Simple Oil Change Instructions

[Quinny]

The initial message was deleted from this topic on 17 October 2011 at 22:38

[rsv gone!]

You forgot 10a) Curse as your bike spills its oil out faster than your catch tray will take it! (Throw kitty litter on oil spills etc....)

[Chilli]

Changed the oil in my car once.....turned out I'd emptied the gearbox oil. bh to refill.

[cs02rm0]

Quinny said:

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:
(1) Pull up to Kwik fit.
(2) Relax in a chair with a coffee from coffee machine read womans magazine.
(3) 5 minutes later get told three of your tyres are dangerous at 5mms of tread left and they have to change them in pairs and that the tracking's out.
(4) 90 minutes later write a cheque and leave with oil change completed.

Money Spent
Oil Change: £35.00 (semi-synthetic oil change)
Tracking: £25.00
4 Tyres and fitting: £420
35p for coffee.

2 weeks later the engine seizes up after the drain plug falls out.

EFA.

[AndyS2]

Chilli said:

Changed the oil in my car once.....turned out I'd emptied the gearbox oil. bh to refill.

I remember reading on an Audi forum about a bloke who tried to do a DIY oil change, he drained the gearbox oil and re-filled the engine with fresh oil. He then posted up asking why it was smoking!!

[diesel head]

My father changed the oil once, the car required a new engine afterwards, he had replaced sump plug just not the washer!

[dave_s13]

Chilli said:

Changed the oil in my car once.....turned out I'd emptied the gearbox oil. bh to refill.

I once did that on an old Audi A6. Then topped up the engine with another 5 litres, yes they do take 10 litres of oil!!!

Drove it for a short distance with no oil in the gearbox and 10L of oil in the engine........sold it shortly afterwards you live and learn.

[Chilli]

AndyS2 said:

Chilli said:

Changed the oil in my car once.....turned out I'd emptied the gearbox oil. bh to refill.

I remember reading on an Audi forum about a bloke who tried to do a DIY oil change, he drained the gearbox oil and re-filled the engine with fresh oil. He then posted up asking why it was smoking!!

Quality. At least I checked the dipstick, and couldn't work out why it was still full....then the penny dropped.

[dave_s13]

Chilli said:

AndyS2 said:

Chilli said:

Changed the oil in my car once.....turned out I'd emptied the gearbox oil. bh to refill.

I remember reading on an Audi forum about a bloke who tried to do a DIY oil change, he drained the gearbox oil and re-filled the engine with fresh oil. He then posted up asking why it was smoking!!

Quality. At least I checked the dipstick, and couldn't work out why it was still full....then the penny dropped.

That wasn't me BTW, I knew what I'd done after about 50yards....that sinking feeling was horrible.

[garycat]

Quinny said:

Note: This was written for cars, but applies to bikes too.

Changing Car or Bike Oil.

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:
(1) Pull up to Kwik fit.
(2) Relax in a chair with a coffee from coffee machine read womans magazine.
(3) 45 minutes later write a cheque and leave with oil change completed.

You forgot about Kwik Fit telling the woman that her brakes are dangerously low and she needs new pads and discs which will be £400 please.

[supersingle]

Don't forget to strip the threads off the drain hole.

hth

[Steamer]

I had a friend that did a rather leisurely oil change in a 944.

He drained the oil, then toddled off to buy the oil and the filter. On returning a number of hours later he refilled the oil and was horrified when the engine sounded like a bag of spanners on a spin cycle... not a good idea to leave a Porsche engine empty apparently as the pressure drops out of the lifters.