Funny Job Applicants
Discussion
So, who's had them? From the hillariously clueless to the outright stupid.
I'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
I'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
Heskey said:
So, who's had them? From the hillariously clueless to the outright stupid.
I'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
What job/position is he being interviewed for? I'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
Had a classic last year while looking for a new designer.
The guy bigged himself up throughout his CV with OTT claims and when I got to the bottom he had typed the following statement:
"If I were sum myself in one sentence I would say that I'm a master of all trades I have attempted and a Jack of none"
I filed his CV under bin....
The guy bigged himself up throughout his CV with OTT claims and when I got to the bottom he had typed the following statement:
"If I were sum myself in one sentence I would say that I'm a master of all trades I have attempted and a Jack of none"
I filed his CV under bin....
We had someone in on a temporary basis for 3 weeks to help us with some additional IT work. Soon after it was agreed that someone was needed full time to assist with the extra workload and placed an advertisement in the local newspaper.
Part of our application required the potential employee to note down their key skills and why they feel they are suitable for the roll. It clearly said at the top of the page to write as much as possible and to feel free to use the other side of the page if necessary. In other words, write at least a page!
He wrote, "Because I worked here before"
Great.
Part of our application required the potential employee to note down their key skills and why they feel they are suitable for the roll. It clearly said at the top of the page to write as much as possible and to feel free to use the other side of the page if necessary. In other words, write at least a page!
He wrote, "Because I worked here before"
Great.
Had a very shy, timid girl ring up earlier to arrange an interview (an instant no in telesales I believe).
I said, what's your name? She says "X Y", I say "Hang on a moment... We had you booked in earlier this week on Monday @ 11am", she says "No.. I've not rang up before." Yes she has the lying turd!
I said, what's your name? She says "X Y", I say "Hang on a moment... We had you booked in earlier this week on Monday @ 11am", she says "No.. I've not rang up before." Yes she has the lying turd!
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Think I mentioned this before but I think you were too busy trying to grab my ass to pay attention.I don't live in a built up area; the job centre listing goes something like:
Telesales
Pot washing
Part-time cleaner
Telesales
Telesales
Security Guard
Telesales
Telesales
This job was a diamond in the rough; it's s
te but it's better than anything else this place has to offer me! Besides, it's only to fund my car whilst following my ambition... Ahhh, when I'm Head Personal Assistant I'll rule the world 
Adenauer said:
Heskey said:
"Trainee Telesales Executive"
Or as the crazy Scottish manager likes to refer to them all as... "Fvck pigs".
Whhooooooooooosssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Or as the crazy Scottish manager likes to refer to them all as... "Fvck pigs".
anonymous said:
[redacted]
That's my job you oaf, keep up.Edited by Heskey on Thursday 18th December 11:38
k Heskey said:
So, who's had them? From the hillariously clueless to the outright stupid.
I'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
Have some moreI'm typing this whilst looking over at some 20-something asain chap sat on our sofas waiting for the manager to interview him... He's wearing shades, talking like a gangsta on his mobile and texting on another?!
Manager comes over "Would you like to come through?", chap gives that 'one second' hand gesture and finishes his call! Then wanders over like a gangster, waddling to the desk... Looking over now he's still wearing his shades talking to the manager.
It's like having Dizzee Rascal in da house
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
No refunds will be given on grounds of readers remorse
Wonder how long till the manager says.. out! (considering he gets the job)
Heskey said:
When people ring up to arrange interview times, I'll ask them for the best number to reach them on; a lot of people go "My mobile" ... "Okay... And what's the number...?"
I say that as many people still seem to hate ringing them, or have some odd suspicion over mobile numbers.That and I am often all over the place with local sims / bizzare landlines etc
I was relayed a tale at the place I used to work before I got there (Paul, if you're reading this, alright there fella!)
It was basically the same as that clip with the Range Rover shown on Top Gear the other week.
Immediately outside the office door is a canal, beyond which is a large car park....it was winter...there was snow covering everything...poor bloke parks up and makes a beeline for the office door...takes a step down off the "kerb" onto what he thinks is a plaza only to drop straight through the ice. Lost his briefcase as well which was later hoiked out of the canal by two local "rascals" who legged it before being chased and tackled by one of our staff.
Can't remember if he was interviewed in my boss's gym gear or not...I know that's what he had to wear to dry out and warm up.
He didn't get the job..
It was basically the same as that clip with the Range Rover shown on Top Gear the other week.
Immediately outside the office door is a canal, beyond which is a large car park....it was winter...there was snow covering everything...poor bloke parks up and makes a beeline for the office door...takes a step down off the "kerb" onto what he thinks is a plaza only to drop straight through the ice. Lost his briefcase as well which was later hoiked out of the canal by two local "rascals" who legged it before being chased and tackled by one of our staff.
Can't remember if he was interviewed in my boss's gym gear or not...I know that's what he had to wear to dry out and warm up.
He didn't get the job..
130R said:
Heskey said:
"Trainee Telesales Executive"
For such a prestigious position I would expect nothing less than perfection.
I don't know why they bother to be honest, doesn't matter if you've worked here 5 years, or netted a £25,000 deal a week ago. If you don't have a deal one week, out the door.
And yet people ask me why I don't want to earn more money doing telesales! (Well I wouldn't be able to post here and play footsie with Bedford for one thing)
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