Winding up aggresive telesales people

[plasticpig]

I just love to wind up the occasional telesales person. I usually just tell them that they are wasting their time but occasionaly I get the really aggresive type who wont take no for an answer. Today it was water coolers:

Salesbod: "We can beat your current price for bottled water"
Me: "How much then?"
Salesbod: "£5.50 per bottle"
Me: "We currently pay 15p per bottle"
Salesbod: "Dont you mean per litre?"
Me: "No its a two litre bottle so it it would be a 7.5p a litre"
Salesbod: "But water cooler bottles are 19 litres"
Me: "That wouldnt fit in the fridge"
Salesbod: "I thought you said you had a water cooler?"
Me: "We do; its called a fridge. It cools water. It also cools other useful things like beer"

[Flintstone]

I really dislike cold callers. Out of deference to them 'just doing their job' I give them one polite refusal after which I consider them fair game.

[Dracoro]

plasticpig said:

Salesbod: "But water cooler bottles are 19 litres"
Me: "That wouldnt fit in the fridge"

[Daniel1]

or a bigger fridge

[plasticpig]

BAHN-STORMA said:

plasticpig said:

Salesbod: "But water cooler bottles are 19 litres"
Me: "That wouldnt fit in the fridge"

It probably would if you remove some shelves...

But where would we put the milk, fizzy water, red bull and the FD's packed lunch?

[rev-erend]

Once kept a double glazing rep on the line for 2 hours .. and finished with..

Does it matter if i'm renting and on DSS benefits

[crofty1984]

I usually just get halfway through a sentence then stop dead. cue "Hello? Hello?" from them. then just as they're about to give up and put the phone down start talking to them again. Then make out I can't hear them. Cue "Hello?" from me and yes sir, I'm here, can you hear me. Repeat as necessary.

[k_jessop]

I tend to put them on hold for a few minutes at a time untill they get pissed off and hang up. Makes me feel a bit better for the time I'm kept on hold by call centres lol

[V8mate]

I had a cold call from some stationery supplier; sounded like a young lady of Eastern European persuasion.

I had to ask to her to repeat herself a couple of times as I was on hands-free on a noisy road.

So she had done a fair bit of talking.

I wasn't in the mood as I was trying to find an address so just replied "Look, do I know you?"

I expected the usual 'No', to be subsequently exchanged with a 'Well, fk off then", but instead, suddenly her voice changed from business to pussycat and, clearly not really understanding why I had asked the question I did, she giggled coyly and replied "Erm...I'm not sure, <more giggles>, maybe you do, do you know me?" <nore giggles>. (Apply 'Don't look at me, I'm shy' accent)

Completely threw me. Hung up anyway, but at least she didn't get any abuse. Wonder if she's using her company's telesales database to find herself a sugar daddy?

[JVaughan]

had this french bird come around the doors one day while I was polishing the TVR. trying to sell Electricity. Kept her talking for 45 minutes, she ewven sat in the car.
In the end she gave up. I was single at the time too

[missliv]

I had one turn up on the doorstep the other week:

Him: Hi.. I'm from nPower. We've got you flagged as having a very high energy bill for this area. Would you be interested in a lower tariff?
Me: Yes, absolutely. Our bills are verging upon the obscene.
Him: So you'd say you're getting ripped off left right and centre by your current supplier?
Me: Yes, it's just ridiculous. Blatant profiteering at the customer's expense.
Him: Dear oh dear. Who currently supplies your electricity and gas?
Me: You do.
Him: Errrrrrm......

Edited by missliv on Friday 10th October 15:12

[fastfreddy]

I've noticed more cold calling going on very recently. Is this a result of tough times or is there a general trend to try and waste my time as much as possible?

And yes, I am registered with the TPS and ex-directory.

bdS!

[SS HSV]

missliv said:

I had one turn up on the doorstep the other week:

Him: Hi.. I'm from nPower. We've got you flagged as having a very high energy bill for this area. Would you be interested in a lower tariff?
Me: Yes, absolutely. Our bills are verging upon the obscene.
Him: So you'd say you're getting ripped off left right and centre by your current supplier?
Me: Yes, it's just ridiculous. Blatant profiteering at the customer's expense.
Him: Dear oh dear. Who currently supplies your electricity and gas?
Me: You do.
Him: Errrrrrm......

I had one call from EDF energy..

Sales guy: Your electric usage is quite high

Me: Yes its because we had to install all these extra light sockets for all the free low energy lamps we have been sent..

Sales guy: Really?

Me: Click!

[gti-ted]

The best one for telesales is to say " Oh theres somebody at the door " and place the phone by the radio and leave it there.
Allways works a treat

Have you heard the one on Youtube with the guy pretending to be a Detective. Very funny, if i had access i would post a linky.

[lazyitus]

A guy phoned me up, trying to hard sell something. I told him to wait for a minute.

Left the phone on the side of the chair for about 5 minutes, expecting him to be gone. Bless him, he was still there, waiting. So I asked him if he wanted a yogurt.

He called me a effing ba$turd and hung up.

Don't know why.

[Broken Hero]

Flintstone said:

I really dislike cold callers. Out of deference to them 'just doing their job' I give them one polite refusal after which I consider them fair game.

which is fair enough, all the other crap on this thread is a bit childish imo.

Edited by Broken Hero on Friday 10th October 15:39

[Stigmundfreud]

NSFW

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8i_XcXJkk2o

[gti-ted]

Stigmundfreud said:

NSFW

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8i_XcXJkk2o

Is this the one? I can't open it at work

[Stigmundfreud]

gti-ted said:

Stigmundfreud said:

NSFW

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=8i_XcXJkk2o

Is this the one? I can't open it at work

ah no, not the one you mentioned although that detective one was a good un! LEave that glory for you later

[MrVelox]

I get them from XM Radio, all the time.

Background: I have sat radio in the Caddy, got a heck of a deal and prepaid it for the 36 month lease which is up in May but I am getting a new car in Jan/Feb. They want me to re-up, no way. I have told them this [Ferris Bueller's Principal]NINE TIMES[/Ferris Bueller's Principal] and am sick of them calling but they are more persistent than a heroin addict looking for smack on credit.

"Hi, Im calling from XM radio with great news!"

Oh yeah? Like what sort of great news?

"We have an exciting promotion to offer our current subscribers!"

Wait, is this the free hookers and coke thing I heard about?

"Uhh, no, this uhh, this is for current subscribers who want to save money"

Well, the last time that you called me, I told you that I didn't need to save money.

"Well are you the owner of a 2006 Cadillac STS?"

No, I blew it up.

"Oh, well we show that you are the current owner of this vehicle"

I don't own the car. GMAC owns the car, I just lease the car.

"Well are you the driver of the car?"

Not at this very moment, right now I am smoking and watching the Spice channel. (I pull the phone away from my face and yell in the background 'NO WAY is she Eighteen, YO MA! Look at this chick, she doesnt look a day over fifteen does she?')

OK, where were we?

"Well, we have a deal where you can extend your membership which expires soon at a great price"

Oh yeah, same thing I tell you people every time you call, Lease ends in May, XM is paid for through May. Why the hell would I pay for the next guy who drives the car to listen to XM radio?

"Well XM can help enhance the resale value of your car"

Are you fking retarded? Like as in do you lack any ability to comprehend a single thing that I am saying to you? Put the cur cards down and listen here you little slut. By May 15th, this car will be out of my hands, FOREVER. I will never drive this exact car again EVER IN A MILLION YEARS.

So I don't want to pay for your bullst radio service, is this understood?

"Umm, ok I think I see your point"

Great. Then go fk yourselves. Like I have been telling you for months, DO NOT CALL ME EVER AGAIN!

<click>

I love telemarketers