Help, advice please Friends
Discussion
Sorry for the false addy but people who know me read this board. This is not the type of post I would normally make but I’ve had a few so here goes. Short and sweet really. I’m suffering from job related stress at the moment. It’s bad. Very bad. The job is well paid. I just don’t know what to do …… 
I feel that if I don’t quit then I may be Ill. I used to laugh at people with stress. Not any more…….
Advice please friends …
I feel that if I don’t quit then I may be Ill. I used to laugh at people with stress. Not any more……. Advice please friends …
My advice would be to speak to your nearest and dearest - wife, g/friend etc to get it off your chest - and then after that, speak to your boss.
You don't say what type of business you're in but most large companies have steps in place to cope with this sort of thing (and to help you too).
If you're in a small co set up then things may not be so easy and you may need the cooperation and understanding of partners and business associates to rectify the situation.
But the first thing to do is SPEAK to SOMEONE - which is what you've done here.
Best of luck.
IMO stress can easily lead to depression and that's one place you don't want to go.
Edited because of spelling ...
>> Edited by MikeyT on Friday 28th March 21:17
You don't say what type of business you're in but most large companies have steps in place to cope with this sort of thing (and to help you too).
If you're in a small co set up then things may not be so easy and you may need the cooperation and understanding of partners and business associates to rectify the situation.
But the first thing to do is SPEAK to SOMEONE - which is what you've done here.
Best of luck.
IMO stress can easily lead to depression and that's one place you don't want to go.
Edited because of spelling ...
>> Edited by MikeyT on Friday 28th March 21:17
Damn, I've seen family members go through that - my sympathies. A couple of questions: Is it workload? People? Unhappy with the type of work? Do you work for a company that is hard nosed abouth these things? Do you feel you could talk in confidence with the HR people?
Lots of people have moments/periods like you are having now. Talking about it will help you find a solution...
Lots of people have moments/periods like you are having now. Talking about it will help you find a solution...
Can't advise, only sympathise. My girlfriend is in the same boat; I wish I could do something about it but I can't.
I moaned about my job on here recently: several people told me to shut up and get on with it, or leave.
You only work to live, you don't live to work. In my case the stress isn't THAT bad, just lots of daft things that add up (plus maybe the onset of middle age
).
So... find another job (that's what everyone told me, even though it's not that simple!!) or, have a few beers, thank your stars you're not being shot at right now, and with luck tomorrow will bring a lotto win.
Roger
I moaned about my job on here recently: several people told me to shut up and get on with it, or leave.
You only work to live, you don't live to work. In my case the stress isn't THAT bad, just lots of daft things that add up (plus maybe the onset of middle age
). So... find another job (that's what everyone told me, even though it's not that simple!!) or, have a few beers, thank your stars you're not being shot at right now, and with luck tomorrow will bring a lotto win.
Roger
I've not experienced being so stressed myself, but I know a man who has. You've taken the first step in acknowledging it to your friends. I'm with MikeyT on this one. We'll all sympathise, but you need to talk to someone with a bit more power over the situation.
If you're in a big organisation HR is the way to go (especially if your line manager is a contributary factor.) Sometimes HR suggest moving people sideways to get them away from stressful environments, this might not feel like a positive move at the time but as Roger said you have to work to live, not live to work.
If it's a smaller organisation then it's not as easy, but you owe it to yourself and your colleagues to speak up before the situation becomes one you can't exercise your own influence over.
If you're in a big organisation HR is the way to go (especially if your line manager is a contributary factor.) Sometimes HR suggest moving people sideways to get them away from stressful environments, this might not feel like a positive move at the time but as Roger said you have to work to live, not live to work.
If it's a smaller organisation then it's not as easy, but you owe it to yourself and your colleagues to speak up before the situation becomes one you can't exercise your own influence over.
roger mclittriss said:
You only work to live, you don't live to work.
Roger
Never a truer word. (OK words)
I went through this a while ago, not an easy time.
The key I found was make a conscious effort to switch off at the end of the day (or during if you can get away with it!) and forget about work.
Have some time for yourself.
There is nothing you can do about work when you are not there, so don't allow yourself to start thinking about work related matters out of work hours.
If you are feeeling "hemmed-in" or having a black day, just find yourself a "reset task". What I mean by that is something that you can complete easily & with no chance of some fcukwit coming along and messing up. Choose something that had a clearly defined start, a process and a clearly defined end. My one is making a decent cuppa. I use this as a reset if I am feeling like whatever I do is not having any or much effect. I can look at the cuppa and think "I did that".
There are probably now those of you who have not been in this situation thinking WTF? Don't knock if til you have been there and tried it.
The other thing is to remember "Seagull Management"
Your manager flies in, flaps alot, makes some noise, covers you in sh1t than flies out again!
I hope things improve for you.
Best wishes
Chris
I agree, speak with your HR manager and see if they can improve your job for you. If not, and you feel that the job is causing high levels of undue/unfair stress then you could always threaten legal action until something is done.
I have done a syudy in work-related stress and found that in the US, "Currently, health care costs account for approximately 12 percent of the gross domestic product, escalating yearly. In terms of lost hours due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, and workers' compensation benefits, stress costs American industry more than $300 billion annually, or $7,500 per worker per year."
It is becoming a widely recognised fact that Stress isn't a psychological problem a few people suffer from, and more likely than not, your managers would be willing to do something about it if the problem is brought to their attention.
I have done a syudy in work-related stress and found that in the US, "Currently, health care costs account for approximately 12 percent of the gross domestic product, escalating yearly. In terms of lost hours due to absenteeism, reduced productivity, and workers' compensation benefits, stress costs American industry more than $300 billion annually, or $7,500 per worker per year."
It is becoming a widely recognised fact that Stress isn't a psychological problem a few people suffer from, and more likely than not, your managers would be willing to do something about it if the problem is brought to their attention.
The first thing is to recognise the problem, which you have done. That often seems to be the biggest hurdle.
As everyone else has said speak about it either to family or go to your GP, they are there for such things and currently they are being requested to take stress and other mental health issues very seriously, they will help. If the GP/family route is not there you could consider a volunteer group, Samaritans for example, they can put you in touch with other groups if need be.
If the root of the stress is definetly work related try discussing it with your employer (HR department if it is abig organisation). Again the may be able to help. Most important thing is not to bottle it up.
I hope things get better.
Twit
As everyone else has said speak about it either to family or go to your GP, they are there for such things and currently they are being requested to take stress and other mental health issues very seriously, they will help. If the GP/family route is not there you could consider a volunteer group, Samaritans for example, they can put you in touch with other groups if need be.
If the root of the stress is definetly work related try discussing it with your employer (HR department if it is abig organisation). Again the may be able to help. Most important thing is not to bottle it up.
I hope things get better.
Twit
Speak to you boss about it. I've seen far too many people resign from their jobs only to have their managers express surprise and regret that it had to end like that.
Managers are often left in the dark about how people who work for them are actually feeling, and any boss worth his or her salt is going to want to help make things better for you.
Good luck.
>> Edited by Bonce on Friday 28th March 21:47
Managers are often left in the dark about how people who work for them are actually feeling, and any boss worth his or her salt is going to want to help make things better for you.
Good luck.
>> Edited by Bonce on Friday 28th March 21:47
I have a mad job when it comes to stress. Fortunately the company I work for know this and whilst they can't change the job they did get me a stress management one to one with a consultant that helped loads.
Basic rules :-
Never miss lunch, never lunch at your desk. Even if its only 10 mins to get a sandwich, do it and eat it somewhere other than your desk.
Walk slowly when going from meeting to meeting etc. You wouldn't believe what difference this makes.
Look at your commute. I walk to the train station each day, takes 10 mins longer but gives me a chance to wind up and down at the start and end of the day.
Mail me through my profile if thats all too generic.
Basic rules :-
Never miss lunch, never lunch at your desk. Even if its only 10 mins to get a sandwich, do it and eat it somewhere other than your desk.
Walk slowly when going from meeting to meeting etc. You wouldn't believe what difference this makes.
Look at your commute. I walk to the train station each day, takes 10 mins longer but gives me a chance to wind up and down at the start and end of the day.
Mail me through my profile if thats all too generic.
Id go with the rest of whats been said mate. I can see where youre coming from, cos ive been there myself , manytimes.
Get it off your chest by speaking to someone you trust, if that means the boss or whoever, do it.
Youll do yourself no good otherwise, take it from me.
Whatever it is thats winding you up needs to be addressed, itll just rip you up otherwise.
Its no fun being out of work because of it...again ive been there before and am now.
I wish you the very best of luck getting it sorted.
Get it off your chest by speaking to someone you trust, if that means the boss or whoever, do it.
Youll do yourself no good otherwise, take it from me.
Whatever it is thats winding you up needs to be addressed, itll just rip you up otherwise.
Its no fun being out of work because of it...again ive been there before and am now.
I wish you the very best of luck getting it sorted.
Your response to this should take your circumstances into account.
Employees with stress related illness aren't the pick of the bunch when it comes to promotion, so if you want to climb the ladder, speak to family/GP/samaritans first, no matter how well you get along with the boss.
If you are happy at your current position, but have specific problems with your job speak to your manager.
If the manager is the problem, speak to HR.
In any event, discuss this with anyone who'll listen - as long as they aren't able to share what they hear to anyone involved!
Sharing this here was a good start.Try to remember that a problem shared is a problem halved, though it may not feel like that straight away.
Generally speaking, when confronted with a situation like this the following may help;
Try writing down exactly what is bothering you and why. Brainstorm it, to use a bit of business lingo.
Break your routine at home and, if possible, at work - as doing something different allows you to take a step back and get a new perspective on the problem.
All the best with this, and I hope it all works out for you!
Employees with stress related illness aren't the pick of the bunch when it comes to promotion, so if you want to climb the ladder, speak to family/GP/samaritans first, no matter how well you get along with the boss.
If you are happy at your current position, but have specific problems with your job speak to your manager.
If the manager is the problem, speak to HR.
In any event, discuss this with anyone who'll listen - as long as they aren't able to share what they hear to anyone involved!
Sharing this here was a good start.Try to remember that a problem shared is a problem halved, though it may not feel like that straight away.
Generally speaking, when confronted with a situation like this the following may help;
Try writing down exactly what is bothering you and why. Brainstorm it, to use a bit of business lingo.
Break your routine at home and, if possible, at work - as doing something different allows you to take a step back and get a new perspective on the problem.
All the best with this, and I hope it all works out for you!
Better poor than dead. If it's a temporary condition go to doc and get on prozac. Otherwise GET HELP. I did and it turned my life around. People are always asking me why I'm so happy - I think I'm a miserable git; so a lot of people are much more troubled. I t may take what seems like an age but developing a positive attitude to life will save you. Good luck and do something right now.
First of all, you are not alone, this is far too common these days so don't go kicking yourself that you can't hack it..
Secondly, you've done two very important things right. You've recognised you have an issue that you need to deal with, and you've gone for help.
All the advice here so far is good, but you have to think about which bit of advice is right for you and your situation. Speaking to your boss could be the best thing you'll ever do if your boss is good. If your boss isn't so good you might not be able to do that so don't rush into it.
What I would do is talk to your GP and get them to sign you off for a fortnight with a bad back, (or something similar). Quite a few will do this and I'd suggest trying this if you can. If you can't then go with stress, but the important thing is to get yourself a fortnights respite. Use that time to work out exactly what it is that is going on for you right now. If you are in the middle of it, you'll not be able to see the wood from the trees; hence getting yourself some distance..
Stress tends to work like the proverbial straw and the camels back. A certain amount of it is actually good, but one straw too many and you have a problem. You need to try to work out what all these straws are. Some of them could be lousy pay and/or conditions, maybe you are working in the wrong field and feel trapped, or maybe you are working with a bunch of twats who are making life hell.
Once you've got all those bits sorted out, (bung them down on a few big sheets of paper just so you've got them), dig a little deeper and look at the causes. Don't worry about fixing it, that comes later. 1st you really need to know what the problem is.
Next thing, brainstorm a few ideas to address each problem. If you are in the wrong field, thats fixable; look elsewhere. Might take a long time, but there will be people around who can help with recruitment elsewhere or lateral moves if the company is big enough. Same goes for any other problems..
Don't worry about how sensible the ideas are right now; just get a few down on paper. Once you've got them on paper, you'll see a few links and hopefully see a couple of common ideas that might help you.
You need to make a couple of decisions once you've had a good think about why you are where you are and what you might be able to do about it. Key thing is, the decisions are only good if you take consistent action as a result of them and they need to be firm. For example, stop thinking I wish I had a different job, or I'd love to work somwhere else; start thinking I'm going to get another job by the summer.
You've maybe heard of SMART action plans? IMHO, they are too limiting.. If I was happy with achievable and realistic I'd not be driving a TVR now. I refused to limit myself and thought Awesome and Ridiculous. I'm really not trying to get all management guru/life coach on you, but just trying to get you to not discount options just yet. The other thing is that you only achieve what you aim at so don't lower your standards and expectations. Get unreasonable; adapt the world to you, not the other way around.
Once you've got the options you need to plan how you are going to achieve the goals. Its taken a while to get into this position at work, so it may well take a while to get out. You will only get out when you know where it is that you want to aim at.
Last thing, you can probably get some good advice from HR if your company is good enough. If you don't feel able to go that way and want some help, mail me off line. I am by training a psychologist and may well be able to find someone in your area that can help..
Secondly, you've done two very important things right. You've recognised you have an issue that you need to deal with, and you've gone for help.
All the advice here so far is good, but you have to think about which bit of advice is right for you and your situation. Speaking to your boss could be the best thing you'll ever do if your boss is good. If your boss isn't so good you might not be able to do that so don't rush into it.
What I would do is talk to your GP and get them to sign you off for a fortnight with a bad back, (or something similar). Quite a few will do this and I'd suggest trying this if you can. If you can't then go with stress, but the important thing is to get yourself a fortnights respite. Use that time to work out exactly what it is that is going on for you right now. If you are in the middle of it, you'll not be able to see the wood from the trees; hence getting yourself some distance..
Stress tends to work like the proverbial straw and the camels back. A certain amount of it is actually good, but one straw too many and you have a problem. You need to try to work out what all these straws are. Some of them could be lousy pay and/or conditions, maybe you are working in the wrong field and feel trapped, or maybe you are working with a bunch of twats who are making life hell.
Once you've got all those bits sorted out, (bung them down on a few big sheets of paper just so you've got them), dig a little deeper and look at the causes. Don't worry about fixing it, that comes later. 1st you really need to know what the problem is.
Next thing, brainstorm a few ideas to address each problem. If you are in the wrong field, thats fixable; look elsewhere. Might take a long time, but there will be people around who can help with recruitment elsewhere or lateral moves if the company is big enough. Same goes for any other problems..
Don't worry about how sensible the ideas are right now; just get a few down on paper. Once you've got them on paper, you'll see a few links and hopefully see a couple of common ideas that might help you.
You need to make a couple of decisions once you've had a good think about why you are where you are and what you might be able to do about it. Key thing is, the decisions are only good if you take consistent action as a result of them and they need to be firm. For example, stop thinking I wish I had a different job, or I'd love to work somwhere else; start thinking I'm going to get another job by the summer.
You've maybe heard of SMART action plans? IMHO, they are too limiting.. If I was happy with achievable and realistic I'd not be driving a TVR now. I refused to limit myself and thought Awesome and Ridiculous. I'm really not trying to get all management guru/life coach on you, but just trying to get you to not discount options just yet. The other thing is that you only achieve what you aim at so don't lower your standards and expectations. Get unreasonable; adapt the world to you, not the other way around.
Once you've got the options you need to plan how you are going to achieve the goals. Its taken a while to get into this position at work, so it may well take a while to get out. You will only get out when you know where it is that you want to aim at.
Last thing, you can probably get some good advice from HR if your company is good enough. If you don't feel able to go that way and want some help, mail me off line. I am by training a psychologist and may well be able to find someone in your area that can help..
Psychobert said: You've maybe heard of SMART action plans? IMHO, they are too limiting.. If I was happy with achievable and realistic I'd not be driving a TVR now. I refused to limit myself and thought Awesome and Ridiculous... you only achieve what you aim at so don't lower your standards and expectations. Get unreasonable; adapt the world to you, not the other way around.
A man after my own heart! This is a passage from a book I love - "Kiss or Kill" by Mark Twight, one of the best Alpine climbers in the world. It was deliberately ott, but it certainly made me think.
"What's your problem? I think I know. You see it in the mirror every morning. You know it's not supposed to be like this. You're haunted because you remember having something more. With each drag of the razor you ask yourself why you piss your blood into another man's cup. Working at the job he offered, your future is between his thumb and forefinger. And the necessary accessories, the proclamations of successs you thought gave you stability provide your boss security. Your debt encourages acquiescence, the heavy mortgage makes you polite.
Aren't you sick of being tempted by an alternative lifestyle, but bound by chains of your own choosing? Of the gnawing doubt that the college graduate, path of least resistance is the right way for you-forever? Each weekend you prepare for the two weeks each summer when you wake up each day and really ride, or climb, or ski; the only imperative being to go to bed tired. When booming thermals shoot you full of juice and your Vario shreiks 7m/sec, you wonder if the ropes will hold. The risk pares away life's trivia. Up there, sucking down the thin cumulus, the earth looks small, the boss even smaller, and you wish it could go on forever..."
Psychobert is the master!!! 
I've been through this myself.. the 2 week break is a good idea even if you don't consciously resolve anything. Let's put it this way, I'd had enough so I booked 2 weeks off. Did nothing. Sat at home a bit, thought, had no timetable, saw a few friends, talked to people, relaxed, watched some telly, washed the car etc.. lots of non-work, non-stress activities. Oh - I might have had the odd smoke.
When I got back to work, I strode in feeling great, upto my desk in this open plan city office, looked around at the grey faced IT centurions and said,
"Frankly, I was hoping some of you poeple would be gone when I got back!!!".
Then I sat down and read email.
Simple message: Those who know or understand me may approach me. Those who have fcuked with me or are intimidated by me should stay out of my way.
Work changed that day.
Of course, I had nothing to lose. I had no promotion aspirations in that company - the management hierarchy was one of grotesque buttlicking pas-de-clues. I knew that I'd go, but I would do it when I was good and ready.
This is of course to take advantage of the inertia of large corporations - experience has taught me that I'd be out on my arse in a smaller company
I've been through this myself.. the 2 week break is a good idea even if you don't consciously resolve anything. Let's put it this way, I'd had enough so I booked 2 weeks off. Did nothing. Sat at home a bit, thought, had no timetable, saw a few friends, talked to people, relaxed, watched some telly, washed the car etc.. lots of non-work, non-stress activities. Oh - I might have had the odd smoke.
When I got back to work, I strode in feeling great, upto my desk in this open plan city office, looked around at the grey faced IT centurions and said,
"Frankly, I was hoping some of you poeple would be gone when I got back!!!". Then I sat down and read email.
Simple message: Those who know or understand me may approach me. Those who have fcuked with me or are intimidated by me should stay out of my way.
Work changed that day.
Of course, I had nothing to lose. I had no promotion aspirations in that company - the management hierarchy was one of grotesque buttlicking pas-de-clues. I knew that I'd go, but I would do it when I was good and ready.
This is of course to take advantage of the inertia of large corporations - experience has taught me that I'd be out on my arse in a smaller company
I feel for you.
I had a good job which generally got loaded with extra responsibility until the stress got so bad I found myself cowering behind a car in the car park crying.
I went to HR - they sent a lad from another office to help out on a temp basis.
Two months later - that lad is doing my job and I was made redundant. I was gutted at losing my job but with time, I realised it was beneficial to me as it completely removed the stress. I had a month to work my notice, I made sure my lads got their wages but other than that, I did no work at all but managed to find another job to walk straight into.
It's going to be testing times but you must do something to reduce the stress - like what's been said above, discuss with friend, doctor, HR or just leave.
I had a good job which generally got loaded with extra responsibility until the stress got so bad I found myself cowering behind a car in the car park crying.
I went to HR - they sent a lad from another office to help out on a temp basis.
Two months later - that lad is doing my job and I was made redundant. I was gutted at losing my job but with time, I realised it was beneficial to me as it completely removed the stress. I had a month to work my notice, I made sure my lads got their wages but other than that, I did no work at all but managed to find another job to walk straight into.
It's going to be testing times but you must do something to reduce the stress - like what's been said above, discuss with friend, doctor, HR or just leave.
I had a similar problem got totally p*ssed off and left. After over 2 years self employed am going for an interview to get back to the same job (higher paid than before).
Before even applying I had to some serious thinking. In fact I'm going back for a different reason its to improve my business and the job will only be part of my life. (and income)
My advice is:
a) NO job is worth it. Make youself the promise that if you get too p*ssed off you'll leave.
b) If you never say NO what is your yes worth?
c) Every day make time to yourself. Its worth it.
d) Before you go to sleep read a bit of a book (I prefer fantasy or science fiction) and believe it or not I recommend a glass of milk. I found I was always over stressed if I didn't get a good nights sleep.
e) Talk about work should be a release not a compounder ie don't moan about work and get someone else in the same job doing the same it don't help. Better to talk to someone outside who helps to put it back into prospective.
Lastly YOU ARE NOT ALONE if you want to have a good moan feel free to do it here.
Hope that helps
Before even applying I had to some serious thinking. In fact I'm going back for a different reason its to improve my business and the job will only be part of my life. (and income)
My advice is:
a) NO job is worth it. Make youself the promise that if you get too p*ssed off you'll leave.
b) If you never say NO what is your yes worth?
c) Every day make time to yourself. Its worth it.
d) Before you go to sleep read a bit of a book (I prefer fantasy or science fiction) and believe it or not I recommend a glass of milk. I found I was always over stressed if I didn't get a good nights sleep.
e) Talk about work should be a release not a compounder ie don't moan about work and get someone else in the same job doing the same it don't help. Better to talk to someone outside who helps to put it back into prospective.
Lastly YOU ARE NOT ALONE if you want to have a good moan feel free to do it here.
Hope that helps
Yep, I've been in your spot. Psychobert was right on with his advice. You definitely need to get some distance to see things clearly and maybe figure out what you can and can't change about the situation. But really, the changes you need depend on what kind of life you want. I had a job where I was just driven mad by all the stupid piddling problems we had, and the work was totally mindless, so, I um left and went to grad school... BUT! before that, I remember a lot of political intrigue and unethical stuff I was trying to fight against bigger powers that be, and it was both insurmountable from my peon position and also very taxing on my health. Being angry for 3 years will wear you down. So will anxiety. And then I was very sad for a long time....But enough about me. In your time off, I recommend you rent the movie "Office Space", but do not follow any of its examples!! It will cheer you up. In the mean time, remember that you are not trapped, that you can find a different job if you don't like this one. Similar to what was said earlier, it's better to be poor than to dread every day. Even if you have a bit of a rough spot between jobs, have hope for yourself. You did get this job, afterall, there's others out there that you could have also gotten. Another thing, if you tell your MD or GP or whatever about your worries, don't be concerned that they will abruptly put you on some drug. They won't. Just keep a lookout for when anxiety or dreading work, or sadness starts to interfere with your functioning (like it takes much longer to complete regular tasks, tired all the time, etc) then you know if it's a problem that you can't do by just changing tasks. Sometimes these things can be handled without prozac, or whatever, but other times, when in goes on for long enough and it's severe enough, people can't get back to normal on their own. Lots of people get worn down like this, and can't figure out how to cope until it becomes a medical problem and they have to get help. And that's OK too. Get feedback from the doc because you can't really monitor yourself.
"you only achieve what you aim at so don't lower your standards and expectations." Spot on as was the rest of your post.
The only thing is, you have to be a certain type of person to suceed with that approach.
A close colleague of mine had a similar problem. He was the last person I expected to suffer like this but he did. I must admit, his perception of stressful work was very different to mine but clearly everyone has a different reaction to different levels of pressure.
Anyway, he went to see his GP who put him onto a counsellour. The sessions made him worse - they made him think of problems he never really knew he had. All sorts of stuff came out and he went further into depression. The fix was to have support from his employer (me) and to have plenty of time to chill out and put things into perspective.
I've had very, very stressful jobs in the past and my current job is reasonably stressful but mainly because I have lots of ambition - so it's self-induced. The fact the pressure orginates from my own standards helps me to deal with it in a better way. I find it helps to remember that you always have options - change jobs, change lifestyle, work abroad, etc, etc.
Also, sorry to go on, but put things into perspective : Iraq, 3rd world, cancer, etc. I don't use other peoples misfortune as a crutch but it does make me realise how lucky I really am and to make the most of any opportunity.
I won't suggest specific advise as I don't know enough about you or your situation but I would be wary of counsellors unless you're sure you want to delve deep into your past. I think I'd crack up if I had someone try and dig up all my skeletons!
All the best
Dan
The only thing is, you have to be a certain type of person to suceed with that approach.
A close colleague of mine had a similar problem. He was the last person I expected to suffer like this but he did. I must admit, his perception of stressful work was very different to mine but clearly everyone has a different reaction to different levels of pressure.
Anyway, he went to see his GP who put him onto a counsellour. The sessions made him worse - they made him think of problems he never really knew he had. All sorts of stuff came out and he went further into depression. The fix was to have support from his employer (me) and to have plenty of time to chill out and put things into perspective.
I've had very, very stressful jobs in the past and my current job is reasonably stressful but mainly because I have lots of ambition - so it's self-induced. The fact the pressure orginates from my own standards helps me to deal with it in a better way. I find it helps to remember that you always have options - change jobs, change lifestyle, work abroad, etc, etc.
Also, sorry to go on, but put things into perspective : Iraq, 3rd world, cancer, etc. I don't use other peoples misfortune as a crutch but it does make me realise how lucky I really am and to make the most of any opportunity.
I won't suggest specific advise as I don't know enough about you or your situation but I would be wary of counsellors unless you're sure you want to delve deep into your past. I think I'd crack up if I had someone try and dig up all my skeletons!
All the best
Dan
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