Vertu - With a Concierge service

[stuart-b]

At an average price of many thousands, with the top model being upward of £50,000 (£200,000 for the most expensive one off), I wondered what the point of the Vertu phone was... gold, diamonds, all well and good, but it's a phone.

Then I read that you get a years subscription to a Virtu Concierge service with every new phone - you have a special button on the phone to call this Concierge and ask them for any request.

Aparently the most outlandish request was to arrange dinner with the queen. They managed to secure tickets to see the Queen, which included dinner.

So... What would you ask for, if you had the Virtu Concierge service for a weekend?

Over to you...

[10 Pence Short]

I'd ask them if Ashley Cole has ever asked about whether it's safe to use his phone anally.

Edited by 10 Pence Short on Monday 8th December 11:50

[stuart-b]

10 Pence Short said:

I'd ask them if Ashley Cole has ever asked about whether it's safe to use his phone anally.

Edited by 10 Pence Short on Monday 8th December 11:50

Good one - I would never of thought of that.

[16v of fury]

I would request a trailer (towable by car) full of mountain dew, metallica tickets, 2 front tyres for my volvo, an MOT for my golf and a job


and a new attitude for my G/F

[Neil_H]

I'd ask them where I could get a brain transplant once I realised I'd paid several thousand pounds for an old Nokia phone in a fancy case.

[Plotloss]

Strangely enough I was talking to someone over the weekend who is trying to break a handset into a large London department store alongside Vertu phones.

You would not believe, for a single second, how quickly and in what volume Vertu phones sell.

[G'kar]

Plotloss said:

Strangely enough I was talking to someone over the weekend who is trying to break a handset into a large London department store alongside Vertu phones.

You would not believe, for a single second, how quickly and in what volume Vertu phones sell.

Try us.

[shirt]

do you have to pay for what you asked for on top of the concierge service? i.e. did they get dinner with HM for free?

i'd ask for a nuclear sub for a week + skeleton crew. preferably russian crew as they'd be up for a party. uniforms for me, a few mates and a couple of dozen busty 'models'. plenty of booze, drugs & food. harbour clearance for monaco and a diplomatic passport for when it all goes tits up.

[Rico]

Isn't the Vertu concierge service punted out to a third party that offer the same service for a load of different companies? They just brand them concierge staff as Vertu?

[B16JUS]

i agree they are a basic software phone but come on they are a nice looking phone ok not worth the ££££££££ but still if you got the money very nice, when we was in dubai you wouldnt belive the amount of people who had them its crazy

J

[thehawk]

Rico said:

Isn't the Vertu concierge service punted out to a third party that offer the same service for a load of different companies? They just brand them concierge staff as Vertu?

Quintessentially yes.

[Maxf]

Hmmm....

'Hello how can I help?'

'Ferrari 250GTO outside work at 17.30. Running. And hold the traffic.'

[ytrebil]

I would assume the weekend to start Friday at 5.30pm?

Friday:
I’d first of all get them to book myself and guests for dinner at The Ivy, London for about 7.30pm. I’d then get them to book in myself and guests to Maya, London and to fix up a tab behind the bar. Of course I will need some sleep so a quick call to The Ritz to get myself a honeymoon suite for myself and the lucky lady I pick up in Maya with a private car (probably a Maybach) to collect us from the club.

Saturday:
Okay, so I slept in. Afternoon tea @ The Ritz and a quick call to book myself an appointment at Lamborghini, Old Brompton Road, South Kensington and the Maybach to take us there. I’ve now realised that this girl I’ve met is now going to be my wife. So I buy her a Lamborghini. I find them a bit too ‘common’ for my liking so I get a private jet booked up from City Airport to take a look at a Veyron in Oman.. I need some new threads first so I get the concierge to give old Fayed a ring to let him know I’m on my way and concierge can organise me a personal shopper. My flight leaves at 9pm with dinner served on the plane. Only the 3 bottles of Dom for me and the ‘missus’. Manage to make a request to get hold of De Beers.

Sunday:
Al Bustan Palace was well booked up by the concierge. Well chuffed with that. I enjoyed the Maybach so much that I got them to ship the car over with me. They said they could collect me from the airport in a similar car, but I’m not really a fan of white cars. Even if it is a Phantom. I didn’t buy a Veyron, no. I bought 2. One as a collectors piece and the other as my daily 3 mile slogger. I get a return call from De Beers who have just the item I was looking for.

On my way back to London I got them to book up the Oxo Tower. Notice I said THE. Yes, very romantic. Managed to get Take That to perform up there for us as well (womens taste, eugh!). I managed to get the kitchen to put the ring in her treacle tart. Of course, she said yes.

So that was my average weekend anyway.

[Rico]

thehawk said:

Rico said:

Isn't the Vertu concierge service punted out to a third party that offer the same service for a load of different companies? They just brand them concierge staff as Vertu?

Quintessentially yes.

That's them! Nice one

[Fatbloke]

table for 4 at El Bulli please

[g4ry13]

My money back?

[stuart-b]

ytrebil said:

I would assume the weekend to start Friday at 5.30pm?

Friday:
I’d first of all get them to book myself and guests for dinner at The Ivy, London for about 7.30pm. I’d then get them to book in myself and guests to Maya, London and to fix up a tab behind the bar. Of course I will need some sleep so a quick call to The Ritz to get myself a honeymoon suite for myself and the lucky lady I pick up in Maya with a private car (probably a Maybach) to collect us from the club.

Saturday:
Okay, so I slept in. Afternoon tea @ The Ritz and a quick call to book myself an appointment at Lamborghini, Old Brompton Road, South Kensington and the Maybach to take us there. I’ve now realised that this girl I’ve met is now going to be my wife. So I buy her a Lamborghini. I find them a bit too ‘common’ for my liking so I get a private jet booked up from City Airport to take a look at a Veyron in Oman.. I need some new threads first so I get the concierge to give old Fayed a ring to let him know I’m on my way and concierge can organise me a personal shopper. My flight leaves at 9pm with dinner served on the plane. Only the 3 bottles of Dom for me and the ‘missus’. Manage to make a request to get hold of De Beers.

Sunday:
Al Bustan Palace was well booked up by the concierge. Well chuffed with that. I enjoyed the Maybach so much that I got them to ship the car over with me. They said they could collect me from the airport in a similar car, but I’m not really a fan of white cars. Even if it is a Phantom. I didn’t buy a Veyron, no. I bought 2. One as a collectors piece and the other as my daily 3 mile slogger. I get a return call from De Beers who have just the item I was looking for.

On my way back to London I got them to book up the Oxo Tower. Notice I said THE. Yes, very romantic. Managed to get Take That to perform up there for us as well (womens taste, eugh!). I managed to get the kitchen to put the ring in her treacle tart. Of course, she said yes.

So that was my average weekend anyway.

10/10, top effort - very good

[trooperiziz]

shirt said:

do you have to pay for what you asked for on top of the concierge service? i.e. did they get dinner with HM for free?

No, it's all free. I've got a Vertu, it's worth it for all the free planes, cars, hookers, drugs and booze I ask for. I also now know who shot JFK.

[Vixpy1]

Is it essentially not the same service Amex offer with their black card?

[Plotloss]

Vixpy1 said:

Is it essentially not the same service Amex offer with their black card?

You dont even need the Centurion to get it.

Concierge comes in with Platinum.