Why I Love My Cerb Soooo Much
Discussion
You'd think that living just south of manchester for nearly all my life i'd be used to the constant rain and this years total lack of a summer. HOWEVER i'm not...i think maybe i suffer from that SAD bulls
t....anyway there IT is sat in the effin garage grinning at me like a cheshire cat... polished, primed, and after a little bit of tampering the other day by that tart from middlewich (who is nearly as fat as me now hahaha!...i have lost about 6 stones incidentaly, and he hasn't put on that much...honest 
) I deceided, balls yer comming out of yer little hidy hole and we're playing out in the pissin rain (yer 'avin it today, as only a manc would say)
sooooooooo after warmin up t'engine and charging out of the gate with a wiggle of his hips cerbie exits my carpark and screams off up the high st like a scolded ginger stepchild,(rain or not today i was goin to be boss and i wasn't havin any of that you gotta give me respect or i'll rip yer knackers off and feed 'em to you nonsense that he's tried on several occasions usualy resulting in wallet hurt.
Any way off we trundle anoying the other motorists with pops and bangs a plenty and lots of little wiggles and the odd slide on the countryfied bendy bits out towards buxton (i have no idea why i went about 30 miles in the opposite direction to where i was actualy heading...as anyone who knows this area will quantify cheadle to didsbury is only about 2 miles
but st happens! eventually i arrive at my luncheon destination and see a parking space right outside the cafe bar which is on the opposite side to the direction i'm going...not to miss the opportunity of parking my beloved right outside of where i'm gonna be sat (bks who would't want to meet a lovely for lunch and not also stare like a five year old at yer cerb (let he who is without sin cast the first stone)i think a u turn is the appropriate course of action, but.....its too narrow as i find out about a quarter of the way round, so in accordance with article 106 of driving yer car like a nob 
i booted the biatch and performed an orchestrated powerslide that can only be described as art, sheer effin brilliance that only we 'the enlightened' can even begin to understand...it wasn't rude but pure filth. At the point of no return i stamped on the loud pedal and the AJP responed instantly with a howl, the rear just broke away like a greyhound leaving the traps and as we slid almost in slow motion into line with the exit point a tiny twitch of the steering wheel set it up to perform the most eloquent exit as i spanked the bastid back up the street...it was spiritual... i mean nailed to the point that even jesus would have applauded.. and who better to know a good nailing?
So five years down the line, lots of heartache, wallet hurt and therapy i still love this fking car like nothin on earth (sorry kids) how could TVR who got something sooooooooo bloody right end up in such a ball of snot?
Cerberi.... don't you just fking love 'em?
t....anyway there IT is sat in the effin garage grinning at me like a cheshire cat... polished, primed, and after a little bit of tampering the other day by that tart from middlewich (who is nearly as fat as me now hahaha!...i have lost about 6 stones incidentaly, and he hasn't put on that much...honest ) I deceided, balls yer comming out of yer little hidy hole and we're playing out in the pissin rain (yer 'avin it today, as only a manc would say)sooooooooo after warmin up t'engine and charging out of the gate with a wiggle of his hips cerbie exits my carpark and screams off up the high st like a scolded ginger stepchild,(rain or not today i was goin to be boss and i wasn't havin any of that you gotta give me respect or i'll rip yer knackers off and feed 'em to you nonsense that he's tried on several occasions usualy resulting in wallet hurt.
Any way off we trundle anoying the other motorists with pops and bangs a plenty and lots of little wiggles and the odd slide on the countryfied bendy bits out towards buxton (i have no idea why i went about 30 miles in the opposite direction to where i was actualy heading...as anyone who knows this area will quantify cheadle to didsbury is only about 2 miles
but st happens! eventually i arrive at my luncheon destination and see a parking space right outside the cafe bar which is on the opposite side to the direction i'm going...not to miss the opportunity of parking my beloved right outside of where i'm gonna be sat (bks who would't want to meet a lovely for lunch and not also stare like a five year old at yer cerb (let he who is without sin cast the first stone)i think a u turn is the appropriate course of action, but.....its too narrow as i find out about a quarter of the way round, so in accordance with article 106 of driving yer car like a nob i booted the biatch and performed an orchestrated powerslide that can only be described as art, sheer effin brilliance that only we 'the enlightened' can even begin to understand...it wasn't rude but pure filth. At the point of no return i stamped on the loud pedal and the AJP responed instantly with a howl, the rear just broke away like a greyhound leaving the traps and as we slid almost in slow motion into line with the exit point a tiny twitch of the steering wheel set it up to perform the most eloquent exit as i spanked the bastid back up the street...it was spiritual... i mean nailed to the point that even jesus would have applauded.. and who better to know a good nailing?So five years down the line, lots of heartache, wallet hurt and therapy i still love this f
king car like nothin on earth (sorry kids) how could TVR who got something sooooooooo bloody right end up in such a ball of snot?Cerberi.... don't you just f
king love 'em?
ill 
to that one, they are just sooooooo much fun and rewarding to drive.absolutley brilliant little speech there mate, i love the comparsions used, quality."scolded ginger stepchild" LMAO
im sure all cerb owners feel the same as you, I know I do and I to carry out the "noobish" tricks you mention above as i love the felling, when it goes right.
ive never fallen for a car like i have fallen for my cerb. true brilliance comes at a cost and these cerbs like to test us. like a lazy child, reward them with a little more pocket money and they soon start to help you out.
im sure all cerb owners feel the same as you, I know I do and I to carry out the "noobish" tricks you mention above as i love the felling, when it goes right.
ive never fallen for a car like i have fallen for my cerb. true brilliance comes at a cost and these cerbs like to test us. like a lazy child, reward them with a little more pocket money and they soon start to help you out.
This is why I love mine
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
Edited by jesfirth on Friday 3rd October 20:55
jesfirth said:
This is why I love mine
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
Edited by jesfirth on Friday 3rd October 20:55
Nice!
jesfirth said:
This is why I love mine
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
that's just porn http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
Edited by jesfirth on Friday 3rd October 20:55
jesfirth said:
This is why I love mine
http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
Having seen that, Im not sure Im ready to do some of the Sprint Championship next year. I hate coming last http://s367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/jesfirth/...
Edited by jesfirth on Friday 3rd October 20:55
Fubar - to be fair I am probably the wildest of the sprint competitors and I have won 6 rounds so far this year so I am fairly committed - witha bit of luck after tomorrow I will b leading the championship. We are getting up to 25 cars at each event this year so regardless of how quick you are there are always people at your pace with whom you can compete so just come and have a go - its great fun.
Jes
Jes
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