Father's permission when proposing...

[The Skunk]

When you proposed to your OH, did you ask your potential father-in-law's consent beforehand?

I'm a bit of a traditionalist and like to think I would. I just wonder if this is still done or is it one of those traditions that has faded out?

Cheers

[Will26]

I did, it was very awkward. But he seemed happy that I had asked him first. Wasnt as bad as telling him his daughter was pregnant.

[Sheets Tabuer]

I'd feel silly asking, feels very outdated to me in these liberated times, it was ok when dickens was alive but not now.

[Plotloss]

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd feel silly asking, feels very outdated to me in these liberated times, it was ok when dickens was alive but not now.

Nonsense.

It's only right to ask.

[Superhoop]

I did too - just kind of feels right that way

[Flat_Steve]

Yeah I did, he loved it and the missus did too. Can't hurt.

[drivin_me_nuts]

... when I was a student many moons ago, several Malaysian students in my class decided to get wed. Because the father of the bride to be was not in the UK, the chap asked the permission of most significant figure of authority he could find for the approval...

the head of department.

Perhaps one of the more unusual requests for a HoD to deal with

[Sheets Tabuer]

Plotloss said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd feel silly asking, feels very outdated to me in these liberated times, it was ok when dickens was alive but not now.

Nonsense.

It's only right to ask.

How so?

In a victorian she is my property and you will ask to have her kind of way? I thought women were liberated now and no ones property so the only person to be asked was actually the intended.

[Plotloss]

Because its tradition and whilst its a tradition that seems to be diluted as generations pass it is stronger with older generations, therefore her father will place more emotional weight on it than you, so it is right that they should be asked.

It doesnt infer ownership, we're quite beyond buying cows by way of dowry its just a tradition, a courtesy and the done thing.

[Mr Fenix]

Ask away.

I asked my father in law and he seemed happy enough that I'd asked him, he then told me all sales final and no return policy !

[dreamer75]

My fiancee asked my mum and dad for permission and I love it - you can't get much more "modern woman" than me but I also love tradition

It was the right thing to do for us

[Sheets Tabuer]

Plotloss said:

Because its tradition and whilst its a tradition that seems to be diluted as generations pass it is stronger with older generations, therefore her father will place more emotional weight on it than you, so it is right that they should be asked.

It doesnt infer ownership, we're quite beyond buying cows by way of dowry its just a tradition, a courtesy and the done thing.

I see, I always viewed it as rather outdated and irrelevant in this day and age.

Let me ask those with daughters would they like to be asked?

[Bullett]

I went 50/50 and went to see her parents to tell them I was going to ask her.

[kma]

it seems a good idea but what if you ask permission and then she turns you down? you'd look a right tt.

[moleamol]

Plotloss said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd feel silly asking, feels very outdated to me in these liberated times, it was ok when dickens was alive but not now.

Nonsense.

It's only right to ask.

What about bumming? Do you ask if he approves of that as well?

[mically]

moleamol said:

Plotloss said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

I'd feel silly asking, feels very outdated to me in these liberated times, it was ok when dickens was alive but not now.

Nonsense.

It's only right to ask.

What about bumming? Do you ask if he approves of that as well?

how odd....

[Redmax]

I didn't ask but would do now if I could do it again.

[DocJock]

Sheets Tabuer said:

Let me ask those with daughters would they like to be asked?

No. I'd think the bloke was a weirdo who's stuck in the distant past.

Just because it used to be 'the done thing' doesn't mean it's right in this day and age.
It used to be 'the done thing' for wives to stay at home and not to be allowed to vote...

[HundredthIdiot]

I didn't. I asked her 11 year old son instead, since it had more impact on him.

I was so emotionally exhausted after that, I didn't have the energy to ask her father (or the convenience, what with him being in a different country).

I still feel a bit bad now, but life is imperfect and you do the best you can.

[Titan Simba]

I did. It was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life but very glad I did. I have a very good relationship with my in-laws now.
I got the nod and was welcomed to the family then and there. Very emotional.