Witnessed the funniest thing just....
Discussion
I have just witnessed what can only be described as the funniest thing i have ever seen.
Picture this if you will.
Nice Sunny street in Uxbridge at Lunchtime, few girls around in usual jovial spirits outside Maccie D's.
There i am walking along the high street, around the corner comes one of those fatties that can't be arsed to walk anywhere because they are just too fat on one of those nice red Shopmobility things, now this one must have been freshly charged up cos he came round the corner with a fair amount of cornering speed, enough to be up on 2 wheels anyway, what ever happend to slow in fast out, this guy just didnt scrub any speed off at all !!
Now picture this, young kid with Mum, running amuck as they do in this part of the world (little ba5tards)gets in the flight path of Fattie on his scooter. He brakes (remember he's on 2 wheels at this point)he misses the Kid and in slow motion topples over sideways.
Did i stop and help, did i fluck, i was too busy pi55ing myself !!
Picture this if you will.
Nice Sunny street in Uxbridge at Lunchtime, few girls around in usual jovial spirits outside Maccie D's.
There i am walking along the high street, around the corner comes one of those fatties that can't be arsed to walk anywhere because they are just too fat on one of those nice red Shopmobility things, now this one must have been freshly charged up cos he came round the corner with a fair amount of cornering speed, enough to be up on 2 wheels anyway, what ever happend to slow in fast out, this guy just didnt scrub any speed off at all !!
Now picture this, young kid with Mum, running amuck as they do in this part of the world (little ba5tards)gets in the flight path of Fattie on his scooter. He brakes (remember he's on 2 wheels at this point)he misses the Kid and in slow motion topples over sideways.
Did i stop and help, did i fluck, i was too busy pi55ing myself !!
:clutchingmysideswithlaughteratthethought:
jimbro1000 said: Typical - nothing remotely interesting happens in Uxbridge for ages and when it does I miss it....
Don't fancy the odds of catching anything like that again. *grumble*
V.funny though. thanks for sharing
where in UXB are you Jimbro ??
Like the pic in your profile, is that Castle Coombe
behing the car ??
Hughesie2
One of the funniest things i saw was when in Miami...
Got off the plane, thinking Buff's gonna score tonight!! (women are VERY good looking over there), however then saw the size of the blokes!! Yea gods man they're massive!!!
Anyway, waiting for the plane home, outside in a cafe on the main strip infront of the beach, watching the totty wander back and forth (having no luck the night before), when one of said pumped up "bowling balls for biceps" miami blokes crosses the road in a golf trolley with a plastic roof, and drives over the grass under a number of big trees, looking very cool....
Next thing i saw, the roof of the buggy had caught a branch of one of the trees under it, stopping the buggy in its tracks but tipping it upwards so the bloke hovers at about about a 60' angle fora bout 15 seconds, before being unceremoniously dumped off the back of his golf trolley!!!!
Cue a load of american voiced "oh my gawd - is he alraight??" and three manic english lads in absolute hysterics at seeing something even Morecambe and Wise couldn't have made any more funny, grabbing their cmeras and running over to take photos of the guys' predicament!!
He spent the next few embaressing moments dragging the buggy out of tree with drive still engaged, before chasing it off, jumping in and zooming off!!
Made up for not pulling anyway.... nearly
And stil have the photos
Got off the plane, thinking Buff's gonna score tonight!! (women are VERY good looking over there), however then saw the size of the blokes!! Yea gods man they're massive!!!
Anyway, waiting for the plane home, outside in a cafe on the main strip infront of the beach, watching the totty wander back and forth (having no luck the night before), when one of said pumped up "bowling balls for biceps" miami blokes crosses the road in a golf trolley with a plastic roof, and drives over the grass under a number of big trees, looking very cool....
Next thing i saw, the roof of the buggy had caught a branch of one of the trees under it, stopping the buggy in its tracks but tipping it upwards so the bloke hovers at about about a 60' angle fora bout 15 seconds, before being unceremoniously dumped off the back of his golf trolley!!!!
Cue a load of american voiced "oh my gawd - is he alraight??" and three manic english lads in absolute hysterics at seeing something even Morecambe and Wise couldn't have made any more funny, grabbing their cmeras and running over to take photos of the guys' predicament!!
He spent the next few embaressing moments dragging the buggy out of tree with drive still engaged, before chasing it off, jumping in and zooming off!!
Made up for not pulling anyway.... nearly
And stil have the photos
plotloss said: Once on a bus in Tooting.
Bus starts pulling away from the bus stop.
Cheap running and shouting and bang on the side of the bus to get it to stop.
SMACK!
Straight into the bus shelter and on the ground.
I always see the funniest shit.
Was on Pubic transport once and a smart ares kid was giving it large all the way, when it was his turn to come off the driver opened the doors just as the bus was almost stationary, similar thing to you plotloss, sept the kid went smashing into the bus shelter from a moving bus....
Ouch !!
Hughesie2 said:
where in UXB are you Jimbro ??
Like the pic in your profile, is that Castle Coombe
behing the car ??
Hughesie2
Actually live on the edge (thankfully) of West Drayton, just off Falling Lane.
And yes that is CC in the background of the picture - was an absolutely fantastic day, shame the engine lunched itself in practice on that occasion...
There is a really grumpy old dear has one of those buggy things here in Woodbridge, funniest day was when she ran out of battery power outside my mate's shop. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD...
All she did was sit there swearing loudly at the car behind (and us) for about 5 minutes...we did offer to help and push her to the side of the road...but were told to fcuk off and mind our own business.
She then decides to walk off (WTF?) leaving the buggy at the side of the road which was collected 30 mins later by her son.
Why did she have one? Lazy? I couldn't possibly comment!
All she did was sit there swearing loudly at the car behind (and us) for about 5 minutes...we did offer to help and push her to the side of the road...but were told to fcuk off and mind our own business.
She then decides to walk off (WTF?) leaving the buggy at the side of the road which was collected 30 mins later by her son.
Why did she have one? Lazy? I couldn't possibly comment!
lol I was playing football toaday when about 12 people piled into two very untastfully modded cars, the second was a 205 blacked out windows, single wiper which would push water into the drivers line of sight rater than remove it etc, being thrashed through a 40 zone the first suddenly decides to take the turning into the football pitch, the 205 tries to follow locks up the fronts, with full left lock on it ploughs straight on over the road across some gravel and the coner of the pitch finishing about 10cm infront of a metal fence surrounding the picth, sliding about 15m in total, followed by five people falling out the car looking very pale took about 10 minutes before we continued playing we were laughing so much
i remember when i used to live(and raced)in uxbridge,we were outside currys one friday night,waiting for the police in their unmarked astra and their 2 rs escorts to piss off from the station when a supamirrafury came round the bend by barclays/wh smiths and rather quickly started to accelerate toward the odeon end of the high street.a pair of cops were walking the other way and one decided to stop the driver by coming out from between 2 cars and standing in the 'stop' movement,the policeman was soon introduced to the view of uxbridge from about 10ft in the air as the guy didnt see him.
the cop didnt try that again! btw,this was in 1991,when there was PROPER racing,not the gay little bunch that hung around marjacks corner and regularly crashed on the same corner......205 burning on the corner of rockingham rd made a few of us laugh!.
the cop didnt try that again! btw,this was in 1991,when there was PROPER racing,not the gay little bunch that hung around marjacks corner and regularly crashed on the same corner......205 burning on the corner of rockingham rd made a few of us laugh!.
They don't do that in Uxbridge any more (apart from the fact there is no where left to do it thanks to heavy traffic). No instead they go over to stockley park and use the main roundabout off falling lane as a mini oval. It's a natural ampitheatre, away from residential areas and actually pretty good at keeping the noise down. The police more or less let them get away with it too - or they did until late last year when it started getting out of hand...
Was great fun trying to pull out of the entrance onto the roundabout - had to race 4 plebs in their bolt-on-wheelie-bins in order to go anywhere, not suprisingly they were pretty clueless on how to go fast and were understeering all over the place (could have been a side effect of all the extra plastic the cars had fitted)
Was great fun trying to pull out of the entrance onto the roundabout - had to race 4 plebs in their bolt-on-wheelie-bins in order to go anywhere, not suprisingly they were pretty clueless on how to go fast and were understeering all over the place (could have been a side effect of all the extra plastic the cars had fitted)
I remember when I lived on the Uxbridge Road in Hayes and was walking down to the shops to get a paper one morning. There was a level crossing by a (VAG?) garage and suddenly a 'kin gorgeous blonde in a short white tennis skirt appears riding a bike.
With her not acually sitting on her skirt and waving her bum high in the air leaving every red blooded male having fantasies, 2 cars went into each other on the eastbound carriageway and three on the westbound. Wonder what they told their insurers?!!
I still remember her as my 'ideal' girlfriend, rather like all the others who saw her that morning!!!!
With her not acually sitting on her skirt and waving her bum high in the air leaving every red blooded male having fantasies, 2 cars went into each other on the eastbound carriageway and three on the westbound. Wonder what they told their insurers?!!
I still remember her as my 'ideal' girlfriend, rather like all the others who saw her that morning!!!!
Bank ho weekend, waiting in car for wife to buy sweets etc, petrol garage very busy, lady and car full of grannies drives up, she jumps out, realises the petrol cap is on the wrong side of her car to the pump, rather then reverse and back out to wait for the next pump on the right side, she tries to drive through the small gap between the pumps.
Fair enough , tight but a normal driver should be able to do so just about. But said Numpty manovers herself back and forth not putting enough lock on wheels so in the end she is blocking the pump she was on and now stuck inbetween pumps.
She keeps going back wards and forwards about 6 inches each time, but no wheel lock and thus she is stuck.
About 15 cars and me are watching in amazement at this numpty making it worse for herself and getting stuck. In the end a nice bloke offered to drive her car out from between the pumps for her.
The whole garage was pi'sing with laughter. I made sure I left before she had finished filling up as there was no way i wanted to be anywhere near that numpty. Sapcial awareness, car control. More chance of petrol tax coming down.
Fair enough , tight but a normal driver should be able to do so just about. But said Numpty manovers herself back and forth not putting enough lock on wheels so in the end she is blocking the pump she was on and now stuck inbetween pumps.
She keeps going back wards and forwards about 6 inches each time, but no wheel lock and thus she is stuck.
About 15 cars and me are watching in amazement at this numpty making it worse for herself and getting stuck. In the end a nice bloke offered to drive her car out from between the pumps for her.
The whole garage was pi'sing with laughter. I made sure I left before she had finished filling up as there was no way i wanted to be anywhere near that numpty. Sapcial awareness, car control. More chance of petrol tax coming down.
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