A difficult situation...

[LaSarthe&Back]

At the end of last year, a petrolhead friend of mine passed away, and his other half and I had talked about having some of his ashes scattered at a part of the circuit he enjoyed.

My budding petrolhead girlfriend and I will be going for the week, and have got ferry and camping tickets etc. A few months ago, I asked if she would like to come along, and she said yes. No problem in that the camping passs would cover a second tent. Since then she has not been in contact about going, and me and the GF have been planning it as a holiday, being the only one we'll get this year.

I now need to break it to her (not my other half!) that she'll be kind of a third wheel, and may perhaps feel uncomfortable trudging around with us all week, and that we'd much prefer to spend the week on our own. I should really have thought about this before asking her, but it's done and now I need to get out of it.

How would you let her down gently? I don't want to tell her to p**s off, but then I cannot capitulate to allowing her to tag along!

[CocoPops]

You've kinda left it a bit late to let her down surely?

A couple of months ago would have been better lol!!

[E36GUY]

It'd be waaay out of order to blow her out now mate. Especially given the situation. I think you should just suck it up and take her along

[Slurms]

Wow... Don't envy you this one.. But i've gotta agree with the above..

Given the plan to scatter ashes at the circuit I think you've gotta suck it up and honour your offer. She may not want to go..

[boolay]

Yep, you got to tell her you're off, and that she's more than welcome to come if she still wants to. Chances are she won't fancy it after all.

[rude-boy]

Yep, agree with the above.

Couple of months ago, fine. This w/e not on.

That said i know a really nice bloke going down on Wednesday who might be able to occupy her time

[Chrisgr31]

I agree your only option is to ask if she is still coming, and put up with it if she is. She might not be planning to come though.

[MadMacMcMad]

Why don't you explain that you are carrying on after LeMans for a bit of a break with the G/F and offer her a flight home. Take her to the airport and hey presto. Done the decent thing and still enjoy the weekend etc.

[vetteheadracer]

Just take a disposable BBQ and you can scatter the ashes from that......jobs a good'n......or have I missed something here?

[LaSarthe&Back]

Slurms said:

Given the plan to scatter ashes at the circuit I think you've gotta suck it up and honour your offer. She may not want to go..

Well that's also part of it, we don't have any ashes. The family were very stubborn and interred him at a church. Something he'd be fuming at.

[Skywalker]

Stck to the offer you made - it is the decent thing. Do it for your mate too.

You could always check out with her if she feels up to it, and would she prefer you to do it for her if she feels that she can't manage it this year.

It IS important to do this for you, her and your mate.

[LaSarthe&Back]

Well I bit the bullet and spoke to her, but it turns out that after having both her kids move back with her, she's skint and couldn't afford it even if I were to make it significantly cheaper than it otherwise would have been.

I'm hardly ecstatic that it's turned out like that, and it would have been just as good to have her there, it just would have been different. I have asked if she would like to come next year, when we should have a bigger group and it'll be a better experience for all involved.

Thanks everyone for the advice, and for telling me what I knew had to be done.

Cheers

[Skywalker]

YHM

[LaSarthe&Back]

Skywalker said:

YHM

And you mate.