Help parents,rules, boundaries for child internet access .
Discussion
Hi hope some one can give me some back up or direction here,caught my 12yr old daughter on her i phone at 11o/c last nite,had the usual row as you do,getting interested on what she was doing Ive (probably wrongly to some) had a look at the history file and find she has been on msn/facebook/my space ect and found three IMO "grooming mails" from again IMO perverts, had a huge row with her and now want to ban her from it all and have gone from hero to zero overnight ( i phone was xmas pressie) she has explained all her friends go on it and they all get these spammy mails and just delete them,she thinks Im being harsh and dont trust her I think shes is too young and should be supervised whilst on the net and take the phone off her,what am I to do? any comments would be great,
G
G
I dont have kids, but my neieces and nephews are a simlar age - they spend as much time as they can on the net, talking to mates.
My sis has said they can only use the net at certain times of day, somthing like an hours before dinner, and hour after. She's pretty tough at sticking to it too.
The grooming thing is a worry though. You can block people in MSN if you think these are people your daughter doesnt know. I dont know about the myspace etc as I've not used them.
My sis has said they can only use the net at certain times of day, somthing like an hours before dinner, and hour after. She's pretty tough at sticking to it too.
The grooming thing is a worry though. You can block people in MSN if you think these are people your daughter doesnt know. I dont know about the myspace etc as I've not used them.
Personally I wouldn't have given her the phone in the first place, she's 12! What does she need an iPhone for?
On topic though, I'd certainly set strict times of when she can and can't use the internet. If you find her breaking those rules, take the phone off her (whether it's just for a week, or permanently, it's your call!). Don't just threaten it, actually do it. It is the only way she will learn. I'd also consider getting her to tell you what is contained in her emails, sitting down and explaining to her what might happen, what she mustn't do is the only way to stop these emails becoming something more serious.
HTH.
On topic though, I'd certainly set strict times of when she can and can't use the internet. If you find her breaking those rules, take the phone off her (whether it's just for a week, or permanently, it's your call!). Don't just threaten it, actually do it. It is the only way she will learn. I'd also consider getting her to tell you what is contained in her emails, sitting down and explaining to her what might happen, what she mustn't do is the only way to stop these emails becoming something more serious.
HTH.
Take a note of her profile addresses and have a look at them every couple of days so you can see the sort of people contacting her and also what she's putting on the pages.
If she is on mobile internet, it's bound to be eating into her credit, so at least you'll be able to keep tabs on that. If she's using Wifi, turn the router off after 9pm or whatever.
If she is on mobile internet, it's bound to be eating into her credit, so at least you'll be able to keep tabs on that. If she's using Wifi, turn the router off after 9pm or whatever.
If shes accessing the web via wifi then your router will have parental controls or there is something called OpenDNS which will do the job for you.
http://www.opendns.com/homenetwork/solutions
http://www.opendns.com/homenetwork/solutions
CatherineJ said:
Pork said:
CatherineJ said:
A bit harsh to buy it for her as a prezzie and then take it off her.
Not at 11.00pm, surely, she's only 12!I think being reasonable about use - i.e. no use after 8.00 or something. I'm amazed how dependant kids seem to be on the net and speaking from expenrience, they scream a bit when you take it away...but its for the best
g/l OP!
I guess it could be argued that you should perhaps have given more thought to this kind of thing before you bought her the iPhone. As you've discovered, it's far harder to supervise access to a handheld device than to a desktop.
Are there any filters you can apply? I know there are some basic restrictions you can set on the iPod Touch but nothing specific to particular websites I don't think.
Perhaps there's something you could download from the App Store that gives greater control.
Having said all that, another option may be to simply explain your fears to her and make her aware of the dangers. That way, she stands far less chance of being sucked in by any dodgy messages.
At a more basic level, I'm not sure I'd entrust something worth that much money to a 12 year old. Chances are it will quickly end up broken or stolen.
Are there any filters you can apply? I know there are some basic restrictions you can set on the iPod Touch but nothing specific to particular websites I don't think.
Perhaps there's something you could download from the App Store that gives greater control.
Having said all that, another option may be to simply explain your fears to her and make her aware of the dangers. That way, she stands far less chance of being sucked in by any dodgy messages.
At a more basic level, I'm not sure I'd entrust something worth that much money to a 12 year old. Chances are it will quickly end up broken or stolen.
Edited by Risotto on Sunday 4th January 19:52
catmartin said:
Take a note of her profile addresses and have a look at them every couple of days so you can see the sort of people contacting her and also what she's putting on the pages.
If she is on mobile internet, it's bound to be eating into her credit, so at least you'll be able to keep tabs on that. If she's using Wifi, turn the router off after 9pm or whatever.
Thanks for the idea,I had reservations giving it to her but gave in to the batty blue eyes "pleeeese daddy its all i want for christmas" I had my doubts had all the talks with her and radomly log in to her msn,turning the router off is a good idea but still has 3G,so I wont let her take it to bed with her from now on she is a good kid hence my trust,its the random pervy mails that they get that has really shook us,its that I have the problem with not my giving her the thing thats done now.If she is on mobile internet, it's bound to be eating into her credit, so at least you'll be able to keep tabs on that. If she's using Wifi, turn the router off after 9pm or whatever.
gary11 said:
Tuscan Tart said:
Sorry, but I wouldn't have bought a 12yr old a phone with internet access.
80% of phones have net access these days 80% of her friends have phones,its the moving forward I need help with but thanks anyway,G
I now AOL used to have parental controls, not sure if they still do.
However it was possible to restrict access to sites kids could use, and restrict the times they could be online. Also made it easy to monitor where they had been.
Internet access for kids should be in a room where the parents are, you can't keep an eye on them all the time, but just by knowing you can see what they are doing, will limit them.
How many occasions when teenagers go missing do we hear that the parents didn't know what they were accessing online etc.
However it was possible to restrict access to sites kids could use, and restrict the times they could be online. Also made it easy to monitor where they had been.
Internet access for kids should be in a room where the parents are, you can't keep an eye on them all the time, but just by knowing you can see what they are doing, will limit them.
How many occasions when teenagers go missing do we hear that the parents didn't know what they were accessing online etc.
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