When did the world go mad?

[big_man]

My mum is head teacher at a nursery school and you would not believe the document she recieved today;

I can't remember all of the stupid things it said but here are a few.

My mum and her staff are to:

"Reduce infant mortality" (no really, it did actually say that)
"Get the parents to breast feed children"
"Make sure children recieve a healthy diet at home"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this ludicrousy. The fact that it was the council who produced the document is worrying.

So basically the parents just breed the children and the nurseries and schools are supposed to raise them?!

The world is turning becoming over-run with paper and political correctness. Should we not be more concerned about other issues like the war? The fecked up actions of Mugabe in Zimbabwe? To name but a few.

Hopefully one day I will be rich enough to buy my own Island with a golf course for my dad and a race track with a garage of supercars. Then I can live there with the people of my choice and shut myself of from the idiots who run our planet.

[judas]

When you get your island, will you take pity on those left behind and offer asylum to your fellow Pistonheaders?

[big_man]

I think I could manage that! Bear in mind I'm only 19 so it'll be a while before I can afford a decent island.

[corozin]

"Reduce infant mortality" (no really, it did actually say that)
"Get the parents to breast feed children"
"Make sure children recieve a healthy diet at home"

I think this calls for a bit of suitably deployed stupidity. Perhaps the school could write an anonymous letter responding to these points in turn. So:

"Reduce infant mortality"
Are you sure? We brutally murdered 4 children last year, mostly at the requests of thier own families who couldn't afford to feed them any more... would I be correct in assuming then that for the purposes of the target killing just 3 this year will be ok with you lot?

"Get the parents to breast feed children"
I must admit we did ask the parents about that, but in all honesty quite a few told us that 4 year olds were really a bit old to still be sucking on mommas tits.

"Make sure children recieve a healthy diet at home"
We did try to enforce this one by spot checking random addresses at 6:30pm... we kinda failed there, the Lamb Phalls was lovely though. We tried to give them lentils, but they just sprinkled them on the Pizza (that was ok too, if a little crunchy!)

[markqelise]

Big man - hurry up and get a good job - would like to be still able to drive when you hold a Piston Heads open day.

Crozin - LMAO

The people who produce this shite really do need thwir reproductive organs removed.

[scruffy]

I did prepare something witty (for me anyway...) but looking back - what is the point. As well as being a teacher (with absolutely no powers of discipline, hell you can't even shout without some fcukwit deeming it either racist or harmfull to growing/sensitive ears - and Allah forbid you should ever suggest they carry their own books - but it's actually fine for them to stab you in the eye with a pencil because in all fairness, you didn't actually say they weren't allowed, oh and spitting, and calling you a cnut, all fine - why is my sister now teaching in Quatar ...on 4 times the money..) you also now need to be the second coming, or at least a lower diety, carry 30 odd breast pumps just in case a child (bless) should get a tad hungry, and a meals on wheels operative with at least a post grad cert in nutrition. when the fcuk do these folks get a chance to breathe? Actually second thoughts, sod em, after all society has failed the poor shell suited scroungers so it's not actually their fault any more.

Don't start me on social workers..

>> Edited by scruffy on Tuesday 1st April 03:11

[boiler]

Hopefully one day I will be rich enough to buy my own Island with a golf course for my dad and a race track with a garage of supercars. Then I can live there with the people of my choice and shut myself of from the idiots who run our planet.

Just make sure you have a fair election once in the while for the job of head honcho. Failure to abide by this rule will result in either an invasion by coalition forces , or the compulsory introduction of speed cameras .

[bcms]

My mother teaches a class of special needs children with severe learning difficulties. Used to be fine until Ofsted inspection etc when the school was told that the kids weren't being taught all elements of the syllabus. She now has to teach them about politics and history amongst other things, when most of them can't even comprehend talking about a week ago and do well (seriously) if they can tie their shoe laces?!?!

[swilly]

bcms said: My mother teaches a class of special needs children with severe learning difficulties. Used to be fine until Ofsted inspection etc when the school was told that the kids weren't being taught all elements of the syllabus. She now has to teach them about politics and history amongst other things, when most of them can't even comprehend talking about a week ago and do well (seriously) if they can tie their shoe laces?!?!

tut tut tut.....shouldn't discriminate against those who have difficulties. Labelling them as such will effect them for the rest of their lives.
Best ignore it and they'll get better.

Major Numpty-Smythe

[deltaf]

Lets face it, you aint gonna get a lot outa my titties...ya know?