Daft Chav comments about your elise

[ADM 135S]

Chav and his girl friend come into Mum's riding school. Chav lurking around my Elise, as my mum pulls in with her S2000. Chav starts talking to mum.
Chav "Lotus Elise Luv em"
Mum "Yes, It's my sons, a nice car"
Chav "it will eat yours for breakfast"
Mum "On initial acceleration and cornering yes, on the straights no"
Chav " Yeah, it will. I know everything there is to know about elises, it will do 185mph"
Mum "your an idiot"
Chav "my mates got one, does 185mph, tell im to take the limiter off"
Mum "If that's the case then why didn't honda put a smaller engine in my car?"
Chav "?"

So there you are, 185mph Elise's with no mods, just removed the limiter

[noodleman]

A Chav? In a riding school?

Was he there to nick something??????

[bordseye]

No - just fitting a 4 inch exhaust to the horse.

[shangani]

In a way the lad is quite correct. Unlimited, a standard elise elise will do 185 mph.

/You do have to toss it out the back of a plane to achieve that, but at least it's possible.


One of my friends managed a moment of genius when a chav girl made comments from the kerb while he was waiting at a traffic light:

Girl: "You must be compensatin' for somethin' eh?"

Friend: "Yup - as you can see it is a VERY small car."

[SkinnyBoy]

bordseye said:

No - just fitting a 4 inch exhaust to the horse.

[F.C.]

bordseye said:

No - just fitting a 4 inch exhaust to the horse.

Just looking at the pile o ste the local stables leave on the road outside my house I'd say Horses have a 5" exhaust as standard
F.C.

[TIPPER]

One I read on Seloc a little while ago:
Elise driver at traffic lights with the roof off and a white Transit pulls up alongside.
Transit driver: 'I see you couldn't run to a Porsche then....'
Elise Driver: 'And you couldn't run to a Sprinter?'
Van drivers mate cracks up laughing

I don't get much in the way of abuse in fact only this afternoon I had a biker at the local filling station wander over and have a good look at the car as I was paying and then he hung around to have a chat and complement the car.
On another occasion I was in paying for some fuel when a youngish lad (who didn't seem particularly bright I'm afraid) said to me 'you must have worked really hard to be able to afford a car like that: One day I'm going to have have something like it'....It made me think there is some hope for this country.

[purdy84]

Driving through a rather long tunnel we have up here that goes under the Tyne I watched the car in front drop all four windows while the 3 rear passengers cheered and gave the tumbs up while I tested 1st and 2nd gear...

....meanwhile a passenger in a car traveling the opposite direction hangs out the window and shouts wr...

It always ammuses me the different reactions towards the car..

Edited by purdy84 on Sunday 21st September 22:48

[Thorburn]

purdy84 said:

Driving through a rather long tunnel we have up here that goes under the Tyne I watched the car in front drop all four windows while the 3 rear passengers cheered and gave the tumbs up while I tested 1st and 2nd gear...[/footnote]

Are you sure they were cheering and not waving their arms around as they died of carbon monoxide poisoning?

[SeanyD]

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

[kirky135r]

Had a young lad going "wow look at the car" once at Burley in the New Forest... Chav dad replied "It's only a fking Lotus"

[boobles]

Once had a teenager shout at me "my dads cars better than yours" I replied "really, ask your mum if your dad also has a 12inch donger like me"

[purdy84]

SeanyD said:

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

These days where else can you get that much entertainment for £1.20....

Try not to activate the speed limit signs though....a jobs worth at the other end may pull you in for a chat. Ive heard they dont like it though when you point out to them that their speed limit signs say 'Please try to maintain the speed limit where possible'

[Gooby]

I went for a late night / early morning search for empty roads on Friday night. On the outbound I went through town. Some young tt was being turned away from a strip club - probably because he was too young.

Obviously looking for trouble he decided to stand in the middle of the road and demand I stop. I duly did, 1 ft past where he was standing. He regained his composure and started to point out that if I were to harm him, I "would be in trouble". I responded (he was pissing me off now) that I would bet that I will be out prison before he is out of hospital. He tried to run that across his brain but the diamond white was getting the way. I put it a little more directly - "how cool will you look with no knees?"

His mate rushed over to try and distract me while some other lads dragged idiot 1 out of the road - "want a fag?" What? You are a fag? That would explain a lot about your boyfriend...

I dropped the clutch and left.

[noodleman]

You always seem to get into these kind of confrontations.... Just chill man.

[TOENHEEL]

purdy84 said:

SeanyD said:

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

These days where else can you get that much entertainment for £1.20....

Try not to activate the speed limit signs though....a jobs worth at the other end may pull you in for a chat. Ive heard they dont like it though when you point out to them that their speed limit signs say 'Please try to maintain the speed limit where possible'

I wonder how i havent had a ticking off yet mate i fly through there usually haha

[purdy84]

TOENHEEL said:

purdy84 said:

SeanyD said:

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

These days where else can you get that much entertainment for £1.20....

Try not to activate the speed limit signs though....a jobs worth at the other end may pull you in for a chat. Ive heard they dont like it though when you point out to them that their speed limit signs say 'Please try to maintain the speed limit where possible'

I wonder how i havent had a ticking off yet mate i fly through there usually haha

It was about half 11 at night...dont think they had anything better to do....I also pointed out to him that it may not be the best idea to stand in the middle of the road at night...that also went down well.

[TOENHEEL]

purdy84 said:

TOENHEEL said:

purdy84 said:

SeanyD said:

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

These days where else can you get that much entertainment for £1.20....

Try not to activate the speed limit signs though....a jobs worth at the other end may pull you in for a chat. Ive heard they dont like it though when you point out to them that their speed limit signs say 'Please try to maintain the speed limit where possible'

I wonder how i havent had a ticking off yet mate i fly through there usually haha

It was about half 11 at night...dont think they had anything better to do....I also pointed out to him that it may not be the best idea to stand in the middle of the road at night...that also went down well.

haha i used to hammer through there about 12-1 in the morning. Although the Loti are very loud bworrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppp.

[SeanyD]

TOENHEEL said:

purdy84 said:

TOENHEEL said:

purdy84 said:

SeanyD said:

Believe it or not, in the 2+ years of ownership, I've yet to 'do' the Tyne Tunnel. I reckon its worth paying the toll some day just for the fun of it.

These days where else can you get that much entertainment for £1.20....

Try not to activate the speed limit signs though....a jobs worth at the other end may pull you in for a chat. Ive heard they dont like it though when you point out to them that their speed limit signs say 'Please try to maintain the speed limit where possible'

I wonder how i havent had a ticking off yet mate i fly through there usually haha

It was about half 11 at night...dont think they had anything better to do....I also pointed out to him that it may not be the best idea to stand in the middle of the road at night...that also went down well.

haha i used to hammer through there about 12-1 in the morning. Although the Loti are very loud bworrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppp.

Lads... I could well be up for a blatt through there some time, if you're up for it, currently checking out a sports cat, which should sound all the more interesting on top of the current sports exhaust.

[Mr POD]

I have been known to say : "But isn't a VX220Turbo better ?"

LOL jealous ? Me ? NEVER !!!

Hides behind his mk3 astra with 75 bhp 8v that his wife tells him is a fine car.