PH Fleet- MINI Cooper S
It's faster, more discreet and a lot dirtier
Photo: Lee Marshall
In fact, this feeling lasted for a few days, and despite telling everyone that I was as happy as Larry, it certainly took me a few days to get the MINI bug, but now I find it a hard habit to break. My relationship with ‘OOV’ is now so strong that I am happy to say on one of the UKs biggest websites, that this car is the best I have ever owned, and I’m being serious.
I could literally write about this car for pages and pages, but let’s try and get my point across without writing a novel.
Firstly, let’s get things in perspective. Being the Manager of PH means I meet many different people every week, some PHers and some business acquaintances, but all ask what I drive. To say they are surprised when I tell them that I drive a MINI would be an understatement, something that never happened when in the Z or my old Boxster S. Those that know raise a smile and we stand chatting for ages about the benefits of the German MINI- be they supercharged, or like mine turbocharged, others just look at me as if I am a little odd.
What I did want was as little chrome as possible and some nice things like an LSD, leather seats and the more subtle aero kit. I also chose 17’’ wheels but more about that later.
So a few thousand miles in and I was hooked. Please put your prejudice aside when you see a MINI as these things are fantastic and I certainly haven’t been left behind on any hoons. In fact, it was other drivers who held me up as they don’t expect a MINI to be driven hard. I can see why, and it’s a shame that many owners don’t realise how capable a car they have chosen to buy as they amble to the shops.
When I got the MINI my plan was to buy a second car, something to have fun with. However as I live in London and have on street parking, the thought of leaving something on the street for the entire week, or maybe weeks on end, was too much. I’d see my second car waste away as it lay subject to the elements. So, with a bit of spare cash to play with, I decided to improve on the MINI. I loved it as it was, but could it be made better?
To start with I looked to improve the already impressive chassis and knew I had to have the JCW springs and dampers fitted. The shorter springs give a firm ride, but not over firm and they are painted a very nice shade of red- not that you can see it. In addition to the expected handling improvements, it also lowers the car by 10mm.
Next I looked to make the car a bit noisier. The standard Cooper S can be made to make some impressive bangs on the overrun, and can be made to do it quite regularly when you learn how to do so, and a diet of V Power certainly helps. I knew I wanted more of this so went for the full JCW sports exhaust too.
But why stop there? I also signed up for the full tuning kit giving me a new air filter and an ECU remap, this takes power up to 192 hp and 250 nm of torque between 1,750 and 5,000 rpm. When under hard acceleration it has an overboost function that raises this to 270 nm.
So, that’s it then, all done? Well not quite.
I left the car with them for a couple of days and this is the result. I make no excuses for the fact that the car is dirty, it’s used and used hard, and in my book life is too short for buckets and sponges. Personally I think it looks fantastic, and I know when I think a car looks good as I tend to look at it a bit too much from the windows in my flat. I’m embarrassed to admit that I do find myself looking at it as I do the washing up, or even just because I want to.
It’s not all about looks though, oh no. This car now flies along on its new amount of torques. It revs cleanly up to the redline, but on the road it likes being short shifted to third. It’s very effective in third much to the surprise of other road users, taking it well above the legal limit from low speeds. Top speed is now a shade under 150 mph and the 0-60 sprint takes under 7 seconds. Despite all this, it’s the way it now revs so easily to the redline, and how overtaking has become so easy that impresses the most. It really does punch well above its weight now.
Gun crime has recently risen in SW London apparently. Well, actually that’s a lie, but I’m sure reports of hearing gunshots must have increased due to the loud bangs that now leave the MINI JCW exhaust. It’s fantastic to hear and the way it makes pedestrians jump makes me smile, rather childishly.
After the track I needed to head to Yorkshire, in preparation for a meeting early the next day. As I sat on the A1 it felt as good as new, and not like it had just completed many hard laps of a circuit.
On all MINIs there is a SPORT button near the gearlever, and on most cars it’s worthless. In the MINI however its well worth pressing, in fact I can’t drive it without selecting SPORT as the throttle is so unresponsive without it I almost stall. The steering gets some added weight too, so all in all this little button is worthy of a mention as it actually adds something to the drive.
It hasn’t all been rosy though, and there are a few little things that annoy me about the car.
I can’t get the drivers seat in the correct position, no matter how hard I try. I’m either a little too close to the pedals or a little too far away. Sadly I need somewhere in between the positions available. In the end I chose to sit a little closer that i'd like, but it’s not ideal.
The dash lights dim occasionally for no reason when the lights are on, they then return to normal brightness again. It’s not annoying enough to warrant me booking it into the dealer, but it’s something that needs sorting when it goes in for a service.
The auto wipers seem to either be on intermittent or full speed regardless of the amount of rain falling, and you end up driving along in light rain looking silly as your wipers mimic those of a rally driver.
In summary, you may not like the way this car looks, you may not like the image, and perhaps you feel that it’s a girl’s car? Well, you’re wrong. Its cost me a fair bit, way over £25k to get it to this stage in fact, but the performance is worth it. Believe me.
On the track it’s unstoppable, and right now I feel that it may well stay in my (as yet un-started) car collection for many years to come. It’s a David amongst Goliaths and even when we have new metal to test in the PH car park I still chose to drive the MINI home.
If any of you ever see me in the car, please come and say hello as I’d love to show you around it, or take you for a spin if you have the time. I know that I can convert you, if haven't been already.
Previous reports here and here
Thanks to Lee Marshall for the Bedford Autodrome image
Its funny how many people i have converted to them, its usually after a ride in mine. At teh Ring this weekend i had more comments and people looking over my car than all the overs in our convoy. Came out of the hotel in the morning to see 4 guys looking over it ( not nicking it) and then asking questions on it.
Also if you want to meet up with a load of other minis then minitorque are doing a stand at ultimate BMW at santa pod on the 21st of this month. We're going to try and lock out all the BMW's from the top 10 positions in the 4cyl class. Also doing another tunnel run in november around central london which is always a good laugh.
Lil Gee
I now have a Cooper S, Convertable. I can hear the overrun pops better
I also recommend the windbreak. Worth the £160!!!, really.
I am glad you understand why i find it hard to move away from it.
It is a brillient car...
If you want to increase the throttle response more permanently without use of the sport button then I'd recommend a Sprint Booster - here - I haven't got one myself but have driven a car with it and it's great, probably next on my list!
Impressions: yes, it's very very quick. The shove of that turbo coming in is electric; possibly the best overtaking car I've ever driven. And the sport button: really very good (although frankly, the steering and throttle response should always be like that). On smooth A- and B-roads it's a great car to drive, and on track I'm sure it's absolutely brilliant. And I think it looks great.
However.
- The ride is shockingly bad, particularly on iffy surfaces (Exmoor) or motorway ridges.
- The clutch has no feel whatsoever, slightly annoying when you're using the gears more because it's a six-speeder.
- It torquesteers like an absolute b@stard; while hooning around Exmoor I had to stop because my right wrist was aching. (Presumably most Mini drivers have very strong wrists).
- I couldn't work out how to use the built-in (and presumably impossible to replace) stereo without resorting to the instruction manual.
- The exhaust tips are beautifully positioned so that they make dirty marks on your trousers when putting things in the boot at the start of a journey, and burn you when you remove them at the end.
- The big shiny central speedo looks lovely, but impossible to read in many lighting situations, and it's too far from the road. Never has a car needed a HUD more.
- The cabin plastics are much lower quality than I was expecting in a nearly-£20k car.
- The seats are too hard and made my arse go to sleep on the motorway (the one I had was new though, so they may soften).
- Finally, the upright windscreen means that it collects many more bugs than any other car I can remember; which wouldn't matter so much if the wipers weren't tiny and almost impossible to cancel.
Don't get me wrong, it was fun... but mostly when caning it, because then you don't mind the ride. And unless you're on a beautifully surfaced road, caning it is when you see its worst downsides (torquesteer and the clutch). So you can't win.
Doesn't read quite as well now though
’ll admit, when first waved goodbye to the Z4 was a little unsure if had done the right thing. Sure enough, as drove the MINI home, thought had made a mistake. Don’t get me wrong, the car was exactly as had specified and everything was shiny and new, but it just didn’t feel as good as the Z4. But wanted a small car and now had one.
In fact, this feeling lasted for a few days, and despite telling everyone that was as happy as Larry, it certainly took me a few days to get the MINI bug, but now find it a hard habit to break. My relationship with ‘OOV’ is now so strong that am happy to say on one of the UKs biggest websites, that this car is the best have ever owned, and ’m being serious.
could literally write about this car for pages and pages, but let’s try and get my point across without writing a novel.
Firstly, let’s get things in perspective. Being the Manager of PH means meet many different people every week, some PHers and some business acquaintances, but all ask you what drive. To say they are surprised when tell them that drive a MINI would be an understatement, something that never happened when in the Z or my old Boxster S. Those that know raise a smile and we stand chatting for ages about the benefits of the German MINI- be they supercharged, or like mine turbocharged, others just look at me as if am a little odd.
One of the reasons people seem to be so surprised when they look at my car is the way it looks. Yes it’s an S, and yes it wasn’t cheap, but despite a lengthy options list didn’t specify any of the add ons, so popular with other owners. Roof graphics? think ’ll pass. How about spotlights? Hmm no thanks. How about a big body kit or bonnet stripes? Sorry, but no, not for me.
What did want was as little chrome as possible and some nice things like an LSD, leather seats and the more subtle aero kit. also chose 17’’ wheels but more about that later.
So a few thousand miles in and was hooked. Please put your prejudice aside when you see a MINI as these things are fantastic and certainly haven’t been left behind on any hoons. In fact, it was other drivers who held me up as they don’t expect a MINI to be driven hard. can see why and it’s a shame that many owners don’t realise how capable a car they have chosen to buy as they amble to the shops.
When got the MINI my plan was to buy a second car, something to have fun with. However as live in London and have on street parking, the thought of leaving something on the street for the entire week, or maybe weeks on end, was too much. ’d see my second car waste away as it lay subject to the elements. So, with a bit of spare cash to play with, decided to improve on the MINI. loved it as it was, but could it be made better?
popped into my dealer to pick up the John Cooper Works brochure. Yes, know that there are many tuning options available but OOV is still a new car, and quite like the fact that have a factory warranty, so chose to stick with approved parts.
To start with looked to improve the already impressive chassis and knew had to have the JCW springs and dampers fitted. The shorter springs give a firm ride, but not over firm and they are painted a very nice shade of red- not that you can see it. In addition to the expected handling improvements, it also lowers the car by 10mm.
Next looked to make the car a bit noisier. The standard Cooper S can be made to make some impressive bangs on the overrun, and can be made to do it quite regularly when you learn how to do so, and a diet of V Power certainly helps. knew wanted more of this so went for the full JCW sports exhaust too.
But why stop there? also signed up for the full tuning kit giving me a new air filter, ECU remap and this takes power up to 192 hp and 250 nm of torque between 1,750 and 5,000 rpm. When under hard acceleration it has an overboost function that raises this to 270 nm.
So, that’s it then, all done? Well not quite.
I’d heard that 16’’ wheels make a big difference to the handling of the MINI, despite most owners choosing to have 17’’ wheels as myself did. was also attracted to the fact that the car would look even more standard to the passer by. With that in mind went for a set of 16’’ Cooper wheels called Blaster. agreed to swap my immaculate 17’’ wheels with the dealer and managed to strike a bit of a deal by doing so.
left the car with them for a couple of days and this is the result. make no excuses for the fact that the car is dirty, it’s used and used hard, and in my book life is too short for buckets and sponges. Personally think it looks fantastic, and know when think a car looks good as look at it a bit too much from the windows in my flat. ’m embarrassed to admit that do find myself looking at it as do the washing up, or even just because want to.
It’s not all about looks though, oh no. This car now flies along on its new amount of torques. It revs cleanly up to the redline, but on the road it likes being short shifted to third. It’s very effective in third much to the surprise of other road users, taking it well above the legal limit from low speeds. Top speed is now a shade under 150 mph and the 0-60 sprint takes under 7 seconds. Despite all this, it’s the way it now revs so easily to the redline, and how overtaking has become so easy that impresses the most. It really does punch well above its weight now.
Gun crime has recently risen in SW London apparently. Well, actually that’s a lie, but ’m sure reports of hearing gunshots must have increased due to the loud bangs that now leave the MINI JCW exhaust. It’s fantastic to hear and the way it makes pedestrians jump makes me smile, rather childishly.
Handling is now just fantastic. The suspension work, along with the mechanical diff specified when ordered the car, gives an extraordinary amount of grip. On the road it’s unshakeable, but on the track it’s devastatingly good. At the recent PH track evening at Bedford Autodrome, it seemed to out handle most cars there. Using the kerbs for grip on this damp evening was lapping this circuit faster than have ever done on any of my four previous visits to this circuit- all in other cars. even let Racing Pete have a go for a second opinion, he said that it was a great track car and he wanted to drive it all session. That was enough for me as he knows his stuff, and the fact that other drivers came to ask me what had done to the car confirmed that it could hold it’s head high on the track. In fact it seemed to stand up to track abuse better than the Z4 ever did, with the brakes holding up for the whole session.
After the track needed to head to Yorkshire, in preparation for a meeting early the next day. As sat on the A1 it felt as good as new, and not like it had just completed many hard laps of a circuit.
On all MINIs there is a SPORT button near the gearlever, and on most cars it’s worthless. In the MINI however its well worth pressing, in fact can’t drive it without selecting SPORT as the throttle is so unresponsive without it almost stall. The steering gets some added weight too, so all in all this little button is worthy of a mention as it actually adds something to the drive.
For me, one of the best things about the car is that fact that it looks like a MINI One, and that has a huge appeal. am currently considering adding a One badge to the car in place of the Cooper S, despite the exhaust and bonnet intake being a giveaway. have to smile as bonnet striped, big wheeled Cooper S drivers come alongside and give me a smug smile. If only they knew intentionally specced my car this way.
It hasn’t all been rosy though, and there are a few little things that annoy me about the car.
can’t get the drivers seat in the correct position, no matter how hard try. ’m either a little too close to the pedals or a little too far away. Sadly need somewhere in between the positions available. In the end chose to sit a little closer that like, but it’s not ideal.
The dash lights dim occasionally for no reason when the lights are on, they then return to normal brightness again. It’s not annoying enough to warrant me booking it into the dealer, but it’s something that needs sorting when it goes in for a service.
The auto wipers seem to either be on intermittent or full speed regardless of the amount of rain falling, and you end up driving along in light rain looking silly as your wipers mimic those of a rally driver.
Finally, the electric window on the drivers’ door doesn’t always close automatically. It stops during closing as if something were in its way. It then opens fully again and you need to press the button again. Much the same as the dash lights, it’s nothing major but annoying all the same.
In summary, you may not like the way this car looks, you may not like the image, and perhaps you feel that it’s a girl’s car? Well, you’re wrong. Its cost me a fair bit, way over £25k to get it to this stage in fact, but the performance is worth it. Believe me.
On the track it’s unstoppable, and right now feel that it may well stay in my (as yet un-started) car collection for many years to come. It’s a David amongst Goliaths and even when we have new metal to test in the PH car park still chose to drive the MINI home.
If any of you ever see me in the car, please come and say hello as love to show you around it, or take you for a spin if you have the time. know that can convert you, if haven't been already.
But then it will be in theory still worth that difference in three years over a focus or whatever..
my girlfriend was a turbo cooper s, awesome car and i happily swap with her quite often!
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