"Can I speak to the owner of the business please?"
"Can I speak to the owner of the business please?"
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Discussion

ironictwist

Original Poster:

7,127 posts

234 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Can I ask what it's regarding?
Can I speak to the owner of the business please? (Asking again for some reason?!)
Well unfortunately he's a tad tied up at the moment. (Currently sitting on a beach in Mexico actually)
Ok...*mumbles a bit*

  • hangs up*
Seriously...These people need to at least put a bit of effort into their "approach" rolleyes


Edited by ironictwist on Friday 19th December 12:26

Plotloss

67,280 posts

299 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Its a brilliantly closed opening question.

Stock response is

'No, we're an autonomous collective working towards a common goal'

Murray993

1,515 posts

262 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
ironictwist said:
Seriously...These people need to at least put a bit of effort into there "approach" rolleyes
Did you mean "their approach" A bit more attention to detail would be appreciated.

ironictwist

Original Poster:

7,127 posts

234 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Murray993 said:
ironictwist said:
Seriously...These people need to at least put a bit of effort into there "approach" rolleyes
Did you mean "their approach" A bit more attention to detail would be appreciated.
Yikes! What is wrong with me! Thanks smile

Edited by ironictwist on Friday 19th December 12:26

Poledriver

29,583 posts

223 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Plotloss said:
Its a brilliantly closed opening question.

Stock response is

'No, we're an autonomous collective working towards a common goal'
Bloody peasants!

Digga

48,099 posts

312 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
This crap drives me and my staff livid.

I'm a director of two companies, so we get loads of this - a lot more recently - and the callers are arrogant rude and downright fking presumptuous to beleive is a.) that a gainfully employed boss busy doing nothing (I'm not I'm here on PH!) and b.) that they somehow have a right to talk to them.

I've instructed people to simply put the 'phone down on these sorts of callers.

singlecoil

35,830 posts

275 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Cold callings s. I hate them. Trouble is, if you tell them to fk off, every now and then you will get one that will ring back and pretend to be a customer, or some other kind of harrassment, just because they are pissed off that they haven't sold any of their st that day.

NiceCupOfTea

25,586 posts

280 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Quite right too. The correct response is "I don't know, can you?"

The correct question is "May I speak to the owner of the business please?"

john_p

7,073 posts

279 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Do you ever get the guys from America selling shares?

"Hi, can we speak to *director's name*"
> "I'll just try his line, can I ask who's calling"
"It's James"
> "James, what is the call regarding?"
"I'm calling about a BUSINESS MATTER"
> "James I can't put you through without more details, can you tell me where you're calling from?"
"Is *director's name* available?"
> "What is the nature of the call?"
"I'm calling to speak to *director's name* about a BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY"
> Puts call on hold indefinitely

Digga

48,099 posts

312 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
singlecoil said:
Cold callings s. I hate them. Trouble is, if you tell them to fk off, every now and then you will get one that will ring back and pretend to be a customer, or some other kind of harrassment, just because they are pissed off that they haven't sold any of their st that day.
Luckily, we're in a fairly specialist industry, so it's fairly hard for anyone to 'phone as a wind-up customer. Mind you on occasions even 'genuine' customers can astound:

Customer: Yeah I'm after a rubber track for me digger.
DIGBITS: Okay [you have called the right people] what make and model is it?
Customer: Well it's yellow...

coolcatmaz

3,521 posts

231 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Digga said:
This crap drives me and my staff livid.

I'm a director of two companies, so we get loads of this - a lot more recently - and the callers are arrogant rude and downright fking presumptuous to beleive is a.) that a gainfully employed boss busy doing nothing (I'm not I'm here on PH!) and b.) that they somehow have a right to talk to them.

I've instructed people to simply put the 'phone down on these sorts of callers.
Boss has told me to do the same as well. We've had loads of them calling just recently, drives me and him mad.

I know they are just doing a job, but god it's annoying when the phone is busy as it is without them adding to it.

trickywoo

14,143 posts

259 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
I find saying you are a subsidary company without any decision making powers works.

A refinement on this would then be to direct them to the 'head office' number which would happen to be a premium rate number paying you money for each call.

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

250 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
I had to do this for a while when i first started, i hated every min of it. I know how annoying they are, and there i was doing it!

Thankfully alot of people i spoke to where helpful, maybe they could hear the embarrasment in my voice.

It wasnt so bad though as it was just drumming up business for advertising in football programmes which seem to be quite popular.

I think the best response i got from someone, thankfully in reply to an email (asking if they'd like to advertise in the Aberdeen FC programme) was and i quote:

I banned Jimmy Calderwood from my restaurant years ago, for being a rude and obnoxious prick and i therefore conclude that Advertising at a middle of the road football ground would certainly not benefit my business.
Cheers anyway.

Kind Regards,
Steven ******,
Tel ***************.
(Remember to book your table at Cafe*****)

SS HSV

9,646 posts

287 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Pissing against the wind here; I answer every one of the call requests personally. It could be more business, or a genuine complaint about the services I offer. If the person at the other end of the line doesn't at least get their question aired, how do you think they are going to perceive your services? Further more what are they likely to say to others about your services/delivery of?

singlecoil

35,830 posts

275 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
SS HSV said:
Pissing against the wind here; I answer every one of the call requests personally. It could be more business, or a genuine complaint about the services I offer. If the person at the other end of the line doesn't at least get their question aired, how do you think they are going to perceive your services? Further more what are they likely to say to others about your services/delivery of?
Tell me you are joking. Good deadpan delivery, though, had me wondering for a minute.

DrTre

12,957 posts

261 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
A previous boss of mine swapped his first and middle name when registering at Companies House (either that or habitually goes by his middle name rather than first). Filters out the sales calls rather efficiently.

10 mins was the record of keeping someone on hold while the receptionist tried in vain to locate the MD...

Digga

48,099 posts

312 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
SS HSV said:
Pissing against the wind here; I answer every one of the call requests personally.
rolleyes You obviously don't receive anywhere near as many as I do. On occasions I coudl easliy spend most of a morning or afternoon going from one to the next.

SS HSV said:
It could be more business,
I have staff who are willing and more than capable of discussing any initial enquiries.

SS HSV said:
or a genuine complaint about the services I offer. If the person at the other end of the line doesn't at least get their question aired, how do you think they are going to perceive your services? Further more what are they likely to say to others about your services/delivery of?
Again, if there is a complaint, initially we have staff to handle this. Customers can request to speak to a director and such requests are never reasonably refused.

cj_eds

1,567 posts

250 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Plotloss said:
Its a brilliantly closed opening question.

Stock response is

'No, we're an autonomous collective working towards a common goal'
You will be assimilated, resistance is futile??
paperbagSorry, I'll take my geeky joke somewhere else getmecoat

SJobson

13,808 posts

293 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
"We're a quoted PLC. If you can identify all of the owners yourself, please feel free."

gamefreaks

2,067 posts

216 months

Friday 19th December 2008
quotequote all
Mr Patel: Can I speak to the owner of the business please?
ironictwist : I didn't know we had an owner. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Mr Patel: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
ironictwist : Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
Mr Patel: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in the big office with a window?
ironictwist : No one live there.
Mr Patel: Then who is your boss?
ironictwist : We don't have a boss.
Mr Patel: What?
ironictwist : I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Mr Patel: Yes.
ironictwist : But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
Mr Patel: Yes, I see.
ironictwist : By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
Mr Patel: Be quiet!
ironictwist : --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
Mr Patel: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
ironictwist : Order, eh -- who does he think he is?