Your three top tips for living life

[Bushmaster]

Go on then, you are a wise old bloke with a beard who sits on top of a mountain giving advice to youthful acolytes. What are your top three tips?

Mine:

1. Don't marry a bird who eats more than you do.

2. Don't drink anything that is served with a little umbrella or a sparkler.

3. Always know where your passport and credit cards are.

[Cheeky Jim]

1. Never trust a bird who leaves her knickers on the floor for more than 2 days in a row!
2. Good luck comes to those that wait.
3. Do as you would like to be done to.

Edited by Cheeky Jim on Friday 12th September 21:31

[AndyBe]

Buy things with cash (OK, maybe not a house).

Live life as you want to (within reason).

Treat people as you wish to be treat yourself.

[Jonny_]

1. Do not trust politicians.

2. Do not believe media hype.

3. Regard hysterical minority pressure groups like Greenpeace with contempt; they're a minority for good reasons...

[grumbledoak]

1. Never pass up the opportunity to have a piss
2. Fat girls cook you breakfast
3. Neither a borrower nor a lender be Never, ever watch Highlander II

Word.

Edit - As I thought the advice on Highlander II was more useful.

Edited by grumbledoak on Friday 12th September 21:35

[jarhead]

Bushmaster said:

Go on then, you are a wise old bloke with a beard who sits on top of a mountain giving advice to youthful acolytes. What are your top three tips?

Mine:

1. Don't marry a bird who eats more than you do.

2. Don't drink anything that is served with a little umbrella or a sparkler.

3. Always know where your passport and credit cards are.

1. Life is not fair,get over it
2. Don't bullst yourself
3. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

[jarhead]

Or

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And we are never going to think of it that way.

2. Crying is blackmail.

3. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

[Ordinary Bloke]

Don't trust anyone.

Always wear clean underwear.

Buy high, sell low.

[RedLeicester]

1. Work to live

2. Live to work

3. Work and live for love

[Wacky Racer]

Don't be flash if you haven't got the cash

A friend in need is a bloody nuisence

Never give a sucker an even break

[mybrainhurts]

1 Eat

2 Drink

3 Crap

[LotusNova]

So Grasshopper,

1. Don't waste it: You get one shot at this. It's short. Make the most of it. (maybe 3, but I'll count as 1).

2. Live & let live: More often than not, getting the most for you involves helping others do the same.

3. And for fk's sake, have fun: If it doesn't look terminally dangerous, try it once. If you liked it, do it again and again...

[loftylad]

1) Buy 5hite, buy twice.

2) Measure twice, cut once.

3) If you need finance, you can't afford it!

[Mrs Trackside]

1. Don't trust skinny people

2. Regret nothing, deny everything

3. If it feels good, do it

[Ordinary Bloke]

loftylad said:

1) Buy 5hite, buy twice. = 2 for the price of one? Bargain!

2) Measure once, cut twice.

3) If you need finance, you can't afford it!

[jarhead]

Haven given this further consideration & from bitter experience I think rule 1. has to be

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[Disco_Biscuit]

Mrs Trackside said:

1. Don't trust skinny people

why do fat people always say that

[WildCards]

1) Don't expect anyone else to support you.

2) Do one thing everyday that scares you.

3) Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.




0) Use sunscreen.

[Matt Harper]

1. If she smokes, she f*cks
2. Make your own luck
3. There's no replacement for displacement

[Mrs Trackside]

Disco_Biscuit said:

Mrs Trackside said:

1. Don't trust skinny people

why do fat people always say that

I don't trust fat people either. They might eat my cake when I'm not looking