The Joys of Dover to Calais
Discussion
OK - nobody else seems to be moaning - so I shall take it upon myself. 
I'm getting really annoyed.....or should that be irritated....no let's call it angry! Why isn't the UK joined to the continent? Who decided to put the
Channel there? It can't have been act of God, coz clearly it was a stupid idea in the first place. And he's s'posed to be sensible.
If it wasn't there, I could drive in one smooth easy journey to the Ring. Instead I've got to get up at some ungodly hour of the morning to get there.
Well that's worth a damn good old moan in itself. Disturbing me beauty sleep.
Then I've got to face the assault course known as HM Customs & Excise, Dover. Where the
do they they find these people (if you can call them that)? The words 'jobsworth' and 'abrasive rubber gloves' come to mind. You people on the continent - you should be glad you don't know what you're missing!
Ferries - have you ever been satisfyingly early for a ferry, one of the very first vehicles in the queue for a large vessel at 6am, sprinted literally up
the inevitable 10 flights of stairs on boarding, run around in circles trying to find the map for the the layout of the ferry, and after finding it, contemplating which combination of North/East/South/West/Deck 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/Port/Aft/Fore/Emergency exits/Blue Area/Purple Area/Orange Area/Green Area...... the cafe is hidden in, only to find by the time you
get there there's a busload of 50 purple rinsed pensioners in a non moving queue ahead of you, requesting hard boiled poached eggs sunny side up from a French chef who only deals in croissants?
So next time.....you decide forget breakast, let's catch up on some lost sleep instead.
So you trawl the ferry for a quiet corner after boarding. And
you settle down for a nice snooze. But the fact you're trying to sleep doesn't register in particular with certain very inconsiderate human beings.
Quiet corners on a ferry inevitably attract after 10/15 mins a minimum of 6 teenagers more irritating than I was when I was a teenager ie highly
irritating. Plain speaking English uttered from my mouth in the form of "Shut the fu*k up, I'm trying to get some fuc*in sleep here!" are of course
met with the standard teenage response "Huh?" as they turn back to their Playman, or whatever. I'm thinking of trying spitting next year.
Then we eventually reach Calais, and despite being advised by the captain of the ship that now is the time to rejoin your vehicles, that is always at
least 20 mins before the bloody doors open. Why not give me an extra 10 mins of quality time spitting on the teenagers - I ask you captain?
As we eventually disembark onto terra firma, we reach French passport control, who have perfected the art of designing four / six lanes of marked traffic lanes to go through only one lane of passport control - the art
being how to cause chaos and maximum holds ups at the exit point. Magic! And for extra enjoyment, the passport control booth never has anyone in it,
meaning the do gooders on a day trip to buy 25kgs of cheap washing powder from the hypermarkets inevitably stop confused, causing extra enjoyment and
scenery viewing opportunities for us lucky people behind them.
And then...finally...we reach the continent....
next installment - France & Belgium.
:silly
E - feeling better now
I'm getting really annoyed.....or should that be irritated....no let's call it angry! Why isn't the UK joined to the continent? Who decided to put the
Channel there? It can't have been act of God, coz clearly it was a stupid idea in the first place. And he's s'posed to be sensible.
If it wasn't there, I could drive in one smooth easy journey to the Ring. Instead I've got to get up at some ungodly hour of the morning to get there.
Well that's worth a damn good old moan in itself. Disturbing me beauty sleep.
Then I've got to face the assault course known as HM Customs & Excise, Dover. Where the
do they they find these people (if you can call them that)? The words 'jobsworth' and 'abrasive rubber gloves' come to mind. You people on the continent - you should be glad you don't know what you're missing! Ferries - have you ever been satisfyingly early for a ferry, one of the very first vehicles in the queue for a large vessel at 6am, sprinted literally up
the inevitable 10 flights of stairs on boarding, run around in circles trying to find the map for the the layout of the ferry, and after finding it, contemplating which combination of North/East/South/West/Deck 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/Port/Aft/Fore/Emergency exits/Blue Area/Purple Area/Orange Area/Green Area...... the cafe is hidden in, only to find by the time you
get there there's a busload of 50 purple rinsed pensioners in a non moving queue ahead of you, requesting hard boiled poached eggs sunny side up from a French chef who only deals in croissants?
So next time.....you decide forget breakast, let's catch up on some lost sleep instead.
So you trawl the ferry for a quiet corner after boarding. And you settle down for a nice snooze. But the fact you're trying to sleep doesn't register in particular with certain very inconsiderate human beings.
Quiet corners on a ferry inevitably attract after 10/15 mins a minimum of 6 teenagers more irritating than I was when I was a teenager ie highly
irritating. Plain speaking English uttered from my mouth in the form of "Shut the fu*k up, I'm trying to get some fuc*in sleep here!" are of course
met with the standard teenage response "Huh?" as they turn back to their Playman, or whatever. I'm thinking of trying spitting next year.
Then we eventually reach Calais, and despite being advised by the captain of the ship that now is the time to rejoin your vehicles, that is always at
least 20 mins before the bloody doors open. Why not give me an extra 10 mins of quality time spitting on the teenagers - I ask you captain?
As we eventually disembark onto terra firma, we reach French passport control, who have perfected the art of designing four / six lanes of marked traffic lanes to go through only one lane of passport control - the art
being how to cause chaos and maximum holds ups at the exit point. Magic! And for extra enjoyment, the passport control booth never has anyone in it,
meaning the do gooders on a day trip to buy 25kgs of cheap washing powder from the hypermarkets inevitably stop confused, causing extra enjoyment and
scenery viewing opportunities for us lucky people behind them.
And then...finally...we reach the continent....
next installment - France & Belgium.
:silly E - feeling better now
Easy... take your car on the Eurotunnel... I regular do London to Liege in less than five hours door to door.... and from there the 'ring is only a couple of hours away.... from junction 11 of the M20 (i.e. outskirts of Folkestone) to the autoroute outside Calais normally takes easily less than an hour and a half (as long as it's not a bank holiday).
The problem I find is that as soon as I doze off I get interupted by the "in the event of us sinking the muster point..." blasted out (with the full demonstration of the 7 horns that will be sounded ) fortunatly I've managed to avoid ferrys for some time now
>> Edited by rpguk on Monday 24th March 16:36
) fortunatly I've managed to avoid ferrys for some time now >> Edited by rpguk on Monday 24th March 16:36
SFV
One of the great things in life is learning something new everyday. Tonight I shall go to bed now knowing how to deal with loud mouthed inconsiderate teenagers.
I look forward to the lessons on dealing with french and belgique people.
DAZ
PS - With the overall cost of a ring weekend including petrol, tyres, brakes, depreciation, hotel, BEER etc.... I now take the approach of paying an exhorbitant amount extra and using the tunnel (means I arrive in my bed 1 hour earlier on the return leg).
One of the great things in life is learning something new everyday. Tonight I shall go to bed now knowing how to deal with loud mouthed inconsiderate teenagers.
I look forward to the lessons on dealing with french and belgique people.
DAZ
PS - With the overall cost of a ring weekend including petrol, tyres, brakes, depreciation, hotel, BEER etc.... I now take the approach of paying an exhorbitant amount extra and using the tunnel (means I arrive in my bed 1 hour earlier on the return leg).
I have taken a 996tt (lower than a regular 911) on the chunnel and went on the upper deck necessitating the use of a ramp and it was fine. Another PHer I know has regularly taken a variety of 355 and 360 ferraris on the chunnel, so you shouldn't have a problem. At least I hope you don't as I have a Tuscan going to the Ring on a group trip to the Ring later this year.
Last ticket I bought was a 5 day return with set travel times and it cost £170. We came back 2 hours early on the sunday night and I think that meant a £30 suppliment on top.
DAZ
Last ticket I bought was a 5 day return with set travel times and it cost £170. We came back 2 hours early on the sunday night and I think that meant a £30 suppliment on top.
DAZ
dazren -- well there is a seperate club lounge that you go to, where they feed you and make you nice coffee and give you a nice bag of food to take onto the train.
the important bit is that you get straight onto the next train with no queues -- you go straight to the front of all the queus and straight onto the train. I think my record is thirty something minutes from french motorway to english motorway, including stopping to pick up my meal and fresh coffee ;-)
the important bit is that you get straight onto the next train with no queues -- you go straight to the front of all the queus and straight onto the train. I think my record is thirty something minutes from french motorway to english motorway, including stopping to pick up my meal and fresh coffee ;-)
Travel First class on the ferry (P&O of course) , it's the nicest way to cross the channel believe me.
The seacat makes you vomit if wind is equal or more than 1mph and the train stops under the sea for about 2 hours coz some fcuking refugee asylum/benefit seeker has made his way into one of the tunnels...
It's a shame that Hoverspeed stopped running the Hovercrafts , 25 mins and you were across (my mum and dad were on the day it set the record for fastest passenger vessel crossing of the channel - 22mins !)
Back to the point , first class on the ferry is brilliant you're first car on and first off , have your own lift so you dont have to smell all the lorry drivers farts on way down the crowded stairs and you can have as much champagne , coffee , tea , food as you like... tell them what you'd like fro the cafe and they'll get it all nicely presented and dished up just for you.
And before you start moaning about HM Cunts and excise read this !!!www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?f=23&h=0&t=25794
The seacat makes you vomit if wind is equal or more than 1mph and the train stops under the sea for about 2 hours coz some fcuking refugee asylum/benefit seeker has made his way into one of the tunnels...
It's a shame that Hoverspeed stopped running the Hovercrafts , 25 mins and you were across (my mum and dad were on the day it set the record for fastest passenger vessel crossing of the channel - 22mins !)
Back to the point , first class on the ferry is brilliant you're first car on and first off , have your own lift so you dont have to smell all the lorry drivers farts on way down the crowded stairs and you can have as much champagne , coffee , tea , food as you like... tell them what you'd like fro the cafe and they'll get it all nicely presented and dished up just for you.
And before you start moaning about HM Cunts and excise read this !!!www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?f=23&h=0&t=25794
Chunnel every time. Still can't see the atraction of Club tho' (how much extra does it cost BTW?). I always ask for the first available crossing at the ticket booth, dash into the Little Chef for a take away bacon sarnie & go to the boarding area. I reckon I'm normaly on the train 20 mins after leaving the motorway & I can live with that.
Looks like Chunnel may have to be investigated further....
To be honest, I've always taken the cheapest route, and I'd say my average weekend crossing price last year was £80/90. Most I paid was £109. Given I crossed the channel for motorsport reasons seven times last year, the saving does add up during the year. And I quite like the potential of having a relax and a snooze during the crossing before the final 1.5 hour drive back to base.
I've always found Eurotunnel to be significantly more expensive than ferries, and being a Scotsman, that counts for a lot
E
To be honest, I've always taken the cheapest route, and I'd say my average weekend crossing price last year was £80/90. Most I paid was £109. Given I crossed the channel for motorsport reasons seven times last year, the saving does add up during the year. And I quite like the potential of having a relax and a snooze during the crossing before the final 1.5 hour drive back to base.
I've always found Eurotunnel to be significantly more expensive than ferries, and being a Scotsman, that counts for a lot
E
Gassing Station | General Gassing [Archive] | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff