Drunken Eating

[aciddrop616]

Ok then. After reading throught the "things youve eaten that you wish you hadnt" thread, it got me thinking, whats the worse meal youve made yourself and eaten after a good night out on the booze.

mine was at a friends party a couple of years ago.

I was starving so decided I would make myself some spaghetti hoops.

All seemed well to start with, found a bowl that was clean, found the hoops, found a microwave, could just about see the buttons. everything checked out.
6 minutes later (4.5 mins longer than needed) they were ready, and REALLY fuhking hot.

so i decided i would add some milk to coll them down.

Now, the reason I decided milk was because with creme of tomato soup you can add milk to cool it down and it doesnt curdle and it keeps the creamy taste.

unfortunately, these tesco's finest hoops were not in a cream based tomato soup, but a water based flavouring (i was to drunk to care that they may be different so just bunged milk in as it was closer than the tap).

Cue the milk instantly curdling.
Fuhk, thinks I, i i grab a seive, dumpp the hoops into the seive and proceed to rinse off the milk (and tomato sauce/flavour/stuff) leaving me with plain spaghetti hoops with bits of curddled milk mixed in for good measure.

Probably the biggest failure of a meal i have ever created, funny considering i was a sue-chef at the local restraunt.

so, what abominations have you guys created whilst too drunk to comprehend even the simplest of tasks.. like staying upright??

over to you guys

Thom

[fastfreddy]

aciddrop616 said:

Probably the biggest failure of a meal i have ever created, funny considering i was a sue-chef at the local restraunt.

Thom

This either means:

a) you were sued by a disgruntled diner because you served them the same sort of meal you attempted to make for yourself, or

b) like the Johnny Cash song, you are really a chef named Sue

[Slagathore]

in a slightly drunken state last week, I mixed the Chow Mein Super Noodles with Mild Curry Super Noodles.

It was fairly successful.

That's about as adventurous as I've got

[aciddrop616]

fastfreddy said:

aciddrop616 said:

Probably the biggest failure of a meal i have ever created, funny considering i was a sue-chef at the local restraunt.

Thom

This either means:

a) you were sued by a disgruntled diner because you served them the same sort of meal you attempted to make for yourself, or

b) like the Johnny Cash song, you are really a chef named Sue

no it means i made starters and desserts and i meant sous-chef, but i never ever knew how it was spelt, (plus i left the job about 4 years ago, which is another reason i couldnt spell it)

[fastfreddy]

So you applied for, and got, a job you couldn't spell?

[aciddrop616]

sgathore said:

in a slightly drunken state last week, I mixed the Chow Mein Super Noodles with Mild Curry Super Noodles.

It was fairly successful.

That's about as adventurous as I've got

heres a tip with super noodles. prep your noodles so they are cooked and ready to eat. then intead of shovelling them into your gob try this instead.

1. Prior to prep of noodles buy a baguette( short one about 1 ft long).
2. Cut about 3 inches off one end of baguette (preferable leaving one solid crust on other end)
3. Take long spoon,fork or other scoopy device thin enough to get inside the baguette without splitting the crust and hollow it out.
4. cook your noodles.
5. Pour noodles into the baguette
6. eat with fork then when the noodles are fairly low nibble edge of baguette untill just above noodle line, and repeat until devoured.

believe me, its nice

[aciddrop616]

fastfreddy said:

So you applied for, and got, a job you couldn't spell?

nah i was a KP initially, then kinda got un officially promoted.

[Slagathore]

aciddrop616 said:

sgathore said:

in a slightly drunken state last week, I mixed the Chow Mein Super Noodles with Mild Curry Super Noodles.

It was fairly successful.

That's about as adventurous as I've got

heres a tip with super noodles. prep your noodles so they are cooked and ready to eat. then intead of shovelling them into your gob try this instead.

1. Prior to prep of noodles buy a baguette( short one about 1 ft long).
2. Cut about 3 inches off one end of baguette (preferable leaving one solid crust on other end)
3. Take long spoon,fork or other scoopy device thin enough to get inside the baguette without splitting the crust and hollow it out.
4. cook your noodles.
5. Pour noodles into the baguette
6. eat with fork then when the noodles are fairly low nibble edge of baguette untill just above noodle line, and repeat until devoured.

believe me, its nice

i might just have to try that!!

[Cotty]

I dont really have that problem as I usually cook after a few beers anyway. Cooking whilst drunk is second nature. Proper roast dinner or cheese toasted sandwiches, same difference.

A really drunk meal is usually a big saucepan, brown some mince, pour in some frozen peas and sweetcorn, sprinkle over some dried herbs. Pour over some boiling water, drop in a stock cube, let it simmer for a while. Then pour in some rice. stir a bit and once the rice has absorbed the water it gets a bit sticky, surve. lovely

[norman156]

I normally cook up some pretty good stuff while drunk... Only bad food choices I make while drunk normally invole shifty kebab shops. Stuck to KFC tonight...

[BruceV8]

Without wishng to come over all HSE on you but:

Do your drunken cooking with care, or at least some supervision. Buried my best mate a few years ago - all because of a failed lager/chip pan interraction. And this a bloke who'd had a fairly adventurous life. Arsebiscuits.

[tomTVR]

I have just eaten a drunked road chicken sandwich with tomato relish, bloody delicious

[JamesM]

the best attempt ive done is Come in absolutely fooking trashed to my flat, got a pan out and stuck it on the electric hob in my kitchen, poured a can of beans into pan and then promptly fallen over backwards and passed out only to be woken up by my flat mates as the beans have carbonized and the smell of it has woken them up.

I call it Student surprise

[Monochrome]

Well i'm a devout hater of vegetables and mince meat, but one time i was in a foreign land and wasted in a club.

I ended up at an unknown persons house vigorously eating their lasagne(spelling?) with great gumption and drinking cider.

I only have brief memorys of the night but it ended quite abruptly, with me sprinting for my life back to my residence and collapsing for several hours.

So in hindsight it was a splendid night for all. I think?

[captainzep]

Well, I cooked some bizarre st in my time after a few shandies.

But the worst wasn't cooked by me at all. I just partook.

At uni a few mates used to club together and make an enormous stew which they would take from over a few days. One night I staggered in starving (alcohol inhibits gluconeogenesis don't you know hence the raging, eat anything hunger). The kitchen was dark. I saw the pot on the side and helped myself to a cheeky bowlful which I knocked back cold in some haste.

Next morning I awoke to someone shouting "fkin'hell, who ate...eurghhh"

Didn't think much of it at the time, but later bimbled into the kitchen to see the pot of stew, which had an inch thick carpet of furry mould growing on it, apart from a freshly scooped area which evidenced last night's meal. I had obviously misjudged how long the thing had been hanging around.

No ill effects however.

[Mexico.]

I once put loads of curry powder on baked beans on toast tasted really nice better than next doors cat but thats a different story!

[Landlord]

aciddrop616 said:

fastfreddy said:

So you applied for, and got, a job you couldn't spell?

nah i was a KP initially, then kinda got un officially promoted.

I think you probably mean you were the commis chef. Sous chef is second-in-command to the head chef and usually very experienced. The path from KP to commis is more common.

By the way - the spaghetti-hoops thing really made me laugh.

[woodnut67]

A mate of mine in a drunken haze was woken the next morning by his mam along the lines of "Paul, you halfwit, why is my good frying pan covered in gloopy white stuff?" - He'd fancied a couple of quarter pounders but got them confused with Wagon Wheels!!

[Twincharged]

woodnut67 said:

A mate of mine in a drunken haze was woken the next morning by his mam along the lines of "Paul, you halfwit, why is my good frying pan covered in gloopy white stuff?" - He'd fancied a couple of quarter pounders but got them confused with Wagon Wheels!!

[crackthatoff]

a couple of months ago In a drunken mess I decided to make spag bol... as far as I remember it was quite good, had to go and get my mum some more tulip bulbs in the morning though apparently they're from the same family as garlic and not poisonous so I was bloody lucky