Office Rituals and Morality
Discussion
So, most offices have the clucky hens and their cake eating, card signing rituals....
Usually the fattie from accounts:
"There's cake from Calais in the kitchen"
"There's biscuits from Bruges in the kitchen"
"There's my birthday cake and flapjacks in the kitchen"
.....
"There's a bowl of fruit in the kitchen" is met with frosty silence.
So then there's the birthday rituals.... a card arrives in an internal envelope on your desk... ffs, not again, the cards are always s
t, unfunny, tacky. Sign with a leaky pen so it blobs on the opposite page when closed.
Hmmm.
You manage a large team - you are reminded by a 'key hen' from the accounts cluckery that it's the oldest cluckiest hen's birthday SOON... she will be 60. You've never liked the old hen. Shortly, a large gaudy card appears on your desk with... a brown envelope for a collection.... there's already about £20 in there. But you don't like her, you hate this office bks in principle so sign the card with no message but you don't contribute... leave it to her fellow clucky hens.
Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
Usually the fattie from accounts:
"There's cake from Calais in the kitchen"
"There's biscuits from Bruges in the kitchen"
"There's my birthday cake and flapjacks in the kitchen"
.....
"There's a bowl of fruit in the kitchen" is met with frosty silence.
So then there's the birthday rituals.... a card arrives in an internal envelope on your desk... ffs, not again, the cards are always s
t, unfunny, tacky. Sign with a leaky pen so it blobs on the opposite page when closed.Hmmm.
You manage a large team - you are reminded by a 'key hen' from the accounts cluckery that it's the oldest cluckiest hen's birthday SOON... she will be 60. You've never liked the old hen. Shortly, a large gaudy card appears on your desk with... a brown envelope for a collection.... there's already about £20 in there. But you don't like her, you hate this office b
ks in principle so sign the card with no message but you don't contribute... leave it to her fellow clucky hens.Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
parakitaMol. said:
Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". 
jeremyc said:
parakitaMol. said:
Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". [quote] Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection".
[/quote]
Only thing to do and next time don't be such a tight wad. We've had peeps that i would happily have put a penny and a peperclip in for but in their case they get whatever change is in my pocket (within reason
)
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". [/quote]
Only thing to do and next time don't be such a tight wad. We've had peeps that i would happily have put a penny and a peperclip in for but in their case they get whatever change is in my pocket (within reason
)parakitaMol. said:
jeremyc said:
parakitaMol. said:
Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". 
rude-boy said:
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". Only thing to do and next time don't be such a tight wad. We've had peeps that i would happily have put a penny and a peperclip in for but in their case they get whatever change is in my pocket (within reason
)Edited by parakitaMol. on Friday 29th August 09:57
We have the same thing in our office (over sixty employees) - the other day a boisterous young chap left to go back to university (he was only ever working for us during a gap year)
I wasn't in on the day the card and collection plate was passed around.
When he was given his card on Tuesday, he came into my office and asked why I hadn't signed his card.
"Because I don't like you" was my response.
That left him speechless for a while, and the entire office managed to enjoy at least an hour of peace and quite for a change!
I wasn't in on the day the card and collection plate was passed around.
When he was given his card on Tuesday, he came into my office and asked why I hadn't signed his card.
"Because I don't like you" was my response.
That left him speechless for a while, and the entire office managed to enjoy at least an hour of peace and quite for a change!
I think these office rituals are utter ste and quite damaging and divisive...
Cant stand the cake thing, last thing i want is to be presented with a sticky cake in the office which i know if i eat will leave me with a sugar-high and then a sugar-low, followed by me falling asleep at my desk..
Nah office rituals are all very cheesy falsey crap... if you like the person beyond simple colleague politeness then go out for a drink...
te and quite damaging and divisive...Cant stand the cake thing, last thing i want is to be presented with a sticky cake in the office which i know if i eat will leave me with a sugar-high and then a sugar-low, followed by me falling asleep at my desk..
Nah office rituals are all very cheesy falsey crap... if you like the person beyond simple colleague politeness then go out for a drink...
jeremyc said:
parakitaMol. said:
Couple of days later the organising clucky hen returns flustered and pecking "we've made a terrible mistake, "she's not going to be 60, she's 59"... so we're not having a collection after all, please take back your money.
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
There's only one thing to do now ... isn't there? yes?
Be a hero in her eyes and suggest that she keeps your contribution to "put towards the next collection". 
never been one to engage in any contributons towards leaving. stuff that, unless i genuinely like them.
had one chap leave, then come back thus getting 2 leaving gifts! cheeky sod!
my basis for being such a tight arse is that i know i'll get little to no thanks when i leave, even though ive now been on the project the second longest out of a team of about 50-60
i love the story about the boisterous uni chap- nicely put! one thing i hate (bearing in mind im only 4 years out of uni) is cocky sods who come on their year out etc and think they are the nuts. luckily we've not had many but we have had a couple who are utterly useless!
had one chap leave, then come back thus getting 2 leaving gifts! cheeky sod!
my basis for being such a tight arse is that i know i'll get little to no thanks when i leave, even though ive now been on the project the second longest out of a team of about 50-60
i love the story about the boisterous uni chap- nicely put! one thing i hate (bearing in mind im only 4 years out of uni) is cocky sods who come on their year out etc and think they are the nuts. luckily we've not had many but we have had a couple who are utterly useless!
I agree with you whole heartedly, I used to get pig sick of signing leaving cards, doing collections, being asked to sponsor the office idiot to do yet another walk/run/bikeride/sponsored drowning when I don't like him and I don't support the charity (usually something groundbreakingly important like zimmer frames for disabled dolphins). And even worse the look on the office pest when you refuse to donate or sponsor. It was even worse where I worked as we were in offices but they were spread all over a big site, half the time you didn't even know the bl**dy person!
The girl I sit near, who I like cuase I look slim when I stand next to her, started mumbling about our bosses 50th Birthday which is in a couple of weeks. The rest of the men, told her, he would hate any fuss, but if SHE bought us all an All IN fry up from the butty van he might be happy. She denies, knowing the location or the prices, but as my Boss's Boss's DAD runs it we should get a discount ?
Hate being forced to sign cards & contribute, got into the habbit of just writing "All the best" on anything, however this meant we once required a replacment card after someone considered it inappropriate on a "With Sympathy" Card and the "Office Hen" told everyone the reason she was coming round again!
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