why i fired my secrectary
why i fired my secrectary
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Discussion

slideways

Original Poster:

4,101 posts

251 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.

moosepig

1,306 posts

271 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
slideways said:
why i fired my secrectary
Because she doesn't use a spell checker while typing your posts? wink

paperbag

Rupert Da Fridge

899 posts

221 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
moosepig said:
slideways said:
why i fired my secrectary
Because she doesn't use a spell checker while typing your posts? wink

paperbag
I need a job at your place dude ...........

elster

17,517 posts

240 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
This is older than the internet and also was in coupling on tv

bi9_jk

883 posts

295 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
slideways said:
Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
OH MY GOD

Is that someones worst nightmare or what?

Why take it out on the secretary?


I have some questions.

What did your wife say?
What did your kids say?

The biggest question I want to ask about this story....


What happens next?



slideways

Original Poster:

4,101 posts

251 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
ffs fellas it's a joke

colonel c

8,054 posts

269 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
slideways said:
ffs fellas it's a joke
It’s no joke for your poor ex-secretary is it.
Out of work in a recession with Christmas and all.

willd58

1,559 posts

238 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
I for one would advise the secretary suing you for unfair dismissal, you really are a disgrace to bosses everywhere.

slideways

Original Poster:

4,101 posts

251 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
colonel c said:
slideways said:
ffs fellas it's a joke
It’s no joke for your poor ex-secretary is it.
Out of work in a recession with Christmas and all.
hehe

CommanderJameson

22,096 posts

256 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
moosepig said:
slideways said:
why i fired my secrectary
Because she doesn't use a spell checker while cutting and pasting very old jokes from the internet? wink

paperbag
EFA

Scraggles

7,619 posts

254 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
lmfao, posted it to another forum and will have to see how many of them think it is real as well smile

GuildfordPaul

467 posts

236 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
slideways said:
Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
OH MY GOD

Is that someones worst nightmare or what?

Why take it out on the secretary?


I have some questions.

What did your wife say?
What did your kids say?

The biggest question I want to ask about this story....


What happens next?
rofl woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh

richyb

4,615 posts

240 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
5/10. Where did you steal that from? tongue out

Jasandjules

72,611 posts

259 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
richyb said:
5/10. Where did you steal that from? tongue out
It's been on the web for years. I even have it in a book of internet jokes I got about two years ago for Christmas....

I'd love to see the Tribunal claim....biggrin

Jules360

1,949 posts

232 months

Thursday 23rd October 2008
quotequote all
bi9_jk said:
slideways said:
Why I fired my secretary:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."
I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
"Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."
"Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake.
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Sobbing...
Naked...
and erect.
OH MY GOD

Is that someones worst nightmare or what?

Why take it out on the secretary?


I have some questions.

What did your wife say?
What did your kids say?

The biggest question I want to ask about this story....


What happens next?
Studying law ?? God help us all. eek