Understeer, oversteer, wombling free

[Digga]

Okay, so we're on the verge of stalinist control over our cars and roads. There will soon be cameras and spy-in-the-cab systems which will finally, along with speed scameras and draconian sentences for drivers casuing 'accidents' will spell the end for any degree of 'enthusiastic' driving.

It's already bad enough, and most journeys you end up trundling along behind some dodo who don't know if they're more frightened of fuel consumption or speeding fines, but it'll get worse. So we'll likely have a whole bunch of motoring phrases which, unless we re-invent them, will fall into disuse. I think we need some suggestions to bring them up to date. I'll kick us off:

Oversteer: Driving position with the seat back bolt-upright and the seat pushed forwards, forehead wedged up against the windscreen (giving their gormless face an eerie glow), hunched over the wheel. Very popular with nervous and/or shortsighted drivers.

[Marf]

Sounds dangerously like newspeak to me.

Doubleplusungood

[Crusoe]

four wheel drift - that weave people do to stop you overtaking on narrow roads

[Dirty Boy]

wheelspin

• Accidently losing grip of the steering wheel

Edited by Dirty Boy on Tuesday 6th January 14:58

[Dirty Boy]

Drifting

• A lack of sleep/coffee/proplus

[ShadownINja]

Powerslide
Electronic facility to move your seat forwards and backwards at the touch of a button.

Edited by ShadownINja on Tuesday 6th January 15:00

[rude-boy]

Understeer - when your girlfriend's head is in your lap whilst you are driving.

[Digga]

flat out

Recumbent position, achieved by reclining seat back, adopted whilst taking a 'sleep kills break' in lyby or carpark.

[wadgebeast]

J Turns - turning left into the nearside lane in order to swing round into a right hand junction. Seen as legitimate by articulated truck drivers, but also wrongly by picasso drivers.

[Kozy]

Understeer - A failure to steer ones vehicle into the correct lane, either on motorways or roundabouts.

[Dirty Boy]

Anyone have offerings for these?

Heel and Toe

Skid Control

Burnouts

Evasive driving

[308mate]

Burnout

A condition of the mind caused by constantly following people doing 40mph along NSL roads each day.

See also: blown gasket

Skid control

An skill employed when the driver is desperate for the toilet and has overshot the last m-way services for 55miles.

Edited by 308mate on Tuesday 6th January 15:07

[davido140]

Skid Control

Ensuring you pull over for regular toilet breaks.

Edited by davido140 on Tuesday 6th January 15:06

[Gargamel]

Italian Tune Up

Pavorotti on the stereo

[Dirty Boy]

Top Speed

• Dangerous but good quality substance, often found in vehicles parked on Seven Sisters Road

[DrTre]

Double Declutch - Releasing the steering wheel to cover ones eyes with both hands. e.g. in the event of getting a bit squirrelly (swerving to avoid Tufty when he wasn't paying attention)

Edited by DrTre on Tuesday 6th January 15:06

[ShadownINja]

Tunnel run
Eco-friendly mode of transport, usually performed while wearing brands of trainers such as Asics, passing through tunnels to avoid getting wet.

[rude-boy]

Dirty Boy said:

Anyone have offerings for these?

Heel and Toe
Ladies must check that these are appropriate before setting off.
Skid Control
No following through.
Burnouts
excessive wind after a night out at the Indian.
Evasive driving
When the g/f has caught you in another car suffering from Understeer.

[Digga]

Short Shifting

Driving quickly in just your undies.

[ShadownINja]

Hoon
Labour MP for Ashfield.