BoLOCs Zig Zag all the way to Breakfast (Sunday 17th)
Discussion
Scene 7: Village Idiot’s Office
[Village Idiot is writing at his desk. There is a knock at the office door.]
VILLAGE: Come!
[GRINNDERS enters the office.]
VILLAGE: Ah, Captain Grinnders.
GRINNDERS: Good morning, Captain Village.
VILLAGE: What do you want?
GRINNDERS: You're looking so well.
VILLAGE: I'm a busy man, Grinnders. Let's hear it, whatever it is.
GRINNDERS: Well, you know, Village, every . . . every man has a dream . . .
VILLAGE: Hmmm . . .
GRINNDERS: . . . and when I was a small boy, I used to watch the wild hares scrambling along the lanes at my grandmothers farm, and I remember thinking `Will men ever dare do the same?' And you know . . .
[VILLAGE rises from his desk.]
VILLAGE: Oh, you want to join the BoLOCS?
GRINNDERS: Oh, that's a thought. Could I?
VILLAGE: No, you couldn't! Goodbye!
[VILLAGE sits back down.]
GRINNDERS: Look, come on, Village, just give me an application form.
VILLAGE: It's out of the question. This is simply a ruse to waste five minutes of internet surfing after which you'll claim you can't drive after all because it makes you car sick. Come on, I wasn't born yesterday, Grinnders.
GRINNDERS: More's the pity, we could have started your personality from scratch. So, the training period is five minutes, is it?
VILLAGE: It's no concern of yours if it's five years and comes with a free holiday in North Weald, spare tyres supplied. Besides, they wouldn't admit you. It's not easy getting invites, you know.
[VILLAGE returns to his work.]
GRINNDERS: Oh, you've tried it yourself, have you?
[Village breaks his pencil.]
VILLAGE: No, I haven't.
GRINNDERS: Trust you to try and skive off to some cushy option.
VILLAGE: There's nothing cushy about drinking pints of tea with General Gooby at the Pierhead cafe.
[GRINNDERS raises his eyebrows at this.]
VILLAGE: Ah . . .
[The door to GENERAL GOOBY's office opens and the General and Beachbum enter. GRINNDERS and VILLAGE snap to attention. GRINNDERS salutes.]
BEACHBUM: . . . and then the bishop said "I'm awfully sorry, I didn't realise you meant organist."
[GENERAL GOOBY chortles.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Thank you, Beachbum. At ease, everyone. Now, where's my map? Come on.
VILLAGE: Sir!
[VILLAGE hands GENERAL GOOBY his map.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Thank you Idiot.
[GENERAL GOOBY unfurls the map the wrong way.]
GENERAL GOOBY: God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it.
VILLAGE: The other side, Sir!
[GENERAL GOOBY turns the map over. GRINNDERS turns to BEACHBUM.]
GRINNDERS: Hello, Beachbum. What are you doing here?
BEACHBUM: Me, Sir? I just popped in to join the BoLOCS
[GENERAL GOOBY looks up from his map.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Hello, Grinnders. What are you doing here?
GRINNDERS: Me, Sir? I just popped in to join the BoLOCS
VILLAGE: And, of course, I said . . .
GENERAL GOOBY: Bravo, I hope, Village. Because, you know, I've always had my doubts about you banky-type fellows. Always suspected there might be a bit too much of the car-dodging Porsche-wearing, I'd-rather-have-a-cup-of-tea-than-charge-stark-naked-in-my-Elise about you. But if you're willing to join the Twenty Minuters then you're all right by me and welcome to marry my sister any day.
VILLAGE: Are you sure about this, Sir?
GENERAL GOOBY: Certainly, you should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg. Be glad to get her out of the house. So, report at the Pavillion 0815 hours ready for instruction and take-off.
Any similarities or resemblance to any forum members here is entirely intentional although no insult intended... I've only met 1.5 of you !
So Sunday 17th. Chocks away 0815 @ Pavillion Bournemouth, 0830 @ Lilliput Sailing Club (Sandbanks Road) out to Wimborne (more pickups ???) out past Furze Hill cross country to Zig Zag Up and down and then the restaurant at Compton Abbas airfield for Brekkie circa 0930? Roger. Wilco. Charlie.
Any takers ? Further episodes to follow if I don't get sued !
1. Grinnders
2. BeachBum
[Village Idiot is writing at his desk. There is a knock at the office door.]
VILLAGE: Come!
[GRINNDERS enters the office.]
VILLAGE: Ah, Captain Grinnders.
GRINNDERS: Good morning, Captain Village.
VILLAGE: What do you want?
GRINNDERS: You're looking so well.
VILLAGE: I'm a busy man, Grinnders. Let's hear it, whatever it is.
GRINNDERS: Well, you know, Village, every . . . every man has a dream . . .
VILLAGE: Hmmm . . .
GRINNDERS: . . . and when I was a small boy, I used to watch the wild hares scrambling along the lanes at my grandmothers farm, and I remember thinking `Will men ever dare do the same?' And you know . . .
[VILLAGE rises from his desk.]
VILLAGE: Oh, you want to join the BoLOCS?
GRINNDERS: Oh, that's a thought. Could I?
VILLAGE: No, you couldn't! Goodbye!
[VILLAGE sits back down.]
GRINNDERS: Look, come on, Village, just give me an application form.
VILLAGE: It's out of the question. This is simply a ruse to waste five minutes of internet surfing after which you'll claim you can't drive after all because it makes you car sick. Come on, I wasn't born yesterday, Grinnders.
GRINNDERS: More's the pity, we could have started your personality from scratch. So, the training period is five minutes, is it?
VILLAGE: It's no concern of yours if it's five years and comes with a free holiday in North Weald, spare tyres supplied. Besides, they wouldn't admit you. It's not easy getting invites, you know.
[VILLAGE returns to his work.]
GRINNDERS: Oh, you've tried it yourself, have you?
[Village breaks his pencil.]
VILLAGE: No, I haven't.
GRINNDERS: Trust you to try and skive off to some cushy option.
VILLAGE: There's nothing cushy about drinking pints of tea with General Gooby at the Pierhead cafe.
[GRINNDERS raises his eyebrows at this.]
VILLAGE: Ah . . .
[The door to GENERAL GOOBY's office opens and the General and Beachbum enter. GRINNDERS and VILLAGE snap to attention. GRINNDERS salutes.]
BEACHBUM: . . . and then the bishop said "I'm awfully sorry, I didn't realise you meant organist."
[GENERAL GOOBY chortles.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Thank you, Beachbum. At ease, everyone. Now, where's my map? Come on.
VILLAGE: Sir!
[VILLAGE hands GENERAL GOOBY his map.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Thank you Idiot.
[GENERAL GOOBY unfurls the map the wrong way.]
GENERAL GOOBY: God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it.
VILLAGE: The other side, Sir!
[GENERAL GOOBY turns the map over. GRINNDERS turns to BEACHBUM.]
GRINNDERS: Hello, Beachbum. What are you doing here?
BEACHBUM: Me, Sir? I just popped in to join the BoLOCS
[GENERAL GOOBY looks up from his map.]
GENERAL GOOBY: Hello, Grinnders. What are you doing here?
GRINNDERS: Me, Sir? I just popped in to join the BoLOCS
VILLAGE: And, of course, I said . . .
GENERAL GOOBY: Bravo, I hope, Village. Because, you know, I've always had my doubts about you banky-type fellows. Always suspected there might be a bit too much of the car-dodging Porsche-wearing, I'd-rather-have-a-cup-of-tea-than-charge-stark-naked-in-my-Elise about you. But if you're willing to join the Twenty Minuters then you're all right by me and welcome to marry my sister any day.
VILLAGE: Are you sure about this, Sir?
GENERAL GOOBY: Certainly, you should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg. Be glad to get her out of the house. So, report at the Pavillion 0815 hours ready for instruction and take-off.
Any similarities or resemblance to any forum members here is entirely intentional although no insult intended... I've only met 1.5 of you !
So Sunday 17th. Chocks away 0815 @ Pavillion Bournemouth, 0830 @ Lilliput Sailing Club (Sandbanks Road) out to Wimborne (more pickups ???) out past Furze Hill cross country to Zig Zag Up and down and then the restaurant at Compton Abbas airfield for Brekkie circa 0930? Roger. Wilco. Charlie.
Any takers ? Further episodes to follow if I don't get sued !
1. Grinnders
2. BeachBum
Edited by Grinnders on Friday 8th February 12:14
The route http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=5223087812540289534,50.722530,-1.963070%3B15190431654511392737,50.789610,-1.987690&saddr=westover+road,+bournemouth&daddr=73+Haven+Rd,+Poole,+Dorset,+BH13+7LW+(Harbour+Heights+Hotel)+to:200a+Sandbanks+Rd,+Poole,+Dorset,+BH14+8HA+(Lilliput+Sailing+Club)+to:A35%2FSandbanks+Rd+%4050.722530,+-1.963070+to:A31+%4050.789610,+-1.987690+to:Horton+Inn+to:zig+zag+hill+to:SP5+5AP&mra=pe&mrcr=4&via=3,4&sll=50.990313,-2.038136&sspn=0.056079,0.1157&ie=UTF8&t=h&z=10&om=0
Edited by Grinnders on Friday 8th February 14:12
Edited by Grinnders on Friday 8th February 17:42
Beachbum said:
Bing o said:
Grinnders said:
At least you won't have to wear a carnation in your butt hole so we can spot you. Just wear what you're comfortable in... A romper suit.
EFA
Is someone bring a tow car for the Alfa?
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