Convincing the other half that you're not going to die!!
Discussion
For years I've wanted to get into bikes. But was put off by the danger element and my mentality - speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddd. But now I feel I've matured sufficiently to keep myself in check (dont really speed in the car anymore) and at 27 years of age running a bike shouldnt cost the earth - right?? I'm more interested in the freedom and fun of it rather than out and out speed.
So I've convinced myself I'm able for it, how do I convince the other half - she is terrified of speed and crashing and is convinced I would die if I took up biking. And any time I try to bring up the subject its quickly shot down.
Anyone in a similar situation - what did/would you do?
So I've convinced myself I'm able for it, how do I convince the other half - she is terrified of speed and crashing and is convinced I would die if I took up biking. And any time I try to bring up the subject its quickly shot down.
Anyone in a similar situation - what did/would you do?
Same situation as you really, family always against due to knowing someone that died from being in a collision and being on a bike they didn't come out well.
December I started with my CBT, found I enjoyed the ride so took my theory and only the other week did my DAS and passed the test on a Wednesday lunch.
If it is something you want to do, do it.
Just take your time, find a good instructor with the aiming of learning to ride, not just passing the test. Once you've passed then consider further tuition via the IAM/RoSPA to increase your standards.
HTH.
December I started with my CBT, found I enjoyed the ride so took my theory and only the other week did my DAS and passed the test on a Wednesday lunch.
If it is something you want to do, do it.
Just take your time, find a good instructor with the aiming of learning to ride, not just passing the test. Once you've passed then consider further tuition via the IAM/RoSPA to increase your standards.
HTH.
A - W said:
Same situation as you really, family always against due to knowing someone that died from being in a collision and being on a bike they didn't come out well.
December I started with my CBT, found I enjoyed the ride so took my theory and only the other week did my DAS and passed the test on a Wednesday lunch.
If it is something you want to do, do it.
Just take your time, find a good instructor with the aiming of learning to ride, not just passing the test. Once you've passed then consider further tuition via the IAM/RoSPA to increase your standards.
HTH.
Same here... I just left her.December I started with my CBT, found I enjoyed the ride so took my theory and only the other week did my DAS and passed the test on a Wednesday lunch.
If it is something you want to do, do it.
Just take your time, find a good instructor with the aiming of learning to ride, not just passing the test. Once you've passed then consider further tuition via the IAM/RoSPA to increase your standards.
HTH.
I had a 2 year running feud with my other half, that came to a head 6 months ago when I booked my DAS without telling her first. Then the feud escilated for 6 months, and finally when I got my bike she accepted it... But it was tough...
1/ Decide how much you want it - Is it really worth the hassel?
2/ Do it then tell her!
or you could always try the... I just want to do the training to see if I like it route...
I took her out for a sedate spin on the bike down a quiet country road on a beautiful summer evening..that done the trick, to actually “see” the perceived dangers for her self and understand the draw of bikes and biking works wonders..when your good and ready to take a pillion of course..
Shirley, if you're really passionate about it, she should understand. My ex HATED bikes, and the whole biking thing with a passion. I did it anyway, and she accepted that.
If I were you, complete the cheap stuff like the CBT and the test (!) then just tell her that you've learnt to ride, and can't do advanced training without a bike... or something like that. Alternatively, get her to log in here and share her concerns. Seriously, I'd be up for a sensible chat about the dangers etc, and I'd hope others would be too. Then she might, might just get the impresssion that we're not all 18 years old, and ride like there's no tomorrow. Just a thought. Also, how about suggesting a trip to London (not sure where you live) to visit the bike show...you know, just for a look around really! Then start buying the mags (not those ones) and mentioning a few facts etc...She'll get the message that trhis is gonna continue for ages unless you're "unleashed"!!!
What d'ya think??!!
If I were you, complete the cheap stuff like the CBT and the test (!) then just tell her that you've learnt to ride, and can't do advanced training without a bike... or something like that. Alternatively, get her to log in here and share her concerns. Seriously, I'd be up for a sensible chat about the dangers etc, and I'd hope others would be too. Then she might, might just get the impresssion that we're not all 18 years old, and ride like there's no tomorrow. Just a thought. Also, how about suggesting a trip to London (not sure where you live) to visit the bike show...you know, just for a look around really! Then start buying the mags (not those ones) and mentioning a few facts etc...She'll get the message that trhis is gonna continue for ages unless you're "unleashed"!!!
What d'ya think??!!
Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. The problem stems from the fact that I really do love this girl (gayer I know) and she feels so passionately about this stuff that I could imagine her leaving me over it using the old I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to kill yourself gem, either that or standing at the door with a look of panic on her face anytime I want to head off on the bike, the thought of her worrying about whether I'm coming back or not (and she is a born worrier) does make me wonder if its worth it.
But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
patmahe said:
Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. The problem stems from the fact that I really do love this girl (gayer I know) and she feels so passionately about this stuff that I could imagine her leaving me over it using the old I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to kill yourself gem, either that or standing at the door with a look of panic on her face anytime I want to head off on the bike, the thought of her worrying about whether I'm coming back or not (and she is a born worrier) does make me wonder if its worth it.
But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
If she REALLY loves you she will not leave just because you want to ride a bike.But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
Although my girlfriend was ok with the bike, my mother was having kittens every time I went out (I was keeping the bike at my parents for the first 2 weeks). She soon started to realise I wasn't going to die EVERY time I went out on it, and she could see I was taking every precaution. Now, although she probably still worries, she is definately less jumpy and is getting used to it.
patmahe said:
Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. The problem stems from the fact that I really do love this girl (gayer I know) and she feels so passionately about this stuff that I could imagine her leaving me over it using the old I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to kill yourself gem
And you can't hear the alarm bells ringing?? Not married yet, are you?? First it's I don't want you to get a motorbike 'cos they're dangerous, then the fast car for the same reason. Then you will have to give up Sunday football in case you break your leg etc.
2 options to consider......
a)Be a man. Book your CBT and tell her like it or lump it.
b)Be a mouse. Order a bulk load of monogrammed pinny's
Only my opinion though.
The ex forbade me from ever riding. That went down the pan when he realised that its not all doom and gloom. Threatened to leave, everything. After about 6 months I heard no more about it. It just becomes a fact of life.
Then I almost killed myself in a crash, and it started again. Luckily I was divorced before I finished Physio... so jumped straight back on 2 wheels when that was done
Then I almost killed myself in a crash, and it started again. Luckily I was divorced before I finished Physio... so jumped straight back on 2 wheels when that was done
patmahe said:
Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. The problem stems from the fact that I really do love this girl (gayer I know) and she feels so passionately about this stuff that I could imagine her leaving me over it using the old I'm not going to sit around and wait for you to kill yourself gem, either that or standing at the door with a look of panic on her face anytime I want to head off on the bike, the thought of her worrying about whether I'm coming back or not (and she is a born worrier) does make me wonder if its worth it.
But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
Marry her and get your friends to give you DAS training as a wedding gift But I know if I wasn't with her its definitely something I'd like to try. Which will probably make me bitter about it later in life.
Anyway I'm basically thinking out loud at this stage. Thanks again for your thoughts.
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