Nobhead BMW dealer
Discussion
Went to a BMW dealer at the weekend.
M Roadster for sale. Drove it. Lovely. Gonna buy it.
BUT THEN
The dealer demands a £2k deposit before they'll run the finance through. "Company Policy" apparently.
My ar5e.
Walked, I'll buy one somewhere else.
Anyone else had a similar experience?
Well they said it would be refunded. But £2k down before they'll run the finance? I've bought four BMWs before now and they never asked for that.
It wasn't the fact that they wanted money up front, it was the fact that they told me it was company policy when I KNOW for a FACT that BMW don't insist on this.
I hate being lied to.
So, I'll buy one somewhere else.
At least you don't get treated like a little old lady and only shown the beige shopping trolleys when you're after an M3 
But then maybe I am an lol 
edited to add: was the dealership in London ? Central London seems to have the highest concentration of lowsy dealerships, there's a certain Jag dealer who has much the same attitude
>> Edited by mrsd on Monday 10th March 11:07
But then maybe I am an lol edited to add: was the dealership in London ? Central London seems to have the highest concentration of lowsy dealerships, there's a certain Jag dealer who has much the same attitude
>> Edited by mrsd on Monday 10th March 11:07
Shameful - I had one dealer demand a 10% deposit in order that I qualify for a £250 discount on a new M3 !!! I then returned to my friendly ex local dealer and got a better discount, on better terms, and quicker delivery. Didn't try him first as i now live 200 miles from there !
If you want a good BMW dealer recommendation send me an email
>> Edited by Olly2000 on Monday 10th March 11:13
If you want a good BMW dealer recommendation send me an email
>> Edited by Olly2000 on Monday 10th March 11:13
We went to a Mini dealer yesterday. I am currently in a courtesy car, a Yaris in fact, not a bad car...
I fancied a go in a Cooper S (with the Works pack) as I am considering one as an alternative when the Chim goes. I asked for a test drive of a normal Cooper S, the salesman before answering me looked out at the Yaris and then told me there were none available at the moment. In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
I fancied a go in a Cooper S (with the Works pack) as I am considering one as an alternative when the Chim goes. I asked for a test drive of a normal Cooper S, the salesman before answering me looked out at the Yaris and then told me there were none available at the moment. In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
Car sales techniques vol 1 - Don't prejudge the customer.
£2k "to run the fianace " TOSS*R... GO ELSEWHERE!!!
Let me "prejudge" the salesman:
Shiny suit (high man made fibre content)
Chunky Slip-ons (ideally with silver bit on front)
2kgs of Tesco Value HairGel
Slighty Orange complexion from the tanning sessions after work
HUGE chip on shoulder - company car is a 316i compact, why should the 'best' salesman have to put up with this!!
...or is this just the BMW salesmen near me...!
I have had similar when trying to buy a Cooper S, I have given up now. - Saving for a Chimeara instead!!
Chris (come and buy a Hyundai Coupe from me instead!)
£2k "to run the fianace " TOSS*R... GO ELSEWHERE!!!
Let me "prejudge" the salesman:
Shiny suit (high man made fibre content)
Chunky Slip-ons (ideally with silver bit on front)
2kgs of Tesco Value HairGel
Slighty Orange complexion from the tanning sessions after work
HUGE chip on shoulder - company car is a 316i compact, why should the 'best' salesman have to put up with this!!
...or is this just the BMW salesmen near me...!
I have had similar when trying to buy a Cooper S, I have given up now. - Saving for a Chimeara instead!!
Chris (come and buy a Hyundai Coupe from me instead!)
plotloss said: the salesman before answering me looked out at the Yaris and then told me there were none available at the moment. In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
you absolutely HAVE to go back! rub his smarmy nose in it and don't forget to light up the rears when exiting the junction right outside!
plotloss said:In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
Top job lad! I had something similar a couple of years back, when I was looking to buy my Fiesta. Turned up in my little Cinquecento (immaculate condition BTW!) and they questioned whether I would be able to cope with the "power" of the 100bhp 1.6...!?!?
I then pointed out that the Cinq wasn't standard, was pushing close to that anyway... oh, and promptly over took car I was going to buy later that afternoon... and gave the "salesman" a wave
minimax said:
plotloss said: the salesman before answering me looked out at the Yaris and then told me there were none available at the moment. In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
you absolutely HAVE to go back! rub his smarmy nose in it and don't forget to light up the rears when exiting the junction right outside!
HAd the same here with a Jag dealer who also was an (shock Horror) Opel (spew kotz) dealer.
I only ever wear jeans and pullover at the WE, and got the top to tail overlook from those scabby Opeldealer slickhaired lowlife who thought they could sell, with the words "you want a Jaguar!?!?! Sorry the Jagrep is not here, call back" This didn't only happen once.....
But going back now with the S-Type (went on purpose to show the little toerag) he grovelled and slimed..... had my tuppence worth!!!!! BTW they have NO Jag dealership any more because of complaints!!!
edited coz Ive got dyslexic fnigers
>> Edited by JMGS4 on Tuesday 11th March 08:37
plotloss said: We went to a Mini dealer yesterday. I am currently in a courtesy car, a Yaris in fact, not a bad car...
I fancied a go in a Cooper S (with the Works pack) as I am considering one as an alternative when the Chim goes. I asked for a test drive of a normal Cooper S, the salesman before answering me looked out at the Yaris and then told me there were none available at the moment. In light of this I will be going back in the Chim just so he knows hes lost the deal.
Matt.
The Ruxley Mini dealership (near Swanley) was excellent, we just went along for a quick thrash really, they let us both drive down the roads we wanted, the salesmen even showed us some other fun country lanes I didn’t know about.
They let us test the S and standard cooper back to back, we did have an appointment though but they rang me to ask if I’d like to test it, they have been very helpful and would gladly recommend them.
Not really a story but given the circumstances here I thought you chaps may appreciate it...
A well heeled businessman is driving around his home town one day in
his prized silver BMW and pulls up to a set of traffic lights just as they
turn red. Seconds later a Mini pulls up next to him. Both he and the Mini
driver exchange glances.
The businessman looks down his nose at the little red car, which
doesn't go un-noticed by the Mini driver.
So as they both wait for the lights to turn green, the Beemer man
presses a button and lowers his electric window, watching it as it
smoothly lowers itself into the body of the door.
He is a little surprised to see the Mini driver look up at him and press
a button in his little car. His window also lowers itself electrically.
The businessman counters by pressing another button in the BMW.
The roof slowly peels back and disappears into a compartment at the back
of the car.
"Beat that" he thinks and looks down at the little mini with a smirk.
To his annoyance, the Mini driver presses a button in his car, and his
roof slowly peels back and conceals itself away in it's own little
compartment just as smoothly as it did in the BMW.
The business guy can't believe it and is now well and truly pissed off.
As he glares down into the Mini, desperately thinking of something
else to press, the Mini driver hits another button on his dashboard.
The passenger seat and rear seats in the wee car fold away and upside
down to turn into a luxury bed, complete with duvet, pillows, a headboard
and even a little bedside cabinet on which rests a brightly shining
reading lamp.
The lights turn green and the Mini speeds off. The Businessman sits
motionless for several moments. He is gutted.
When he has re-gathered his composure, his anger kicks in and he
drives straight to his BMW dealer. He relays the details and insists that
he have the same things installed in his car, no matter what the cost.
Despite BMW's protestations and some $45,000 worse off, a week later he
is back in his BMW, bed, and all ..... plus some.
He is determined to find the Mini owner and shove it to him. So he spends
all day driving around and around and as night falls is about to give up,
when he finally sees the little red car parked up in a lay-by. As he
quietly motors nearer he can see that all the windows are steamed up.
"Perfect", he thinks to himself.
He drives up alongside the little car and lowers his window. He leans
out and taps on the Mini's window ......... ......... and waits.
Nothing. He taps again, a bit louder this time and hoots his horn.
Still nothing.
So he bangs on the window and leans on his horn and screams out
"COME ON OUT, YOU LITTLE SHIT... ........ STOP YOUR SHAGGING.
..........I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU."
Finally, the Mini's window lowers and out pops the drivers head, all
covered in sweat.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" shouts the Mini driver.
"Look at this," the business guy replies. He presses his shiny new
button and watches with great pleasure as all the seats in the BMW
fold away and turn into a luxury bed. The sheets and duvet are exposed as
is the headboard, bedside table and reading lamp. In addition there is a
coffee percolator, a telephone, TV, VCR and DVD player plus stereo system
with a 10stack CD shuttle. All snap neatly into position. He knows that
everything is just that little bit bigger and better than the one in the
Mini.
"Well what do you think of all this then?" he asks smugly.
The Mini driver looks at him in disgust. "You got me out of the shower
just to show me that?"
A well heeled businessman is driving around his home town one day in
his prized silver BMW and pulls up to a set of traffic lights just as they
turn red. Seconds later a Mini pulls up next to him. Both he and the Mini
driver exchange glances.
The businessman looks down his nose at the little red car, which
doesn't go un-noticed by the Mini driver.
So as they both wait for the lights to turn green, the Beemer man
presses a button and lowers his electric window, watching it as it
smoothly lowers itself into the body of the door.
He is a little surprised to see the Mini driver look up at him and press
a button in his little car. His window also lowers itself electrically.
The businessman counters by pressing another button in the BMW.
The roof slowly peels back and disappears into a compartment at the back
of the car.
"Beat that" he thinks and looks down at the little mini with a smirk.
To his annoyance, the Mini driver presses a button in his car, and his
roof slowly peels back and conceals itself away in it's own little
compartment just as smoothly as it did in the BMW.
The business guy can't believe it and is now well and truly pissed off.
As he glares down into the Mini, desperately thinking of something
else to press, the Mini driver hits another button on his dashboard.
The passenger seat and rear seats in the wee car fold away and upside
down to turn into a luxury bed, complete with duvet, pillows, a headboard
and even a little bedside cabinet on which rests a brightly shining
reading lamp.
The lights turn green and the Mini speeds off. The Businessman sits
motionless for several moments. He is gutted.
When he has re-gathered his composure, his anger kicks in and he
drives straight to his BMW dealer. He relays the details and insists that
he have the same things installed in his car, no matter what the cost.
Despite BMW's protestations and some $45,000 worse off, a week later he
is back in his BMW, bed, and all ..... plus some.
He is determined to find the Mini owner and shove it to him. So he spends
all day driving around and around and as night falls is about to give up,
when he finally sees the little red car parked up in a lay-by. As he
quietly motors nearer he can see that all the windows are steamed up.
"Perfect", he thinks to himself.
He drives up alongside the little car and lowers his window. He leans
out and taps on the Mini's window ......... ......... and waits.
Nothing. He taps again, a bit louder this time and hoots his horn.
Still nothing.
So he bangs on the window and leans on his horn and screams out
"COME ON OUT, YOU LITTLE SHIT... ........ STOP YOUR SHAGGING.
..........I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU."
Finally, the Mini's window lowers and out pops the drivers head, all
covered in sweat.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" shouts the Mini driver.
"Look at this," the business guy replies. He presses his shiny new
button and watches with great pleasure as all the seats in the BMW
fold away and turn into a luxury bed. The sheets and duvet are exposed as
is the headboard, bedside table and reading lamp. In addition there is a
coffee percolator, a telephone, TV, VCR and DVD player plus stereo system
with a 10stack CD shuttle. All snap neatly into position. He knows that
everything is just that little bit bigger and better than the one in the
Mini.
"Well what do you think of all this then?" he asks smugly.
The Mini driver looks at him in disgust. "You got me out of the shower
just to show me that?"
:smile: 
:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile:
There is a happy ending to this story.
Found a better one. Told the salesman at the new place the story. On the test drive last night he suggested we go past nobhead's dealership for a laugh.
Matey boy is outside getting into his 318 saloon so I do the decent thing and pull up next to him. I lean out and smirk before (as suggested below) "lighting them up" and leaving Mr Nobhead chewing molten PZero.
Delivery Saturday.
Woohooo!
:smile:
:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: There is a happy ending to this story.
Found a better one. Told the salesman at the new place the story. On the test drive last night he suggested we go past nobhead's dealership for a laugh.
Matey boy is outside getting into his 318 saloon so I do the decent thing and pull up next to him. I lean out and smirk before (as suggested below) "lighting them up" and leaving Mr Nobhead chewing molten PZero.
Delivery Saturday.
Woohooo!
:smile:
Coincidentally, I called into our local Next, sorry BMW showroom last night.
Looking at swapping Mrs Digga's ageing Alfa 145 for a Mini Cooper, I had to run the gauntlet of the gel'slicked Viper pit that is the BMW sales floor before getting into the safe haven of the Mini sales area.
Now I work (hence the handle) in the earthmoving industry - so suit & tie is not only impractical, but also often a barrier in face to face dealings with customers - so I did notice the head to toe scanning that these guys (BMW and Mini) gave me.
I'd deliberately hidden the Range Rover in a far corner of the customer parking, as I've long ago realised that you can play these monkeys at their own game buy, dressing to plead poverty.
It's a fun game - OK so you don't get the red carpet treatment, but you can really screw them for discount, and then, when you've done the deal, and their just getting the feeling back in their arm after having it twisted so far up their backs, I'll turn up to pay in the TVR!
>> Edited by DIGGA on Tuesday 11th March 10:31
Looking at swapping Mrs Digga's ageing Alfa 145 for a Mini Cooper, I had to run the gauntlet of the gel'slicked Viper pit that is the BMW sales floor before getting into the safe haven of the Mini sales area.
Now I work (hence the handle) in the earthmoving industry - so suit & tie is not only impractical, but also often a barrier in face to face dealings with customers - so I did notice the head to toe scanning that these guys (BMW and Mini) gave me.
I'd deliberately hidden the Range Rover in a far corner of the customer parking, as I've long ago realised that you can play these monkeys at their own game buy, dressing to plead poverty.
It's a fun game - OK so you don't get the red carpet treatment, but you can really screw them for discount, and then, when you've done the deal, and their just getting the feeling back in their arm after having it twisted so far up their backs, I'll turn up to pay in the TVR!
>> Edited by DIGGA on Tuesday 11th March 10:31
Jon tends to go in his 'pikey wagon' and grubby overalls. It comes as a bit of a shock to the salesdroids when finance is mentioned and the chequebook comes out 
Sometimes backfires though, some salesman just sneer and wander off, still their loss.
I find the conservative councillor look and looking lost gets them off guard then I utilise 35 years of deal making and go in for the kill
podie-you've got mail
>> Edited by mrsd on Tuesday 11th March 11:41
Sometimes backfires though, some salesman just sneer and wander off, still their loss. I find the conservative councillor look and looking lost gets them off guard then I utilise 35 years of deal making and go in for the kill
podie-you've got mail
>> Edited by mrsd on Tuesday 11th March 11:41
I had a similar encounter in the BMW dealers a few years ago, decided that I wanted a 3.0 Z3 and was passing the dealers with a work colleague on the way back from the Kennels 
I was dressed in jeans and a ripped sweatshirt and wandered in, walked over to a silver 3.0 Z3 on display and was nosing around it, sales staff made it blatantly obvious that they were ignoring me. I approached one to enquire about price and he told me that he was busy with a customer (must have been invisible)and would send someone to see me when available - TO55er
In walks a young chap, 25-30, booted and suited looked a little out of place and he walked over and genuinely asked if he could help,
I replied "I want this car, with those wheels (pointing at another Z3), with the stereo upgrade"
The guy was really shocked, tentatively told me the price and asked if I required finance, I whipped out my cheque book and wrote him a cheque for £10,000 and said that I would pay the balance when I collected it, he was flapping a little about how soon they could have it ready. turns out that it was his first day, he asked the guy who was to busy to talk to me how quick I could have the car and showed him the deposit cheque, Mr I am busy suddenly tries to take over the sale and fills out the paperwork with the salesman being him - i pull him up on it and point out that it is the other guys sale and he is well pi55ed.
collect the car a week later, the young salesman is chuffed to bits.
6 months later we decide that we want an X5 as a company motor, so back to the dealers I go, Mr I am busy tries to intercept me as I walk in the door as he recognises me, "i'm just looking I reply, If i need any help I will ask"
Cant see the young salesman who sold me the Z3, so I walk up to Mr I am busy and ask for him, "he is off sick" he replies "can I help?"
No thanks I reply and fish a business card out of my pocket and hand it to him and say "could you give him this and ask him to give me a call when he is back at work" turn on my heel and walk out.
I get a call the next day and went down and bought the X5, Mr I am busy looked well pi55ed off as i gave him a smug grin
That will teach him to judge people by their appearances 
I was dressed in jeans and a ripped sweatshirt and wandered in, walked over to a silver 3.0 Z3 on display and was nosing around it, sales staff made it blatantly obvious that they were ignoring me. I approached one to enquire about price and he told me that he was busy with a customer (must have been invisible)and would send someone to see me when available - TO55er
In walks a young chap, 25-30, booted and suited looked a little out of place and he walked over and genuinely asked if he could help,
I replied "I want this car, with those wheels (pointing at another Z3), with the stereo upgrade"
The guy was really shocked, tentatively told me the price and asked if I required finance, I whipped out my cheque book and wrote him a cheque for £10,000 and said that I would pay the balance when I collected it, he was flapping a little about how soon they could have it ready. turns out that it was his first day, he asked the guy who was to busy to talk to me how quick I could have the car and showed him the deposit cheque, Mr I am busy suddenly tries to take over the sale
and fills out the paperwork with the salesman being him - i pull him up on it and point out that it is the other guys sale and he is well pi55ed. collect the car a week later, the young salesman is chuffed to bits.
6 months later we decide that we want an X5 as a company motor, so back to the dealers I go, Mr I am busy tries to intercept me as I walk in the door as he recognises me, "i'm just looking I reply, If i need any help I will ask"
Cant see the young salesman who sold me the Z3, so I walk up to Mr I am busy and ask for him, "he is off sick" he replies "can I help?"
No thanks I reply and fish a business card out of my pocket and hand it to him and say "could you give him this and ask him to give me a call when he is back at work" turn on my heel and walk out.
I get a call the next day and went down and bought the X5, Mr I am busy looked well pi55ed off as i gave him a smug grin
That will teach him to judge people by their appearances Gassing Station | General Gassing [Archive] | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff