Tips for dealing with animals...

[imbecile]

Having just been held up for a couple of minutes by some ducks crossing the road, I thought it might be a good thread to share techniques for driving around animals.

The main one I can offer is with sheep: Head down, foot down. The moment they raise their head one should be very wary of them.

[iLiekCarz]

The countryside method:

Step one: Stop car, switch on hazard indicators.
Step two: debus from car and retrieve shotgun from boot.
Step three: Take aim.
Step four: fire.
Step five: reload and fire again, this time hitting.
Step six: grab dead food and sling it in boot.
Step seven: unload shotgun and place in boot, close boot, jump into car and drive off.

[Stuart G Gray]

I once got stopped by a very large cow on the road. It was a very minor road in the highlands of Scotland. I had just seen the Crocodile Dundee film. I went up to the cow with my fingers in the Dundee recommended configuration, with my family in my car behind me, and my brother in laws car behind mine with his family in it. The cow looked at me in a lazy way that said "feck off". All my Croc Dundee ministrations fell by the wayside. Brother in law gets out his car, marches up to the cow, boots it in the side while shouting "feck off". Cow fecks off quick smart.

[imbecile]

Another thing, now I think about it, is sounding the horn well in advance of a flock of birds. Usually works.

I think this is probably ok, as birds are road users too...

[saxmund]

I once came across a herd of wild horses coming towards me on a fairly remote country road in Wales, at night and in the fog. I decided to try to be as inconspicuous and unthreatening as possible, so I backed up to a bit where there was a better verge, turned my lights off and just sat there, and they eventually passed me on the verge.

[chris_tivver]

iLiekCarz said:

The countryside method:

Step one: Stop car, switch on hazard indicators.
Step two: debus from car and retrieve shotgun from boot.
Step three: Take aim.
Step four: fire.
Step five: reload and fire again, this time hitting.
Step six: grab dead food and sling it in boot.
Step seven: unload shotgun and place in boot, close boot, jump into car and drive off.

Assuming that you had loaded two at step 5 and only used 1, then please, please unload shotgun before grabbing dead food, not after as you said.

[danrc]

I was driving through rural aberdeenshire recently and found a cow happily munching the grass on the verge. I just waited till it had moved over and drove past as slowly and quietly as i could - very difficult on a car with no cat and a HKS exhaust

When i got past the cow and put my hazzards on and flashed oncoming drivers all i got was a torrent of abuse. Ah well i hope the coz heard them coming!!!

[Graebob]

A while ago, I was driving down a properly small country road in my giant, red work van, and spied none other than one of those big shaggy highland cows. With massive horns. It was in the road, with high wire fence/bushes either side. There was enough room to pass. However, as I got within 6 feet it turned around and looked. Being city born and bred, I was at a loss. I stopped the van, put on the hazards (lord knows why, I was a million miles from anywhere), switched off the engine and waited. For 20 minutes.


Bloody cows

[RobM77]

Different animals seem to react to different approaches. With most I find a sort of 'herding' works well - so if the animal is on the verge get your car away from that verge so you are directing if off into the hedge. Coming straight at the animal will just even up the odds of it running to the right, to the left, or worse - freezing. Also, remember to preserve that first instinct to run away by not giving the animal too much time - being too ginger and slowing down usually results in indecision and an animal stuck in the middle of the road. One notably distinct reaction is that of hares - they rarely jump into the hedge like a rabbit would - instead just running down the road as fast as they can. I think that maybe somehow they use their speed to escape predators, and see the road as offering the highest speed escape route!

Also remember that predated animals such as horses or rabbits can see all around them other than a zone about 30 degrees behind them, whereas predators such as cats or fozes generally only see forwards.

[Colonial]

Probably not much help to you lot, but some tips.

If an emu attacks your car by pecking at the side windows, as happened just east of Dunedoo, then just drive. It is impossible to placate an angry emu.

When a wallaby/roo leaps across a major road at during daylight, just drive to the left/right of where it is (towards it's back), as they can't really go back.

When a wallaby/roo leaps across a road at dusk/night and stops, for gods sake hit the brakes. They get dazzled by the lights and they just ain't going anywhere.