O/T A poem to express my feelings...(By "Kate")

[S2N]

Estate Agents

Horrid nasty piles of poo
That is what I think of you
You're crap and shit and full of cack
You estate agents get right up my crack.

You have a house we want to buy
But all you do is cheat and lie
Your morals are back to front
You estate agents get right up my ****.

You dance round fires every night
Heads off chickens you do bite
You worship the anti-christ
And you're not very nice.

Estate agents can eat my ass
While a sneaky log I shall endeavour to pass
**** you estate agents, that's what I say
**** off, get lost, drop dead. Go away.

[Podie]

Move not going well?

[raceboy]

Don't get me started on Estate Agents, especially not the bint at Location who when she phones me up has the loudest most anoying voice, and if I don't answer to everything she says, she shouts "can you hear me!"

[markqelise]

Tell us something we did not know - Estate agents occupy the same sub levels as traffic wardens and jobsworth concil officials

[mybrainhurts]

A poem to express my feelings??

I've got one, too...............

Me, John Prescott

I’m Johnny Prescott
I eat pies
And beer is me swill
I’ve gorr an empty glass ‘ere lad
So gie us up a fill

When I gerrup
I’m full o’wind
I talk in garbled verse
You never know what I might mean
I’ve no time to rehearse

Me left hook’s good
I’ll take no guff
I’ll slap yer down right quick
I used to be a sailor
Now I’m just a big fat prick

Remember though, me hearty
When Tony is away
Me style is bold
And I’m in charge
You’ll do as you are told

I’ve got two Jags
And four homes too
I really am well heeled
I’m a working lad, you’d never know
I was born in a bloody field.


Ho, hum.................

[incorrigible]

Just got a call from one of these bs this morning telling me that our latest offer hasn't been accepted, a couple of points in the conversation

"We didn't really think you were in with a good chance"

So why did you fg string me along all fg week making sure I'd spoken to so many fg jobsworths to get a fg mortgage sorted out then

"We'll inform you if anything similar comes up"

What like fg last time when we saw the place in the fg paper and when we ring up to enquire you said

We didn't think that was in your price range

Think, think my fg arse, what about look at my fg details, I guess that's why you send us details of fg one bedroom flats when we've been asking for building plots or outbuildings/barns for conversion you bunce of fg cs

[plotloss]

Saw a house last year, liked it, didnt think it was worth the price (as told to me by a builder and a property developer). Called agents told them my offer and got told 'Im not even going to forward that to the vendor'. Politely informed him that it was in fact the law to forward on all offers cue a bit of abuse from him to me down goes the phone.

Thought about writing to whoever controls estate agents but couldnt be arsed.

Did a bit of investigation (), found out the vendors name and mobile number, called her direct, made the offer - which she didnt accept, told her why I was calling her direct.

Upshot of it all, she ditched the agent.

Score, I think.

Matt.

[bcms]

Estate Agents

Horrid nasty piles of poo
That is what I think of you
You're crap and shit and full of cack
You estate agents get right up my crack.

You have a house we want to buy
But all you do is cheat and lie
Your morals are back to front
You estate agents get right up my ****.

You dance round fires every night
Heads off chickens you do bite
You worship the anti-christ
And you're not very nice.

Estate agents can eat my ass
While a sneaky log I shall endeavour to pass
**** you estate agents, that's what I say
**** off, get lost, drop dead. Go away.

Sniffle, so beautiful, so touching

[mrsd]

Result Matt ! There are some decent agents out there honest but crap like that gives everyone a bad name.

"whoever controls estate agents"-that would, in fact, be no-one

[loaf]

fop's sake luv, stop beating around the bush and say what you mean! We'll never get anywhere with you sitting on the fence like that...

:ducksaslargeheavyobjectapproachesheadatlargerateofknots:

[raceboy]

Well just spoke to another one of the devils little wessels, asked her the internal size of a garage, and the reply from her "why do you want to know that" eventually managed to persuade her I may raise the offer I have on the property if the garage is bigger than I remember,

[S2N]

Ombudsman Estate Agents

[dick dastardly]

Thankyou, you just made me laugh my ass off. That's the best thing I've read in years!!!

[jvaughan]

S2N said: Ombudsman Estate Agents

This is a pile of shit ... Estate Agents donot have to subscribe to the Ombudsman's working practices.. it is pure opt in / opt out thing.
If your in, they you agree to abide by a set of codes agreed by guess who ?/ Estate Agents !!!!
if your out .. who gives a rats ass.
Its all to do with having letters after the name ...

I went the Ombudsman route years ago and it got me no where. if an agen cy is not a member, they dont care.

Romans IMO are another Bunch of Ws who Fed me around for months. I was told that "the didnt think properties were in my price range" how the F did they know my price range ? just because I dont wear a suit or talk with a posh accent FFW the lot of them. C

[davidd]

You will be amused to note that 'The Tucker Partnership' in Cambridge had all of the plate glass windows in both of it's shops smashed on Friday night (about 8 rather large shop windows). A small hammer sort of hole (hammer as in DIY not shark or MC)in the middle of each window.

Obviously they have upset someone.

D.

[CarZee]

Ten worst occupations:
You'd have to do pretty well to convince me you're not a ct if you're one of these...

1) Estate Agent
2) Recruitment Consultant
3) Car Salesman
4) Traffic Warden
5) Talivannist/Ken-charge-vannist
6) Parish Councillor
7) Club Doorman
8) Social Worker
9) Chancellor of the Exchequer
10) ...... my boss.



usual dislaimer apply - PHers not necessarily cts even if they have one of the occupations above. PHness transcends these petty labels..

Edit: D'Oh! Number 10 is me!!

>> Edited by CarZee (moderator) on Tuesday 8th April 16:03

[mrsd]

done/do 4 of the above

[raceboy]

So who's going to guess which 4?
My moneys on 1,2,6, & 9

>> Edited by raceboy on Tuesday 8th April 16:10

[CarZee]

mrsd said: done/do 4 of the above

hmm..

1) Estate Agent
2) Recruitment Consultant
3) Car Salesman
4) Traffic Warden
5) Talivannist/Ken-charge-vannist
6) Parish Councillor
7) Club Doorman
8) Social Worker
9) Chancellor of the Exchequer
10) ...... my boss.



or were you chancellor of the exchequer.. are you, in fact, Geoffrey Howe?

[jeremyc]

mrsd said: done/do 4 of the above

Let me guess, that's MrsD the:
7) Club Doorman
9) Chancellor of the Exchequer
5) Talivannist/Ken-charge-vannist
10) CarZee boss