we pulled up at home, my Dad says to me "See, this is what you need Alan, never goes wrong and only costs me £200 a year to service", and I wanted so much to say 'Yeah, but its S**T to drive, but it wasn't hmmmmm, I can see his point somehow
Help me Guys, put me back on the straight and narrow !! Will this insanity last long? Has anyone else suffered from it? Is it curable?
My father visited me at the weekend, and on Monday instead of me taking him out in the Cerb to show him what it would do, I had to take it to 'hospital' to have a new clutch Slave Cylinder fitted. The Cerb hospital is 80 miles away so my old man drove up in his Jazz so he could bring me back. Now just to give some background to this story, my Dad was wth me this weekend because my Mum has just spent £650 on week awy to Hong Kong for a quick break - the relevance of this will come clear later.
I set off just before my Dad, and we agreed not to keep together, as he didnt fancy trying to keep up witha Cerb, and I didnt want to be dragged down to his speed.
I arrived at Euphoria Racing first after a reasonably quick blast of a drive, apart from the roadworks and 2 Safety Camera vans (Bless them, they really do try and look after us dont they). So I settled down to have a coffee and a chat and wait for the old boy to catch up, Well F**k me he arrived 5 minutes later before I had time to make a coffee!!
My old mans 75 now, and an 85 mile journey in one day is enough for him, so I reluctantly agreed to drive the boring Jazz noddy car home, I mean it's a 1.4 auto, and it's only about 8 foot long, and I'm 6, and hate being crapld up when driving. Well blow me down, once I was inside it, it magically turned into a 20 foot long limo, with more space and legrom than the Cerb, and a cracking little car to drive. Sat happily on the Motorway at 85, went along the bendy A roads with no fuss or drama, and I thorougly enjoyed it. When it came to overtaking, if I as in the Cerb, I would have looked ahead, found a clear stretch and floored it, and gone past 5 cars and thought "Wow, what a car, this is what its all about" In the Jazz, I floored it and can only get past one car, but it's still a sense of achievement, just a different magnitude. The point I am making (in my current state of insanity) is that on the Race track the Jazz would obviously be the most boring car in the world to drive, the Cerb would be a hoot. But on the public roads we have here, wwith traffic jams, road works, speed cameras etc etc, it's hard to get the enjoyment from the Cerb. The similarity between the 2 cars is also interesting. The Cerb doesnt have to prove anything, most other other drivers know theres no point trying to race it, you can drive it at 70 and it still looks good and earns respect. If you drive something like a Golf GTi, you still have to prove something, it's sort of in the middle of the performance league, not blisterngly quick, but neither is it slow, but you still have to drive it fast just to show the slower cars, and then be prepared to be embarrassed by the faster cars. With the Jazz, just like the Cerb, you dont have to probe anything, no one expects it to be quick, so no one tries to race you, and you dont have to drive it hard to try and prove something,
So back to the Cerb, whilst I'm having the Slave cylinder done, I've also asked them to set the engine up and do the tappets, and the wiper motor which packed up in the torrential rain on the M40, (Why do Cerb Wiper motors only work when it isnt raining?) so I'll probably end up with a bill getting on for a grand, £350 more than a week away in Hong Kong. The little Jazz also did 48mpg on the way back - yes it even has a friggin trip computer that does all sorts of things - "Oh, you mean your Cerb doesnt have one Son?" - Grrrr, and as we pulled up at home, my Dad says to me "See, this is what you need Alan, never goes wrong and only costs me £200 a year to service", and I wanted so much to say 'Yeah, but its S**T to drive, but it wasn't hmmmmm, I can see his point somehow
Help me Guys, put me back on the straight and narrow !! Will this insanity last long? Has anyone else suffered from it? Is it curable?
I do it with the Voyager, its easy to drive, quick for such a big car, and you can get in and start it and set off no bother. Petrol consumptions is about the same as the Cerb, as is the servicing costs.
But put me in the Cerb and the sheer enjoyment I get from driving it makes me wonder why I bother with the Voyager as often as I do, but then at 7.30 in the morning I can just get in the Voyager and go. And the dog doesn't fit in the Cerb
Swings and roundabouts I suppose.
But put me in the Cerb and the sheer enjoyment I get from driving it makes me wonder why I bother with the Voyager as often as I do, but then at 7.30 in the morning I can just get in the Voyager and go. And the dog doesn't fit in the Cerb
Swings and roundabouts I suppose.
I understand completely.
I had one as a courtesy car when the 'teg was in for a service a couple of years ago. Was expecting to be even more underwhelmed than I was by the Civics they usually give out.
But this was a hoot. Modest grip, lift-off oversteer around most roundabouts if you so desire, surprisingly decent feedback (not amazing, but miles better than the Civics), and a certain amount of 'poise'. I compared it to a modern take on Issigonis' Mini.
Don't get me wrong, I was glad to have the 'teg back. But it did make me think...
Solution: Cerb for fun, weekends, and whenever. Jazz for when it's torrential or when you need to transport luggage or adults in comfort. Seriously!
I had one as a courtesy car when the 'teg was in for a service a couple of years ago. Was expecting to be even more underwhelmed than I was by the Civics they usually give out.
But this was a hoot. Modest grip, lift-off oversteer around most roundabouts if you so desire, surprisingly decent feedback (not amazing, but miles better than the Civics), and a certain amount of 'poise'. I compared it to a modern take on Issigonis' Mini.
Don't get me wrong, I was glad to have the 'teg back. But it did make me think...
Solution: Cerb for fun, weekends, and whenever. Jazz for when it's torrential or when you need to transport luggage or adults in comfort. Seriously!
You are forgetting the whole point of the Cerbera, it's a penal extension! You are big, strong and better looking than David Beckham (even if you are not) and the cerb makes you feel a million dollars, when it's working! (a hoare when it's not!!!!)
So the Jazz...You pull into the garage to fill up, you do the deed and after paying you start to walk back to the Jazz and a gorgous blonde catches your eye!
Do you mean to tell me you wouldn't feel a t
t!!!!!!
Rest my case
So the Jazz...You pull into the garage to fill up, you do the deed and after paying you start to walk back to the Jazz and a gorgous blonde catches your eye!
Do you mean to tell me you wouldn't feel a tt!!!!!! Rest my case
When your baby isnt working to well, maybe in need of a little attention and a wad of money we all feel a little dejected.
But on the other hand when shes running sweet as a nut theres isnt anything better, when you put pedal to the metal, its like
all in one.
But on the other hand when shes running sweet as a nut theres isnt anything better, when you put pedal to the metal, its likeall in one. Edited by Neil P on Tuesday 10th October 18:14
Not sure the wife thinks its a penis extension when she's driving it... Just asked her and nope its not mmmmmmmm, unless she's looking for one??? 
The other half made me put my wedding ring back on when we got the cerb due to the reaction I was getting while driving through town. Not sure I would get the same reactions in a tin box!
The other half made me put my wedding ring back on when we got the cerb due to the reaction I was getting while driving through town. Not sure I would get the same reactions in a tin box!
Have a similar thing with the Smart. 80ish bhp(?) 730kilos, stupid looking - yet it shifts respectably, corners far better than people expect and will still do 45mpg when driven hard.
Worrying thing is that it has more steering feel than the Cerb... but its not comparable.
The Cerb is an event, in every way imaginable. I drove the Cerb at the weekend, after getting out of the Smart - it was just mental. I confess I did plant my foot straight to the floor as soon as it gained enough traction and I was properly scared as I snatched second. Its that kind of car, I never cease to be intimidated and in awe of it. Getting back in the smart, it was like driving without seven cylinders!
I can definately see the appeal of fun small cars, but no fleet is complete without a Cerb.
Worrying thing is that it has more steering feel than the Cerb... but its not comparable.
The Cerb is an event, in every way imaginable. I drove the Cerb at the weekend, after getting out of the Smart - it was just mental. I confess I did plant my foot straight to the floor as soon as it gained enough traction and I was properly scared as I snatched second. Its that kind of car, I never cease to be intimidated and in awe of it. Getting back in the smart, it was like driving without seven cylinders!
I can definately see the appeal of fun small cars, but no fleet is complete without a Cerb.
I think you should go with your feelings, Jensena - the thesis that you haven't quite synthesised (yet) is to have both a Cerbera and a Jazz. That way you can have the best of both worlds, each being a constant reinforcement of your perceptive perspective without either being a constant contradiction.
Edited by hut49 on Tuesday 10th October 20:34
i need a little help here, I was dead set on getting a S2 Elise but I've been looking longingly at the cerbera in the classifieds and they're after rattling me.
Problem: Wife wants something with a backseat, I couldn't care less, but can see her point if we ever have to take someone anywhere(?)
How is a cerb on fuel? Stupid question? Can you fit a baby seat in the back of a cerb? Another stupid question?
help me I'm in a dilemma, before I just had to choose the elise, now i dont know whether I'm coming or going (keep it clean!)
Problem: Wife wants something with a backseat, I couldn't care less, but can see her point if we ever have to take someone anywhere(?)
How is a cerb on fuel? Stupid question? Can you fit a baby seat in the back of a cerb? Another stupid question?
help me I'm in a dilemma, before I just had to choose the elise, now i dont know whether I'm coming or going (keep it clean!)
Yhanks guys, I'm feeling a lot better now, starting to understand my illness and coming to terms with it. I reckon I've even understood But49's advice, Get a Jazz and I'll appreciate the Cerbera even more, which will make me love the Jazz more, which will just serve to make me Love and want the Cerb even more, and so increase my love for the Jazz, which will make me want the Cerb more................my God I'll be in Heaven
PS But49 - Your secret is out, your really Stephen Fry arent you
PS But49 - Your secret is out, your really Stephen Fry arent you
My wife's been away the last week and I've been dropping the kids to school in her car, a 3-series diesel. A nice car.
We've been mad busy work-wise and I've been out in one of the vans, a 174BHP VW Transporter. A nice van.
Last weekend I took my kids and their friends to the cimema and to the bowling alley in the Skyline (I still havent got around to selling it). A cracking car.
This evening I took the Cerb to have the tracking and wheel alignment sorted on it and drove it back home along a fast twisty back road. WOW
What a blast.
What a TOY.
Remember, we'll all be dead for thousands of years.
The few we've got here shouldn't all be spent in a Jazz.
We've been mad busy work-wise and I've been out in one of the vans, a 174BHP VW Transporter. A nice van.
Last weekend I took my kids and their friends to the cimema and to the bowling alley in the Skyline (I still havent got around to selling it). A cracking car.
This evening I took the Cerb to have the tracking and wheel alignment sorted on it and drove it back home along a fast twisty back road. WOW
What a blast.
What a TOY.
Remember, we'll all be dead for thousands of years.
The few we've got here shouldn't all be spent in a Jazz.
jensena said:
PS But49 - Your secret is out, your really Stephen Fry arent you
I can imagine Stephen Fry doing just about anything but not sitting in front of PistonHeads of an evening
But perchance, by bringing Mr. Fry into the conversation you may have unwittingly stumbled upon the very nub of the dilemma facing the bipolar disorder motorist! Does a person with bipolar disorder (such as our dear Mr. Fry) buy a car for those phases when they're galloping along in the highest of high spirits or for when they are ravaged by the cyclical depths of the darkest depression? Maybe the Cerbera/Jazz duet provides the perfect harmony for the bipolar motorist?hut49 said:
Maybe the Cerbera/Jazz duet provides the perfect harmony for the bipolar motorist?
I said at the start of this thread that I feared I was sufferiing from some kind of physciatric disorder, and now the good Dr. But49 (aka Stephen Fry) has sadly cnfirmed this, however he has also offered me the salvation of a remedy and possibly a cure.But my immediate concern before embarking on such a radical and untried course of therapy, is the dillema of of deciding which car to drive during my cyclicaly occuring periods of bi-polarity. Would the wrong choice at the wrong time lead to possible catastrophic emotional consequences?
:
PS = I'm off to bed now, feeling a lot better, but with a sore head from excercising the unused English language department of my brain cells
It's nice to see that somebody else shares the same feelings.
My missus has a 97 Auto Rover 114, a couple of the missus's friends came round the other night & as we got in the car the one girl came out with "I bet you hate getting in this don't you"
I answered that I liked it, the heater gets warm within in a minute, I can attack the speed humps down our road at full pelt & I know that it's not going to cost me £500 in repairs if I dare to drive it for a week.
If I had to look back on Cerb ownership, I'd sum it up as "very fast go kart with two leather seats"
Still love it though, I can see her now through the front window at work, getting heavily rained on
How much is a new chassis ?
My missus has a 97 Auto Rover 114, a couple of the missus's friends came round the other night & as we got in the car the one girl came out with "I bet you hate getting in this don't you"
I answered that I liked it, the heater gets warm within in a minute, I can attack the speed humps down our road at full pelt & I know that it's not going to cost me £500 in repairs if I dare to drive it for a week.
If I had to look back on Cerb ownership, I'd sum it up as "very fast go kart with two leather seats"
Still love it though, I can see her now through the front window at work, getting heavily rained on
How much is a new chassis ?
i also see where you are coming from jensena. I must say that on the whole i prefer driving my MX6 to the Cerb, and i reckon if you took all of my driving into account, i probably travel much faster in the Mazda. On most of the roads round my way the Cerb is a nightmare as it skits all over the place and grounds out at every available opportunity, thus i have to keep the speeds realtively low. Now, in the Mazda, i can hit the straights with applomb (it is after all a 2.5 V6 so has some poke there), swing it round corners and blast away at lights, and it is just so smooth and sure of itself, whereas the Cerb jumps around all over the place, leaving exhaust brackets in it's wake.
The Cerb is abviously a much better, faster and more fun car. But on normal public roads, and on motorways packed with traffic and jams, and in nasty weather, it just ain't much fun at all. Indeed it is very stressful.
Still love it to bits though, but if someone said to me tomorrow that i had to lose one car or the world would end, the Cerb would have to go
The Cerb is abviously a much better, faster and more fun car. But on normal public roads, and on motorways packed with traffic and jams, and in nasty weather, it just ain't much fun at all. Indeed it is very stressful.
Still love it to bits though, but if someone said to me tomorrow that i had to lose one car or the world would end, the Cerb would have to go
On the getting from A to B, my small engined Transit van does 90 (100 down hill) & the thought of getting an instant ban means I try not to let the Cerb "accidentally" go over 100.
With the fact that the van gets over bumps & pot holes at full pelt, I find that on an average journey the two vehicles are similarly matched for speed.
That sounds a bit mad doesn't it ?
With the fact that the van gets over bumps & pot holes at full pelt, I find that on an average journey the two vehicles are similarly matched for speed.
That sounds a bit mad doesn't it ?
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