Strangest jobs called to...

[MilnerR]

Just been talking to a BiB in my local and he related a job that came through the chesterfield control room recently. They'd had a call asking a BiB to attend as the caller's brother-in-law was shagging the dog again, he didn't know the outcome, although he advised the control room that the family should get a bigger dog ! So, to the BiB on here, what has been your strangest/funniest job you've been called to recently.

[paolow]

we had a report of an alien craft which was pretty good. it wasnt though, sadly.

[chrispy porker]

Man masturbating a horse.
( still doing it when I got there)

[hugoagogo]

you'll never make that stand up in court

[BIG DUNC]

I assume you mean the four legged kind.

[andmole]

When we lived in Bolton we once called the BiB out to assist with the removal of 5 sheep from our garden, (we thought they might have escaped or been stolen, given that we lived in a built up area). I'm sure they didn't believe us, the look on their faces when they turned up to discover our garden full of sheep was priceless. Oh and did I mention that it was boxing day!?

[viper paul]

Two come to mind :-

Help Fire Brigade gain entry to house where screams had been been heard reported as someone injured. On entry finding upstairs a women handcuffed naked to a bed and a wardrobe face down on the floor when we lifted the wardrobe we found a knocked out man in a Batman suit with the crutch cut out.

Number two

Report a helicopter crash??? Radio to control room what would you like me to do answer....Oh do a vehicle accident book don't you just love Duty Inspectors.......LOL.

[timsta]

viper paul said:

... when we lifted the wardrobe we found a knocked out man in a Batman suit with the crutch cut out.

Well, what was he doing on the wardrobe with a broken leg?

[silverback mike]

chrispy porker said:

Man masturbating a horse.
( still doing it when I got there)

Yup, me too.
Itinerant travelling chap up to his back wheels in horse.
Funny old world.

[chrispy porker]

Not if you're a horse.

[silverback mike]

probably didn't even notice, they are right slappers down here....

[Onz]

A mate who owns 30-40 donkeys got a phone call from the bib in the middle of the night...they'd caught some fella trying it on with a donkey and this mate of mine had to go and id the donkey

Edited by Onz on Friday 11th May 20:11

[chrispy porker]

by an ID parade?

' I can't be sure Inspector, they all look the same........'

Actually there is an inevitability about this thread, I could have bet it would involve perversion and bestiality.

Edited by chrispy porker on Friday 11th May 20:35

[Onz]

chrispy porker said:

by an ID parade?

' I can't be sure Inspector, they all look the same........'

Actually there is an inevitability about this thread, I could have bet it would involve perversion and bestiality.

Edited by chrispy porker on Friday 11th May 20:35

Apologies for bringing down the tone

I can barely tell the difference between them but his 5 year old grandson can tell them all apart and name every one of them!!

[chrispy porker]

I think the tone was set fairly early on.

[bluesandtwos]

Everything seems normal to me these days!

[wassy]

silverback mike said:

chrispy porker said:

Man masturbating a horse.
( still doing it when I got there)

Yup, me too.
Itinerant travelling chap up to his back wheels in horse.
Funny old world.

Same here. Think he went to prison for a while.
Haven't seen him for fu@@@ng Donkeys

[bertbert]

chrispy porker said:

Man masturbating a horse.
( still doing it when I got there)

oh, er, in the interest of, er, getting the law clear, is that, er um actually, erm illegal?
Bert

[silverback mike]

Only if there is no consent..

erm, yes it is

[silverback mike]

neigh neigh thrice neigh