Orangutans to replace finance company directors?
Discussion
On the news this morning a study was reported that Orangutans are capable of trading a form of currency with one another and using said currency to purchase food from their captors. Now I can't help but feel that in times of economic crisis desperate times call for desperate measures and this presents a novel solution to an age old problem.
Humans are, quite frankly, utterly s
t at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this week that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.
In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear st on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up.
The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Humans are, quite frankly, utterly s
t at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this week that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear s
t on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up. The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Edited by G_T on Wednesday 24th December 11:09
G_T said:
On the news this morning a study was reported that Orangutans are capable of trading a form of currency with one another and using said currency to purchase food from their captors. Now I can't help but feel that in times of economic crisis desperate times call for desperate measures and this presents a novel solution to an age old problem.
Humans are, quite frankly, utterly st at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this weak that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.
In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear st on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up.
The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Flawed plan; Humans are, quite frankly, utterly s
t at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this weak that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear s
t on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up. The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Increasing fruit bonus leads to the squits and more faeces based debt collections.
Isn't that just the problem we already have?
Brown and Boris said:
G_T said:
On the news this morning a study was reported that Orangutans are capable of trading a form of currency with one another and using said currency to purchase food from their captors. Now I can't help but feel that in times of economic crisis desperate times call for desperate measures and this presents a novel solution to an age old problem.
Humans are, quite frankly, utterly st at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this weak that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.
In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear st on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up.
The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Flawed plan; Humans are, quite frankly, utterly s
t at managing their finances. This was proven when the bank of England admitted earlier this weak that "economics wasn't it's strong point". Orangutans are obviously much better. They live rent and board free and are far less materialistic than the rest of us so the facts speak for themselves.In lieu of expensive bonuses we could simply increase their fruit quota based on their annual performance and tricky negotiating tactics with EU counterparts could be averted by hurling faeces at them. If the faeces policy held true in negiotiations it could also be a standardised policy across the debt collection situation. "Pay your debt or we'll smear s
t on you", I fail to see why anyone wouldn't pay up. The only potential pitfall to this that I can see is that similar study was set up to see if red haired primates who masturbate in public can achieve the respect of the population. The study was conducted by radio 2 and unforntuately it was proven to be a complete failure as everybody still hates Chris Evans.
Any thoughts? (And yes it's incredibly quiet at work this morning)
Increasing fruit bonus leads to the squits and more faeces based debt collections.
Isn't that just the problem we already have?
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