Middle Lane M*rons - an explanation
Discussion
We all get hacked off with MLMs but there are apparently good scientific reasons why certain motorists stay in the middle lane rather than moving into the inside lane and freeing up the carriageway. Some feel it might be to do with their feeling safe and secure and not wishing to stand out from the crowd in the "medium" lane, the motoring equivalent of wearing fawn slacks. This is empirical rubbish. According to my mate Graham, who has studied the subject in great depth, it's because there are dragons in the inside lane.
I think it because they think that they will drive at 60mph. Therefore they need to be in the middle lane, because the general rule is (to motorists who have no interest in actually driving but just see it as a necessary evil to get from A to B)
1. The inside Lane is for Lorries (or those who are petrified and cannot exceed 50mph)
2. The middle lane is for them, as they are sensible and will do 60-70mph
3. The outside lane is for lunatics who risk life and limb travelling at 71mph or more, and after all, whilst the MLM remains in the middle lane, they believe there is a spare lane for those who want to go faster, to overtake.
1. The inside Lane is for Lorries (or those who are petrified and cannot exceed 50mph)
2. The middle lane is for them, as they are sensible and will do 60-70mph
3. The outside lane is for lunatics who risk life and limb travelling at 71mph or more, and after all, whilst the MLM remains in the middle lane, they believe there is a spare lane for those who want to go faster, to overtake.
jasandjules said:
1. The inside Lane is for Lorries (or those who are petrified and cannot exceed 50mph)
2. The middle lane is for them, as they are sensible and will do 60-70mph
3. The outside lane is for lunatics who risk life and limb travelling at 71mph or more, and after all, whilst the MLM remains in the middle lane, they believe there is a spare lane for those who want to go faster, to overtake.
2. The middle lane is for them, as they are sensible and will do 60-70mph
3. The outside lane is for lunatics who risk life and limb travelling at 71mph or more, and after all, whilst the MLM remains in the middle lane, they believe there is a spare lane for those who want to go faster, to overtake.
4. MLM has given up on life - they are travelling from one tedious place to another, possibly more tedious places. Driving is a chore in their Eurobox, and they would take the train if it wouldn't take them 3 times as long.
These people really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really get on my wick. As of course do the overtaking lane morons, but arguably there wouldn't be as many of them without the middle ones. Both types have no place on our motorways/DCs though really. I honestly think they're one of the biggest overall causes of road rage (and therefore accidents) on motorways/DCs.
I've noticed that on the M4 going into London, things get especially bad once you reach the stretch with the bus lane. The MLMs stay in the second lane, and there's now no way to pass them (legally) on the right. No amount of "communication" appears to do the trick. How can they possibly not realise that they're being inconsiderate when people keep having to pass them on the left? I'd love to know why they do it. I'd love it even more if the police clamped down on them. One of the many things we should try first before we even think about road pricing. But of course that would be too friendly to drivers (at least half-decent, non-passive-aggressive ones).
I've noticed that on the M4 going into London, things get especially bad once you reach the stretch with the bus lane. The MLMs stay in the second lane, and there's now no way to pass them (legally) on the right. No amount of "communication" appears to do the trick. How can they possibly not realise that they're being inconsiderate when people keep having to pass them on the left? I'd love to know why they do it. I'd love it even more if the police clamped down on them. One of the many things we should try first before we even think about road pricing. But of course that would be too friendly to drivers (at least half-decent, non-passive-aggressive ones).
Add 5. for OLM's.
5. OLM is the "enforcer". They will stay in the outside lane at the speed limit (except it always seems a bit less), and force you to undertake, or literally ram them out of the way. Absolute
s and the best advert ever for fitting James Bond style rockets to the front of your car
5. OLM is the "enforcer". They will stay in the outside lane at the speed limit (except it always seems a bit less), and force you to undertake, or literally ram them out of the way. Absolute
s and the best advert ever for fitting James Bond style rockets to the front of your carWhy couldn't you call yourself Hairye Dav. It's the Olde English version and it's rather quaint if you ask me. By the way, my dog's hairy (obviously) and his name is Dave. Spooky! In fact, are you actually my dog surfing the bloody internet from home?
Anyway there's some things best left unexplained and this is one of them. Just like the contents of that shed in Area 51, only those in the know realise the true significance of the * in M*ron. Don't ask questions that you might not like the answer to.
Anyway there's some things best left unexplained and this is one of them. Just like the contents of that shed in Area 51, only those in the know realise the true significance of the * in M*ron. Don't ask questions that you might not like the answer to.
Edited by andy zarse on Thursday 22 February 17:00
I remember a post recently where it was suggested that it may be possible to orbit around a middle lane 'occupier' by overtaking them, pulling into lane 1 when safe to do so, easing up gently, letting them overtake, then repeating said operation. The M180 would probably be a good place to engage in such a game as you get a fair few there and suitably empty conditions! A point is earnt for each complete revolution 
MLM- please -they're good sport ,especially on an empty motorway---breaks up the monotony - drive up L1 and sit just behind them (quite safe -there's the HS if MLM cuts you up/remembers that L1 exists).
Chances are if MLM is a Barvarian export and you're in something small/van it'll get embarressed by your presence and "discover "the throttle.Find that this works quite well for OLM ---but tend to give them more room / do it from L1.Usual OLM is large 4X4 ,X5/Disco or similar.
Chances are if MLM is a Barvarian export and you're in something small/van it'll get embarressed by your presence and "discover "the throttle.Find that this works quite well for OLM ---but tend to give them more room / do it from L1.Usual OLM is large 4X4 ,X5/Disco or similar.
Had this all the way down from Nottingham on the M1 on sunday. The thing is, they are oblivious to the fact that they are causing an obstruction, even when you pull up alongside and mouth "get the f*** over you f***ing moron" (before completing overtake manouver and pulling back across all 3 lanes to the inside again), but they do seem to get upset by it. Maybe calling them a moron is highly offensive?
andy zarse said:
Why couldn't you call yourself Hairye Dav. It's the Olde English version and it's rather quaint if you ask me. By the way, my dog's hairy (obviously) and his name is Dave. Spooky! In fact, are you actually my dog surfing the bloody internet from home?
Anyway there's some things best left unexplained and this is one of them. Just like the contents of that shed in Area 51, only those in the know realise the true significance of the * in M*ron. Don't ask questions that you might not like the answer to.
Anyway there's some things best left unexplained and this is one of them. Just like the contents of that shed in Area 51, only those in the know realise the true significance of the * in M*ron. Don't ask questions that you might not like the answer to.
Edited by andy zarse on Thursday 22 February 17:00
i have done, on occation, i don't think i'm your dog, i've done some very scientific tests, and i 'm not coming up as canine (i can't lick my own balls, and i own a dressing gown)
hang on, threats an lies to cover up sa difficult question, and asking questions to distract me? do you work inb politics?
Phil Dicky said:
Being a 35K miles a year man you can imagine how annoying the poor lane discipline is for me. I won't even discuss it with you guys my blood pressure will shoot up 
.....I'm going for a lie down.
.....I'm going for a lie down.Was a poster on another post --on a quiet motorway , overtook MLM in L3, pulled accross to L1, slowed down, let MLM pass then repeat till MLM got message - can't remember his record.(No doubt VH will tell us 6points)
Met one of these last night on the M40. Virtually Empty motorway MLM doing 60. Big van gradually catches up on the inside lane. Moves to middle lane, flashes MLM who ignores it. van takes the outside at about 65 crawls past, pulls back in to middle lane safely then across to inside lane...accompanied by frenzied flashing from MLM. I then approach at 70 on cruise, move to middle, flash MLM, then as he's not moving get over to outside and pass, pull back in to middle lane (and I didnt cut him up even though tempted) then back to inside lane. Again frenzied flashing from MLM as I pull back in. I watched in my rear view as I pulled away and saw him do the same flashing to two other cars.
Driving under the influence of drugs perhaps ?
weird.
Driving under the influence of drugs perhaps ?
weird.
Edited by bigdods on Thursday 22 February 22:59
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff