Parenting advice - 6yr old daughter mentions sex......
Parenting advice - 6yr old daughter mentions sex......
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Discussion

BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Now i'm pretty broad minded but on Friday evening my 6 yr old daughter tells me that her friend Molly is having a sex party and that they are all ging to "sex boys."

Now I also have 2 boys, 1 older and 1 younger neither of who have ever mentioned or are aware of matters sexual but I always knew we would have our hands full with our little girl. Very confident and outgoing, very sharp etc.

It came as a shock to me that they are even talking about this stuff in the playground at their age but the even bigger shock was my total uselessness at dealing with the situation or knowing what to say.

I did the usual dad thing of picking up the nearest tractor and machinery mart and burying my head in it while her Mum asked her what she meant etc etc.

Should i be scared to death about what the future holds for her, christ at 6yrs old we have a hell of a long time to still protect her from all that sort of stuff...

How would anyone else deal with it?

Road2Ruin

6,500 posts

246 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Sorry to hear that mate beinf a father of two girls myself. I would ring the girls mother and ask what excatly is going on. Probably nothing like it sounds and she is just using words that she has heard.

james_tigerwoods

16,347 posts

227 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
I've a daughter and I wonder this myself.

I'm actually thinking about my "You're not good enough for my daughter", "you're not going out looking like that" and "what are your intentions towards my daughter" speeches.

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
be very scared, i am, my daughter is 8 and she has mentioned it. I did the same as you, i mean what the bloody hell do you say to that.

I think mummy is the best person to deal with it, if later on i have cause for concern then i'll go in with the dad's going to have a serious chat face on, usually before you have even sat down they understand you!

Oh and may i also direct you to the scene in bad boys 2 when the boyfriend turns up at the house hehe

Edited by Mc Lovin on Monday 13th October 14:01

Hedders

24,460 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Maybe it is a 6th (birthday) party, rather than a sex party..

BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
james_tigerwoods said:
I've a daughter and I wonder this myself.

I'm actually thinking about my "You're not good enough for my daughter", "you're not going out looking like that" and "what are your intentions towards my daughter" speeches.
I've already told all the eldest boys mates not to come calling for her in the modern equivalent of a mark 2 escort or Capri. I DREAD the thought of her "going out" with someone when shes old enough but it's just come as a shock at this age.

BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Hedders said:
Maybe it is a 6th (birthday) party, rather than a sex party..
I appreciate it isn't ACTUALLY a sex party

Poledriver

29,597 posts

224 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
It's very difficult when you are watching your daughters like a hawk, and dropping subtle warnings to their boyfriends, while at the same time telling your son to "Get in there boy"! smile

Incoming flames!


shadowninja

80,101 posts

312 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Hedders said:
Maybe it is a 6th (birthday) party, rather than a sex party..
hehe could be.

Hoppy2008

2,496 posts

225 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
I dont have kids, but I do have nephews and nieces aplenty.
One of my nephews, an 8 year old mentioned something similar a while back.
Apparently his friend from school has an older brother (about 12 or 13) and he gets things from him, relays them at school, et voila!

Hopefully nothing for you to worry about for a good few years yet mate.

HTH

Hoppy

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Poledriver said:
It's very difficult when you are watching your daughters like a hawk, and dropping subtle warnings to their boyfriends, while at the same time telling your son to "Get in there boy"! smile

Incoming flames!

hehe

I really cant wait to get this over and done with, i dont want to be too harsh and drive them to do exactly what i dont want them to do, however i cant sit back and let them do what ever, its a really difficult thing to deal with, a very fine line between success and disaster.

As for my son, well, stay safe! laugh

BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Mc Lovin said:
Poledriver said:
It's very difficult when you are watching your daughters like a hawk, and dropping subtle warnings to their boyfriends, while at the same time telling your son to "Get in there boy"! smile

Incoming flames!

hehe

I really cant wait to get this over and done with, i dont want to be too harsh and drive them to do exactly what i dont want them to do, however i cant sit back and let them do what ever, its a really difficult thing to deal with, a very fine line between success and disaster.

As for my son, well, stay safe! laugh
Oh yeah, the boys have my full backing, i'll even help them get a nice motor etc to attract the ladies.

Whereas she is staying in, or going to B&Q etc with me RIGHT by her side hehe

Edited by BigBazza on Monday 13th October 14:08

cornishgirl

1,692 posts

222 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Sounds like your daughter has learnt a new word.

Children do talk about a lot of subjects without realising the true meaning or context. If you are still worried have a word with Molly's mum and I'm sure you will find it isn't as you think.

HRG

72,863 posts

269 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
BigBazza said:
Now i'm pretty broad minded but on Friday evening my 6 yr old daughter tells me that her friend Molly is having a sex party and that they are all ging to "sex boys."

Now I also have 2 boys, 1 older and 1 younger neither of who have ever mentioned or are aware of matters sexual but I always knew we would have our hands full with our little girl. Very confident and outgoing, very sharp etc.

It came as a shock to me that they are even talking about this stuff in the playground at their age but the even bigger shock was my total uselessness at dealing with the situation or knowing what to say.

I did the usual dad thing of picking up the nearest tractor and machinery mart and burying my head in it while her Mum asked her what she meant etc etc.

Should i be scared to death about what the future holds for her, christ at 6yrs old we have a hell of a long time to still protect her from all that sort of stuff...

How would anyone else deal with it?
If they ask questions just give them a short answer and move on... No need to go into detail, just satisfy their curiosity on the actual question asked.

My youngest daughter is nine and she knows the lot yikes

BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
cornishgirl said:
Sounds like your daughter has learnt a new word.

Children do talk about a lot of subjects without realising the true meaning or context. If you are still worried have a word with Molly's mum and I'm sure you will find it isn't as you think.
My Wife asked her what she meant and she said it meant snogging and "stuff" and that her and Molly were both going to sex Jonnie.

Poor Jonnie is the most innocent little lad and he's unwittingly going to be on the receiving end of his first 3some!

I know its only playground talk but it's the thought of another 10yrs or more we have to fight off the relentless tide of sexuality. AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!

odyssey2200

18,650 posts

239 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
THANK fk I HAVE 3 BOYS!!!

woohoo


Good luck!!


Hoppy2008

2,496 posts

225 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
BigBazza said:
cornishgirl said:
Sounds like your daughter has learnt a new word.

Children do talk about a lot of subjects without realising the true meaning or context. If you are still worried have a word with Molly's mum and I'm sure you will find it isn't as you think.
Poor Jonnie is the most innocent little lad and he's unwittingly going to be on the receiving end of his first 3some!
haha, its good that you still have your sense of humour at daunting time.
Im sure as others have said, its just a new word theyve learned.

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
BigBazza said:
Mc Lovin said:
Poledriver said:
It's very difficult when you are watching your daughters like a hawk, and dropping subtle warnings to their boyfriends, while at the same time telling your son to "Get in there boy"! smile

Incoming flames!

hehe

I really cant wait to get this over and done with, i dont want to be too harsh and drive them to do exactly what i dont want them to do, however i cant sit back and let them do what ever, its a really difficult thing to deal with, a very fine line between success and disaster.

As for my son, well, stay safe! laugh
Oh yeah, the boys have my full backing, i'll even help them get a nice motor etc to attract the ladies.

Whereas she is staying in, or going to B&Q etc with me RIGHT by her side hehe

Edited by BigBazza on Monday 13th October 14:08
Well stage one of my plan is moving to a house in the middle of no where, that way they need me to taxi them about.

The other stages i'll think about closer to the time, but im feeling that B&Q trips idea biglaugh

kit80

4,764 posts

217 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
I wouldnt worry to much, I have a son who is eight now but first mentioned sex when he was about 6, was just sitting in a chair reading the newspaper, as they do and announced he was going to have sex today.

I imagine your little girl has picked up on the word possibly from other girls at school and is testing it out see the reactions she gets. The word sex is banded around a lot more these days.

I would do as your wife did and just enquire informally and relaxed what she means etc.

I though I do feel for you I think girls are far more of a worry than boys to have.


BigBazza

Original Poster:

2,135 posts

277 months

Monday 13th October 2008
quotequote all
Mc Lovin said:
BigBazza said:
Mc Lovin said:
Poledriver said:
It's very difficult when you are watching your daughters like a hawk, and dropping subtle warnings to their boyfriends, while at the same time telling your son to "Get in there boy"! smile

Incoming flames!

hehe

I really cant wait to get this over and done with, i dont want to be too harsh and drive them to do exactly what i dont want them to do, however i cant sit back and let them do what ever, its a really difficult thing to deal with, a very fine line between success and disaster.

As for my son, well, stay safe! laugh
Oh yeah, the boys have my full backing, i'll even help them get a nice motor etc to attract the ladies.

Whereas she is staying in, or going to B&Q etc with me RIGHT by her side hehe

Edited by BigBazza on Monday 13th October 14:08
Well stage one of my plan is moving to a house in the middle of no where, that way they need me to taxi them about.

The other stages i'll think about closer to the time, but im feeling that B&Q trips idea biglaugh
Remote cottage is a great idea! I'm on rightmove now...... thumbup