French Military Victories
Discussion
Ok - end of the day )ish) here goes!
French Jokes/Quotes/Opinions
Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the descrption was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
Dennis Miller
Raise your right hand if you like the French... Raise both hands if you are French.
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
Jay Leno
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
Rep. R. Blunt (MO)
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
Alan Kent
French Jokes/Quotes/Opinions
Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion."
Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the descrption was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
Dennis Miller
Raise your right hand if you like the French... Raise both hands if you are French.
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France."
Jay Leno
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
Rep. R. Blunt (MO)
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
Alan Kent
I seem to remember that they did quite well at Hastings in 1066, but there again so did the mods in 1966.
Simple question would you rather be French or American?
I admire the French for, amongst other things their National Anthem, their Rugby Supporter's band, their cheeses, pate, wines, DS19, Alpines, Pastiche, Fish soup and their national pride.
Simple question would you rather be French or American?
I admire the French for, amongst other things their National Anthem, their Rugby Supporter's band, their cheeses, pate, wines, DS19, Alpines, Pastiche, Fish soup and their national pride.
From my distant recollection of history at school, the Normans were actually Vikings (Norsemen) who had turned up in Northern France and handed a large part of the country (Normandy) for their own use. Maybe this is where Adolf got the idea.
Normans French? Nah....
If King Harold hadn't had to march his army up to York (to kick out some of the Normans relations) before marching back to the South coast, the outcome of Hastings may have been quite different.
Normans French? Nah....
If King Harold hadn't had to march his army up to York (to kick out some of the Normans relations) before marching back to the South coast, the outcome of Hastings may have been quite different.
gnomesmith said: I seem to remember that they did quite well at Hastings in 1066, but there again so did the mods in 1966.
Classic
Simple question would you rather be French or American?
I admire the French for, amongst other things their National Anthem, their Rugby Supporter's band, their cheeses, pate, wines, DS19, Alpines, Pastiche, Fish soup and their national pride.
I admire the Americans for having the bottle (and the cheap gas) to put V8's into anything with wheels.
29 Let's remember folks, It's the French Govenment and it's policy that is the cause of the problem, not the majority of the french people. they are just like us in many ways, 50% don't give a toss, 25% would vote for whoever promised to bring down petrol prices and scrap the speed limits, 12.5% will object, complain, demonstrate, blockade, obstruct, and make a general nuisance of themselves for any lost cause,10% aren't French, and the remaining 2.5% are pissed out of their brains.......... as I said, just like us!!!!
Sorry guys, but I (and cheap ASDA vodka) have to reply;
What is it with all the French bashing on this and other message boards?
I'm all up for a laugh at the expense of the French, but enough is enough.
I even saw French bashing on the US version of Robot Wars ffs.
OK, Napolean wanted to rule all of Europe, who didn't at the time?
OK, they didn't do too well in WWI, who did?
OK, they didn't do too well in WWII, who did? Don't tell me loosing 1,000,000 US and UK servicemen on the 'minor' European front was doing well. Besides, the only land joined country who stood up to Germany was Russia. Do we hate the Polish for surrendering? No.
So fcuking what? That was 50/80/200 years ago for ****s sake.
Have you forgotten the French achievements?
Louis Pastuer - those who don't drink Pasteurised milk stand up.
Their architecture.
Le Mans.
It was the Frenchman Descartes who said 'I think, therefore I am', he also invented calculus as we know it today (yes, I know Newton also has credit, but it's Descartes notation we still use)
The beginning of the nuclear age was started by Henri Becquerel who found that radiation ionises in air.
So please, don't attack the French just for the sake of it.
FunkyNige (who's last name only may have came across the channel in 1066)
What is it with all the French bashing on this and other message boards?
I'm all up for a laugh at the expense of the French, but enough is enough.
I even saw French bashing on the US version of Robot Wars ffs.
OK, Napolean wanted to rule all of Europe, who didn't at the time?
OK, they didn't do too well in WWI, who did?
OK, they didn't do too well in WWII, who did? Don't tell me loosing 1,000,000 US and UK servicemen on the 'minor' European front was doing well. Besides, the only land joined country who stood up to Germany was Russia. Do we hate the Polish for surrendering? No.
So fcuking what? That was 50/80/200 years ago for ****s sake.
Have you forgotten the French achievements?
Louis Pastuer - those who don't drink Pasteurised milk stand up.
Their architecture.
Le Mans.
It was the Frenchman Descartes who said 'I think, therefore I am', he also invented calculus as we know it today (yes, I know Newton also has credit, but it's Descartes notation we still use)
The beginning of the nuclear age was started by Henri Becquerel who found that radiation ionises in air.
So please, don't attack the French just for the sake of it.
FunkyNige (who's last name only may have came across the channel in 1066)
and we all love Tony Blair
yeah right
old french gezzer ( sorry 2 pissed to spell his name) is 1000000% more statesman than the **** we've got... at least he's not some yanky poodle!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and remember the GREATEST MOTOR RACE IN THE WORLD is in FRANCE LE MANS in case you have forgotten
Dayton an comparison is shit and i've done both...
cheers point forgotten
G
edited cos ted wont let me say tony blair is a c u n t
edited again to say sorry Ted
and probably edited tommorow to make sense
edited again cos i remembered that french Birds are cool
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:28
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:29
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:30
yeah right
old french gezzer ( sorry 2 pissed to spell his name) is 1000000% more statesman than the **** we've got... at least he's not some yanky poodle!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and remember the GREATEST MOTOR RACE IN THE WORLD is in FRANCE LE MANS in case you have forgotten
Dayton an comparison is shit and i've done both...
cheers point forgotten
G
edited cos ted wont let me say tony blair is a c u n t
edited again to say sorry Ted
and probably edited tommorow to make sense
edited again cos i remembered that french Birds are cool
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:28
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:29
>> Edited by Graham on Friday 14th March 00:30
gnomesmith said: I seem to remember that they did quite well at Hastings in 1066, but there again so did the mods in 1966.
Those weren't French they were Normans i.e NORTHmen i.e. Vikings!!! Spoke something based on present day german muxed ip with plenty of Frankish......
But I do respect the French especially with their respect for law (EU Law that is) NOT, their (someofthetime) good food, their cheese and their 1923 Chateau Yquem!
AND the fact that they regularly topple the English at Rugby (hope that'll ire them a bit!)
Damn celtic conspiracy again forcing the English to take second place!!HAhaha, wait for Lansdowne Road England, you'll go down in a flood of mud, byeee. Ireland for the Championship!!!!! or anyone provided they're NOT england!
BIASED ME? Yess too damn right!!!
>> Edited by JMGS4 on Friday 14th March 08:09
gnomesmith said: I seem to remember that they did quite well at Hastings in 1066, but there again so did the mods in 1966.
Simple question would you rather be French or American?
I admire the French for, amongst other things their National Anthem, their Rugby Supporter's band, their cheeses, pate, wines, DS19, Alpines, Pastiche, Fish soup and their national pride.
The french didn't take part at Hastings, it was the Normans. People get confused about this. France hadn't got its act together at that time, like a lot of Europe and was actually a loose group of territories.
The Normans were descendants of the North men, Norsemen or vikings hence the name from about 150 years previously.
William the conqueror was actually more powerful than the King of 'France' at the time.
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