Your most stupid car prang?
Discussion
Me?
If you know Ouisterham port (Caen) then you'll know it's an odd one way system just outside the ferry apron.
Driving round one day (in the Scorpio) I was pootling and suddenly realised that I'd turned left instead of right as I pulled away from one set of lights.
Soooo... there was actually nobody about...soooo....I reversed up with the intention of turning the other way.
'cept I reversed into the traffic light and knocked it over
Scorps can move quite quickly when they need to!
If you know Ouisterham port (Caen) then you'll know it's an odd one way system just outside the ferry apron.
Driving round one day (in the Scorpio) I was pootling and suddenly realised that I'd turned left instead of right as I pulled away from one set of lights.
Soooo... there was actually nobody about...soooo....I reversed up with the intention of turning the other way.
'cept I reversed into the traffic light and knocked it over
Scorps can move quite quickly when they need to!
Getting hit by a lorry at 50mph, while I was static in a traffic jam. I'm lucky to be alive, but I have 5 wedge fractures in my spine to live with for the rest of my days. NOT GOOD!!! So am just waiting for the payout......its only been 4 years can wait another 4 years if necessary!!!
It twas a winter's night and my Fiat Cinquecento was sitting on the drive, covered in ice. I was learning to drive at the time and my father would kindly let me drive to the pub under his supervision to meet my mates and then he'd drive it home, leaving me to get a lift home.
Anyway, I thought I'd start the car and get it defrosted whilst I was waiting for papa. So I lent in, waggled the gearstick to check it had been left in neutral and there was plenty of play (remember, it's a Cinquecento...) so i started her up.
Seems it had actually been left in reverse and somehow despite the handbrake being on it lept back three times in apparent slow motion, failing to stall, the open door striking me across the shins (as I was standing alongside it), drawing blood and the little Fiat ending up wedged in the front doorway of the family home.
Mucho embarassment. Still blame dad... ;-)
Anyway, I thought I'd start the car and get it defrosted whilst I was waiting for papa. So I lent in, waggled the gearstick to check it had been left in neutral and there was plenty of play (remember, it's a Cinquecento...) so i started her up.
Seems it had actually been left in reverse and somehow despite the handbrake being on it lept back three times in apparent slow motion, failing to stall, the open door striking me across the shins (as I was standing alongside it), drawing blood and the little Fiat ending up wedged in the front doorway of the family home.
Mucho embarassment. Still blame dad... ;-)
Dual carriageway, winters night.
The recently fallen snow had been cleared on both carriageways and the temperature was above freezing, so I was quite happy overtaking the line of traffic.
Imagine my surprise when I realised that the snow ploughs had decided to go home early and over the brow of a hill, not bothered to clear both carriageways.
I hit the 3ft snowdrift blocking lane 2 at about 50mph.
The only silver lining was that I was driving my sisters MR2 & not my own car
The recently fallen snow had been cleared on both carriageways and the temperature was above freezing, so I was quite happy overtaking the line of traffic.
Imagine my surprise when I realised that the snow ploughs had decided to go home early and over the brow of a hill, not bothered to clear both carriageways.
I hit the 3ft snowdrift blocking lane 2 at about 50mph.
The only silver lining was that I was driving my sisters MR2 & not my own car
Driving my mates old JPS Capri to work with absolutely shocking brakes and near slick tyres....I was young and reckless.
Anyway, this is out in the open country, I come round a slight left kink in the road at 50mph like a have done for the past 5 years with no problems and there's a tractor parked half on the verge and half in the road
... trouble is, there's a van coming the other way... so, I hit the brakes, four wheel lock up, smoke, screeching the works.... thought this was it.... closed my eyes and aimed for the gap between the tractor and the van.
What seemed an eternity later, there's a slight bump and the sound of glass breaking... I open my eyes and find that I am still in one peice and heading for the bushes... released the brakes and regained control and managed to park up.
Got out the car, quick check and there's a slight dent in the fornt wing and the indicator what broken.
Saw the van had stopped the other side of the tractor...wandered up to him, cursing and swearing farmer and found that I had just bounced of the van's bumper... no damage, no problem and we went on out way.
Walked back to the car, cursing and swearing farmer as I went past say what a p
k he was for parking there...
Mind you.... the skiddies on the road looked quite good... straight for about 50 feet with a slight left kink for the final 5.... the skiddies in me undies on the other hand, well... thats a different matter.
Anyway, this is out in the open country, I come round a slight left kink in the road at 50mph like a have done for the past 5 years with no problems and there's a tractor parked half on the verge and half in the road
... trouble is, there's a van coming the other way... so, I hit the brakes, four wheel lock up, smoke, screeching the works.... thought this was it.... closed my eyes and aimed for the gap between the tractor and the van. What seemed an eternity later, there's a slight bump and the sound of glass breaking... I open my eyes and find that I am still in one peice and heading for the bushes... released the brakes and regained control and managed to park up.
Got out the car, quick check and there's a slight dent in the fornt wing and the indicator what broken.
Saw the van had stopped the other side of the tractor...wandered up to him, cursing and swearing farmer and found that I had just bounced of the van's bumper... no damage, no problem and we went on out way.
Walked back to the car, cursing and swearing farmer as I went past say what a p
k he was for parking there... Mind you.... the skiddies on the road looked quite good... straight for about 50 feet with a slight left kink for the final 5.... the skiddies in me undies on the other hand, well... thats a different matter.
many years back was driving in my old capri 2.8, mate in passenger seat wife in the back.
Driving at about 30mph there was one of them film slow down moments as a girl with the finest arse ever, shod in lycra jogging trousers, bent down legs straight, to pick something up.
In slow motion bearing in mind as by now both me and mate are well and truely fixated on this vision from God when we hear his not so impressed wife scream CAAAAAAAR
brakes on capris dont work too hot do they
Driving at about 30mph there was one of them film slow down moments as a girl with the finest arse ever, shod in lycra jogging trousers, bent down legs straight, to pick something up.
In slow motion bearing in mind as by now both me and mate are well and truely fixated on this vision from God when we hear his not so impressed wife scream CAAAAAAAR
brakes on capris dont work too hot do they
stigcv8 said:
brakes on capris dont work too hot do they
Nope they don't. According to a disgruntled Manchester Traffic cop who hated the forces 2.8i patrol car, they appeared to have brakes from Morris Minors fitted to them. And he should know, he pranged it on a couple of occasions.
My stupidist prang came when flying down a country lane in the dark in a 12 year old Mini Clubman, 3 months after passing my driving test, showing off to my mate that a) I knew the road like the back of my hand and b) I could handle a car. I got confused at a fork in the road and took a right instead of a left. On realising my mistake, I hit the brakes (which instantly failed) and we sailed into a hedge. All was fine when we came to a sudden stop, we looked at each other sighed with relief, had a laugh and prepared to reverse out when suddenly the car lurched, tipped foward and went nose down 5 feet into a ditch. Biggest worry was explaining this to my parents.
However my enterprising chum, noticed we had come to rest at the end of a farm drive way. So, off he pops up to the farm house to get help. He returns to tell me that the farmer is coming down in his car to help. 10 minutes later, huge tractor with huge spotlights akk ablaze arrives with massive hooks and chains (really break into sweat now). He drags the mini out, bending the rear valance, tears off the front bumper, dredges the bank up with my car and then dissapears with a huge grin on his face. Get car home and try to sneak into drive and hope to repair damage quietly next morning.
Wrong! I pull up as quietly as possible and in my blind panic to hide my stupidity, I forgot to select neutral and took my foot off the clutch and went sailing through the front rose bed and into the lounge wall.
Fortunatley, I didn't have to worry about telling them about my prior accident as the impact with the lounge wall rearranged the front end even further. My mate and I still have a good laugh about it now nearly 20 years on, but my parents still aren't smiling about it. The brick work was in need of re-pointing anyway is what I still maintain.
i know or rather know of the cop you refer to, with his weight behind any car brakes wouldnt have worked and handling was out the window - i even know the lad that owns the last of the gmp 2.8i's (or did, I lost touch in 99)
anyway it was weird, I didnt even read BO55's post and only just now notied the Capri thing!
anyway it was weird, I didnt even read BO55's post and only just now notied the Capri thing!
I used to work for a small packaging company in the early 90's as a sales dude. We had an urgent delivery to Clowne over in Derbyshire which was miles away from Cheshire! As the driver had used his allocation of miles on his tachograph that day, i volunteered to do the delivery. So i drive the 7.5tonne Merc curtainsider to my mums house and proceeded to have a bit of tea before i commenced my journey.
So suitably satiated i stroll outside to start the truck and be on my way. Its about 6pm at this time and dark, so not thinking, i start the truck and put it in reverse, no reverse motion? So i give it a bit and the truck lurches back but not much. I slowly begin to think the worse as i get out of the truck.
Yes, a numptie had parked his clapped out Escort right behind the truck which was now firmly wedged upto the windscreen.
Guy comes out and freaks out, i exchange insurance and attempt to drive the truck off the car. much grinding and bits of Dagenhams finest on the floor i extract the truck.
Safe to say, the guy wasn't insured and was the shiftiest bloke i have ever met. Put in a claim using Rex Makin, Liverpools dodgiest solicitor!
So suitably satiated i stroll outside to start the truck and be on my way. Its about 6pm at this time and dark, so not thinking, i start the truck and put it in reverse, no reverse motion? So i give it a bit and the truck lurches back but not much. I slowly begin to think the worse as i get out of the truck.
Yes, a numptie had parked his clapped out Escort right behind the truck which was now firmly wedged upto the windscreen.
Guy comes out and freaks out, i exchange insurance and attempt to drive the truck off the car. much grinding and bits of Dagenhams finest on the floor i extract the truck.
Safe to say, the guy wasn't insured and was the shiftiest bloke i have ever met. Put in a claim using Rex Makin, Liverpools dodgiest solicitor!
On my first 250cc motorbike. Leave my brothers place in the dark, tear off up the street in the other direction to the way I normally go cause its a nice night. Approaching the brow of a hill over which I "know" there is a fast gradual left hand bend, chin out to the left, knee out to he left, get ready to bank it over, crest the hill to find that its actually a 90 degree right hander with a wire fence and a sand dune on the outside of it.
Head up, knee in, brakes on, locked the rear, got it slowed down a fair bit but not enough, hit the waist high wire fence at about 15kmh Id estimate. It pulled the bike up like one of those emergency fences you see at the end of aircraft carriers or runways. The fence didnt pull me up though. My b0ll0cks hitting the fuel tank at said 15kmh is what pulled me up, feet off the pegs, very nearly over the bars to boot.
Was able to step off the bike with it still standing up wedged in the fence wire while I writhed around on the footpath (what should have been road!) trying to get my breath back and my cajones out of the bottom of my lungs.
PB
Head up, knee in, brakes on, locked the rear, got it slowed down a fair bit but not enough, hit the waist high wire fence at about 15kmh Id estimate. It pulled the bike up like one of those emergency fences you see at the end of aircraft carriers or runways. The fence didnt pull me up though. My b0ll0cks hitting the fuel tank at said 15kmh is what pulled me up, feet off the pegs, very nearly over the bars to boot.
Was able to step off the bike with it still standing up wedged in the fence wire while I writhed around on the footpath (what should have been road!) trying to get my breath back and my cajones out of the bottom of my lungs.
PB
Talking about push bikes, was cycling with a friend of ine down a hil following a fiesta (mark 1 type) when the car brakes and friend crashes into the back of teh fiesta with his face pushed against the glass.
The look of surpirse on the driver and passenger in seeing this was priceless. They actually got out and had a go at him saying he could have been hurt!
The look of surpirse on the driver and passenger in seeing this was priceless. They actually got out and had a go at him saying he could have been hurt!
Gassing Station | HSV & Monaro | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff