How to get rid of an EX

[JohnDoeDoa]

Chaps... over the years i've seen some magnificant advice, wise words and some great abuse given in the "The Pie & Piston"... Now i'm hoping someone can give me a great one liner...

Long story short, bought a house with gf, got engaged, then found out she was banging her boss (via his wife), I moved out got my own place, wasted a ton of cash on cars and slept around

Now this all happened about 2 years ago but the EX still won't give up sending me emails, to start with i would just send abuse back but it did not work, so i gave up replying in the end... BUT she still wont stop sending pointless emails...

SO.... this is the latest bland email... I am hoping that i can just send a single reply to shut the bh up forever..


Hi, not sure if you want to speak to me. Dont really know what I'm emailing about either! How r u? Sent from my iPhone





Before anyone asks, No i don't have any dirty pics of her, or her number, but she did take it up the oxo tower

Edited by JohnDoeDoa on Saturday 6th December 20:08

[PaulW21781]

JohnDoeDoa said:

Before anyone asks, No i don't have any dirty pics of her, or her number

[alfa phil]

change your phone number

[alfa phil]

or even email address

[Captain Volvo]

alfa phil said:

change your phone number

how will this stop the emails?

[wildoliver]

Reply with:

Oh my god darling I'm so glad you've replied. I have tried to resist the temptation but I can't any more I love you too much. Please please please meet up with me now as I want to propose so we can spend the rest of our lives together, have lots of little babies and live together to spend the rest of our lives with each other never to sleep with anyone else ever again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you a million times my little chuchi face.

---

I guarantee she will not pester you again. I have used it twice now.

[JohnDoeDoa]

alfa phil said:

or even email address

Its my work email

[Scrotum]

You Obv have her email though, PM me!

Joking aside, she has issues and needs to move on. Get a restraining order!!

[JohnDoeDoa]

wildoliver said:

Reply with:

Oh my god darling I'm so glad you've replied. I have tried to resist the temptation but I can't any more I love you too much. Please please please meet up with me now as I want to propose so we can spend the rest of our lives together, have lots of little babies and live together to spend the rest of our lives with each other never to sleep with anyone else ever again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you a million times my little chuchi face.

---

I guarantee she will not pester you again. I have used it twice now.

That's the sort of class A material that im after

Edited by JohnDoeDoa on Saturday 6th December 20:13

[gti tim]

If it is that bad consider police - harassment warning. Have to go in, make statement complaining that what she is doing is a course of action affecting you in a negative way. ie not just once - several times. They can give her words of advice, or issue harassment warning. If they give warning and she continues to contact you ( which you can easily prove, surely?) then she can be arrested for breaching the warning.

I take it that she has no legitimate reason to email you through work - not a customer/client/supplier etc?

[wildoliver]

JohnDoeDoa said:

wildoliver said:

Reply with:

Oh my god darling I'm so glad you've replied. I have tried to resist the temptation but I can't any more I love you too much. Please please please meet up with me now as I want to propose so we can spend the rest of our lives together, have lots of little babies and live together to spend the rest of our lives with each other never to sleep with anyone else ever again.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you a million times my little chuchi face.

---

I guarantee she will not pester you again. I have used it twice now.

That's sort of class A material that im after

I should point out one small caveat.

If she is a total bunny boiler she may turn up on your doorstep and say lets get started!

In that case she will then threaten suicide when you inform her you were in fact trying to get shut.

Then use the following.

GF: I'm going to kill myself.

BF: No you won't.

GF: Yes I will tonight I'm going to swallow some pills.

BF: Are you sure you have enough elephant woman? If you come over I have some 100 packs of paracetamol.

Edited by wildoliver on Saturday 6th December 20:17

[Alfa_75_Steve]

If it's your work email, can you arrange for IT to block and trash anything sent by her?

[Bonnie and Clyde]

Thank her for emailing you. Tell her your relieved she has, as your struggling to find someone to share your life with since you found out about the HIV. Ask her to meet you. Bet she wont.

[Overhaulin]

Hi, I'm glad you got in touch. Things are going really well for me since I met Sophie.
She's a dream to look at, size 8 maybe 10 tops. She's funny and clever with the dirtest laugh you could imagine.
She loves [ insert here most of the things your ex hated]
Plus I really should'nt say this, but we do go back a bit. She is absolute filth in the bedroom.


And put her e-mail on your blocked senders list






edited for formatting.

Edited by Overhaulin on Saturday 6th December 20:30

[StevenB]

Just block her emails if your using outlook distress it's under the meaasge tab at the top

[dreamer75]

I had this with an ex and I couldn't block with our corp email tool, so I just pretended and replied to all his emails changing the subject line to "COMPANY NAME: EMAIL FILTER" with a message along the lines of "your email has been blocked and has not been delivered. it has been reported to our mail administrator"

It worked a treat

[Alfa_75_Steve]

dreamer75 said:

I had this with an ex and I couldn't block with our corp email tool, so I just pretended and replied to all his emails changing the subject line to "COMPANY NAME: EMAIL FILTER" with a message along the lines of "your email has been blocked and has not been delivered. it has been reported to our mail administrator"

It worked a treat

Cunning.

Mail on Mac OSX has a 'bounce' feature for this kind of thing.

Looks like this:

OSX_Mail said:

Subject: Returned mail: User Unknown

The original message was received at 2008-12-06 20:33:14 +0000
from postoffice.home [10.0.0.1]

----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
<[e-mail]>

-----Transcript of session follows -----
... while talking to postoffice.home.:
RCPT To:<[e-mail]>
<<< 550 5.1.1 unknown or illegal alias: [e-mail]
550 <[e-mail]>... User unknown
Reporting-MTA: dns; postoffice.home
Received-From-MTA: DNS; postoffice.home
Arrival-Date: 2008-12-06 20:33:14 +0000

Final-Recipient: RFC822; [e-mail]
Action: failed
Status: 5.1.1
Remote-MTA: DNS; postoffice.home
Diagnostic-Code: SMTP;550 5.1.1 unknown or illegal alias: [e-mail]
Last-Attempt-Date: 2008-12-06 20:33:14 +0000

From: Steve <[e-mail]>
Date: 6 December 2008 20:36:21 GMT
To: [e-mail]
Subject: Test

Looks very real to me.... might be just what you're looking for.

(The [e-mail] is the sender, the [e-mail] is the receiving addresss - but that's obviously not real)

[Aubrey]

Alfa_75_Steve said:

dreamer75 said:

I had this with an ex and I couldn't block with our corp email tool, so I just pretended and replied to all his emails changing the subject line to "COMPANY NAME: EMAIL FILTER" with a message along the lines of "your email has been blocked and has not been delivered. it has been reported to our mail administrator"

It worked a treat

Cunning.

Mail on Mac OSX has a 'bounce' feature for this kind of thing.

I use this all the time on junk mail, works a treat!!!

[Mr Trophy]

block her?

[s3fella]

Mr Trophy said:

block her?

Like he used to, you mean!?