What's your worst sticking your foot in it moment???

[LadyHayles]

Done my usual classic today - I have such a habit of sticking my foot in it and saying the wrong thing.

We have a guy in the office today from our London office and hadn't paid much attention to him all morning but he keeps making an odd noise - sort of like clearing his throat. I helpfully turned round and said "if you've got a sore throat then I've got some Soothers in my draw, do you want one?". Slight horrified look from the office partner (who also runs London office) and the lad turned round and said "thanks for the offer but I have a form of tourettes"!!!

AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh - I'm so embarrassed!

[L4URA]

Should have told him to fk off!

[10 Pence Short]

A group of us were sat outside the pub one afternoon, when one of our mates turns up with his (older) woman. Once they'd got sat down, Dave turned around to the woman and said "so, you must be Liams mum, then". The silence was amazing. Even the birds stopped chirping.

[JVaughan]

I forwarded an email to a product vendor from a customer and a fellow colleague who were both sgging the product in question off.

Response from french vendor on conference call that ensued .... "So you think our product is Crap eh"?

at that point I died

[GilbertGrape]

Asking a girl when her baby was due..

[GBRM]

I hadn't seen a friend for about six months and knew that she got married in that time so I asked her how married life was and she told me her husband had been killed a month before in a motorbike accident, DOH!!

[Bill Carr]

Whilst a student, I worked on the till at my local Co-op. One day a chap comes in - one of the regulars - who only has one arm (the other is missing from the elbow down).

He comes to the till to pay for his goods and appears to be struggling to bag them. Tying to be helpful I enquire "would you like a hand?" to which he responds, quick as a dart "well I could use one".

Not much you can say to that really.

[BigBazza]

I told a joke involving KiTKat chunkies and fat people at a party, I feel i'm fairly safe telling fat jokes as I'm on the large side myself.
Not having seen the big girl sat just along from me, she started crying and I beautifully recovered the situation by saying...... "oh sorry, I hadn;t seen you there Love" at which point she burst into floods of tears and walked off.

hmmmmm

Edited by BigBazza on Friday 12th September 13:50

[Heskey]

BigBazza said:

I told a joke involving KiTKat chunkies and fat people at a party, I feel i'm fairly safe telling fat jokes as I'm on the large side myself.
Not having seen the big girl sat just along from she, she started crying and I beautifully recovered the situation by saying...... "oh sorry, I hadn;t seen you there Love" at which point she burst into floods of tears and walked off.

hmmmmm

What was the joke?

[captainzep]

My grandmother is legendary in this respect.

Speaking with a family friend who had been tortured by alcoholism for years, Nanna Zep was moaning about some Daily Mail style issue, before stating, "It could drive you to drink".

[BigBazza]

It's rubbish, you have to be drunk;

I went into the petrol station the other day and said to the girl behind the counter, "can i Have a KitKat Chunky?"
She gave me a KitKat chunky and I said "No, I wanted a normal KitKat you fat bh"

As previously mentioned, its rubbish, it was topical at the time because someone was on about KitKats.....

[Skipppy]

My mates 25th Birthday some years back.

I roll up to him and an older gentleman he is talking to. Stick my arm round the older gentleman and declare that i am ''Gonna smash up the free bar!!!''

The older gentleman was my friends father who was picking up the bar tab. Whoops...

[LadyHayles]

GilbertGrape said:

Asking a girl when her baby was due..

Think that will be the most popular one - I've done it myself several times!


Another sticking my foot in it moment was years ago - I was dating a guy who was also a part-time bouncer and also black belt in Judo. I'd noticed upon meeting him a scar that ran from his lip to his nose and never commented. One night I mentioned it and said "so did you get that scar in a fight then" to which he replied "no, i was born with a cleft lip and pallette and had reconstructive and cosmetic surgery to correct it"!!!!

Eeeeeeek! Remember thinking to myself that they'd done superb work as he was sexy but thought better of it before I dug the hole any deeper!!

Edited by LadyHayles on Friday 12th September 13:57

[plasticpig]

Doing a site survey for a cabling job in Coventry. Looking at where a trench could be dug on a bit of wasteland between two 1930's buildings I jokingly said I wouldn't be surprised if the digger dug up a Word War II bomb. The clients who were with me at the time are German. Several minutes of deafening silence ensued.

[rorys]

In the pub of an evening meeting up with some friends some years ago.

Me: I hear the new missus is here tonight?
Friend: She is! Shes sat over there. (he points)
Me: Pointing and laughing, what her!
Friend: Yes?
Me: Oh, ok. I'll get me coat.

For the record its widely accepted by the group and him that she was not only a diasterous mess with a face like a melted welly but had a personality to match. Easily the most unplesant person I have ever had the misfortune to meet.

[RDMcG]

Left a message for a particulary boring colleague,and left speakerphone on in car. My wife mentioned how boring the guy and his family and I agreed. We trashed them right onto his answering service.
I still shudder when I think about it.

[bazh]

Walking down a road in Wigan, approached by an older lady who asked "where the post office depo is?" I clearly pointed out by pointing and telling her "it's the big red building down there love!" Then looked down to see she had a white stick and a guide dog.

[BigBazza]

bazh said:

Walking down a road in Wigan, approached by an older lady who asked "where the post office depo is?" I clearly pointed out by pointing and telling her "it's the big red building down there love!" Then looked down to see she had a white stick and a guide dog.

That H wouldn't stand for Hilton would it Baz?

[Flintstone]

RDMcG said:

Left a message for a particulary boring colleague,and left speakerphone on in car. My wife mentioned how boring the guy and his family and I agreed. We trashed them right onto his answering service.
I still shudder when I think about it.

The winner so far.

[m4tthew]

Heskey said:

BigBazza said:

I told a joke involving KiTKat chunkies and fat people at a party, I feel i'm fairly safe telling fat jokes as I'm on the large side myself.
Not having seen the big girl sat just along from she, she started crying and I beautifully recovered the situation by saying...... "oh sorry, I hadn;t seen you there Love" at which point she burst into floods of tears and walked off.

hmmmmm

What was the joke?

Probably:

Man goes upto counter at 24hr petrol stations and says to the attendant 'can I have a kitkat chunky?'

Attendant goes off and brings back a kitkat chunky.

Man says 'no, I wanted a kitkit you fat bh'.

Edit - I belm myself for not seeing the joke already posted.

Edited by m4tthew on Friday 12th September 14:09