Need to talk to you all
Discussion
Hi all,
I own a 91 SE that was vandalized by my brother-in-law on Easter Sunday in my own garage. It was keyed.
I'm very depressed over it. I've already threatened his life, but the damage is done. No doubt jealousy was the reason behind it. I've already been assured by the Lotus dealer in my area to not worry about it, they'll fix to the point where I'll never know it happened. But I haven't slept in days. Has this happened to anyone here?
I own a 91 SE that was vandalized by my brother-in-law on Easter Sunday in my own garage. It was keyed.
I'm very depressed over it. I've already threatened his life, but the damage is done. No doubt jealousy was the reason behind it. I've already been assured by the Lotus dealer in my area to not worry about it, they'll fix to the point where I'll never know it happened. But I haven't slept in days. Has this happened to anyone here?
if he's willing to key your car in your own garage, he obviously wasn't bothered about you finding out it was him. My guess is he has a bigger problem than just you having a nice car. Is he unstable?
unbelieveably difficult situation. how is your relationship with the relation you have in common (yours or his sister)? think that link might be very important in sorting it out - try to keep them onside.
don't envy you this one. good luck.
unbelieveably difficult situation. how is your relationship with the relation you have in common (yours or his sister)? think that link might be very important in sorting it out - try to keep them onside.
don't envy you this one. good luck.
Wow.
Again, wow. This is an unbelievably hard pill to swallow. I freak out constantly about my car possibly being keyed, but to get keyed by family?
I don't profess to know what makes idiots do what they do. But since this isn't a blood relative, unless some serious ass-kissing and atonement came into play, this guy would never, ever be allowed in my house again. Or near anything I owned. Sister's judgement of character aside, I couldn't associate myself at all with someone who could do that to someone elses things. That is just profane disrespect.
Forego the life threatening stuff, just excommunicate this brother-in-law from your life and move on.
BTW, if you don't mind me asking, how did you find out it was him, and what did he say when you confronted him?
This is both shocking and appalling to me.
Mike :shudders:
Edited to add: You replied before I posted. Good lord, never ever associate with him again. Not ever. What a jerk. As far as the car goes, take solace in the fact it can be repaired. It's more an emotional wound than it is lasting damage.
Trust me, we all feel for you!
>> Edited by madmike on Wednesday 23 April 19:31
Again, wow. This is an unbelievably hard pill to swallow. I freak out constantly about my car possibly being keyed, but to get keyed by family?
I don't profess to know what makes idiots do what they do. But since this isn't a blood relative, unless some serious ass-kissing and atonement came into play, this guy would never, ever be allowed in my house again. Or near anything I owned. Sister's judgement of character aside, I couldn't associate myself at all with someone who could do that to someone elses things. That is just profane disrespect.
Forego the life threatening stuff, just excommunicate this brother-in-law from your life and move on.
BTW, if you don't mind me asking, how did you find out it was him, and what did he say when you confronted him?
This is both shocking and appalling to me.
Mike :shudders:
Edited to add: You replied before I posted. Good lord, never ever associate with him again. Not ever. What a jerk. As far as the car goes, take solace in the fact it can be repaired. It's more an emotional wound than it is lasting damage.
Trust me, we all feel for you!
>> Edited by madmike on Wednesday 23 April 19:31
Methinks somebody has just lost visiting priveledges permanently. However (and this is a big one), you need to let your wife take point on this one. It is her family and you don't want to start the age old argument about who's family is worse...
ErnestM
Edited to say: "Great Minds, eh MadMike?"
>> Edited by ErnestM (moderator) on Wednesday 23 April 19:31
>> Edited by ErnestM (moderator) on Wednesday 23 April 19:32
ErnestM
Edited to say: "Great Minds, eh MadMike?"
>> Edited by ErnestM (moderator) on Wednesday 23 April 19:31
>> Edited by ErnestM (moderator) on Wednesday 23 April 19:32
1. Get the car fixed as soon as possible - the longer you hurt over it, the more pleasure he will get seeing you in pain.
2. Invest in securing your garage so no one but you can get in there, or maybe one other trusted person.
3. Find a way to speak to him personally, man to man, and inform him of future consequences in two ways:
a) tell him he is going to pay for the damage or get a good @*!£$%!! that he will never forget...
OR
b) tell him to pay up and never contemplate similar action again, and if he doesn't press charges of criminal damage.
Your choice of a) or b) will depend on your own personality and preference for sorting such things.
Nicholas
2. Invest in securing your garage so no one but you can get in there, or maybe one other trusted person.
3. Find a way to speak to him personally, man to man, and inform him of future consequences in two ways:
a) tell him he is going to pay for the damage or get a good @*!£$%!! that he will never forget...
OR
b) tell him to pay up and never contemplate similar action again, and if he doesn't press charges of criminal damage.
Your choice of a) or b) will depend on your own personality and preference for sorting such things.
Nicholas
I had taken the car out for a ride on Saturday. When I get back from every ride I clean and inspect the car. Nothing there Saturday at 5:00 p.m. By 5:00 p.m. Sunday, that's when I found the damage. I never trusted him, so I said to myself, "I've got to check that car". Then I found it, after my company had left. My company consisted of grandmothers, my parents, a few aunts, and him. No doubt who it was.
Damn that sucks.
I'm guessing too that suing him isn't an option as he doesn't sound like the type who has assets to go after to pay for the repair. And criminal prosecution would be dicey too...family problems galore. Not to mention the constant worry over retribution.
It just goes to show how much society today sucks...that you can't just smack the taste out of this guy's mouth, or send him fishing like Michael did to Fredo.
Probably your best bet, sorry to say, id just sucking it up, repairing the damage ASAP and moving on, sans this arse in your life.
Mike
I'm guessing too that suing him isn't an option as he doesn't sound like the type who has assets to go after to pay for the repair. And criminal prosecution would be dicey too...family problems galore. Not to mention the constant worry over retribution.
It just goes to show how much society today sucks...that you can't just smack the taste out of this guy's mouth, or send him fishing like Michael did to Fredo.
Probably your best bet, sorry to say, id just sucking it up, repairing the damage ASAP and moving on, sans this arse in your life.
Mike
I left a vulgarity laced message on my mother-law's
voicmail for him- He lives with his mother. He called back and I let him have it. I got the "I didn't do it" crap, then he demanded an apology from me. I must have been yelling so loud that the police, who were leaving my house after i called them, came back into the house and talked to him. But hey, I didn't catch him red handed. But believe me, it was him. Insurance will take care of it. Anyway, I would suspect that nowadays this can be fixed very well, no?
voicmail for him- He lives with his mother. He called back and I let him have it. I got the "I didn't do it" crap, then he demanded an apology from me. I must have been yelling so loud that the police, who were leaving my house after i called them, came back into the house and talked to him. But hey, I didn't catch him red handed. But believe me, it was him. Insurance will take care of it. Anyway, I would suspect that nowadays this can be fixed very well, no?
Okay the damage in done.
What color is the car?
How deep is the scratch?
If you run your finger nail across it does finger nail catch on it?
How wide and how long is it?
What is the location of the damage on the car?
What is your personal skill level? (Are you handy about the house and the car?)
Calvin 90 SE
What color is the car?
How deep is the scratch?
If you run your finger nail across it does finger nail catch on it?
How wide and how long is it?
What is the location of the damage on the car?
What is your personal skill level? (Are you handy about the house and the car?)
Calvin 90 SE
Good news that your insurance is covering. You should be fine. I'd imagine the good folks at Lotus will sand and respray the panels in question and you'll never know anything had happened.
Yer best bet is just to try and forget it happened, disassociate yourself from the guy and enjoy your precious car.
Mike
Yer best bet is just to try and forget it happened, disassociate yourself from the guy and enjoy your precious car.
Mike
Hi,
Sorry to hear about this. It SUCKS! He's an ASSH*LE, you've been violated, never let him set foot in your house again, and so on. But after all is said and done, it's just a thing, a car which can be repaired or replaced. You can't let something as petty as this rob you of sleep! Fix it and move on.
I'm not unsympathetic, but save the radical emotion for when they tell you that you or your wife has cancer. That would be something to lose sleep over. Happy Motoring! Jim'85TE
Sorry to hear about this. It SUCKS! He's an ASSH*LE, you've been violated, never let him set foot in your house again, and so on. But after all is said and done, it's just a thing, a car which can be repaired or replaced. You can't let something as petty as this rob you of sleep! Fix it and move on.
I'm not unsympathetic, but save the radical emotion for when they tell you that you or your wife has cancer. That would be something to lose sleep over. Happy Motoring! Jim'85TE
Wetsanding is good. They did a great job on my '98 recently by wetsanding. It kept some of the price down...
Jim (Lotusguy) is right. Think calm thoughts. Go for a quick blat in the car (it normally calms me...)
That being said, if he was my brother in law, he would never darken my hallways again....
ErnestM
Jim (Lotusguy) is right. Think calm thoughts. Go for a quick blat in the car (it normally calms me...)
That being said, if he was my brother in law, he would never darken my hallways again....
ErnestM
The car's paint is pristine. 18,000 miles. I'm the second owner. The first owner kept the car in his
house- yes, a special room for it. I have never parked this car in public, bought it 3 years ago.
Heated garage. I suspect that the match of paint will be fine. The people at Lotus, who know the car, said it would be seamless. Thanks for all who replied. It's like therapy.
house- yes, a special room for it. I have never parked this car in public, bought it 3 years ago.
Heated garage. I suspect that the match of paint will be fine. The people at Lotus, who know the car, said it would be seamless. Thanks for all who replied. It's like therapy.
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